Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Nice as it is to be meandering down memory lane I had a list of things to list.
Mum’s birthday. It was January. You may remember The Spotted Cake from Hell. Well. I was asked how the cake turned out after I’d microwaved it and all.
The cake didn’t come out perfect. It wasn’t soggy anymore but it was rather dense. The cake mix didn’t completely expand all the way so there were one or two little holes in the middle but the gaps were smaller than they were before I microwaved it. It tasted fine. A bit over cooked but fine. Like I said though, it was dense. No surprise as it was so overcooked.
I set up little surprises for mum for when she got up.
Last year my dad, oddly enough, got me the best gift. A birthday card that sings happy birthday. I hadn’t had a sound card for years so it was fun, and it’s loud so I’d use it to wake mum up when she started snoring in her chair. She hated it. As I go to bed so late I was able so set up surprises while she was asleep. I stuck that birthday card from last year to the outside of her door, which was harder than you think because her door doesn’t shut properly anymore. I taped it to the door so when she opened it, all sleepy and just plodding to the toilet to start the day, this card would suddenly start screaming HAPPY BITRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! Surprising but a nice surprise.
I felt bad because I hadn’t got her much in the way of gifts so I wanted to make up for it with experiences. What I had gotten her was a few sweets. Things she likes and/or things she has fond memories of, such as sherbet fountains. I’m not a fan myself. I love sherbet but I hate liquorice. So I hid them around the house. I hid one in her shoe and one in the microwave (she usually had porridge in the mornings but not that morning. But once she knew I’d hidden things she checked in there). Overall she seemed pleased with the experiences and even replicated the gift hunt for my birthday.
It was fun and frustrating because I couldn’t find one and, shame of shame, it was right in front of me.

I have new glasses. I decided this year that I’d get new frames as I was worried about my old ones last year. They told me that they don’t do those frames anymore so if the broke they couldn’t be replaced which worried me. So I got new frames this year. As I’ve been thinking about it on and off for a year I was accepting of a change. Big plastic frames seem to be in fashion lately, and by lately I mean the last few years. So I decided to give them a go. I’d been thinking of trying them throughout the year. I’ve never had them before, except for my sunglasses which must be 7 years old by now. I haven’t bothered with sunglasses since I barely go out in the sun. It’s just too expensive getting one pair of glasses, let alone 2.
These frames have taken some getting used to. They don’t have nose pads. I’ve never had glasses without nose pads before. When the dog headbutts me they jab into my nose and eye. So not having that happen was a nice idea. I can push them all the way up, right into my face and nothing.
They seemed fine when trying them on.
Of course that’s always the problem, for me at least. Trying on frames is very difficult. I can’t see clearly more than 6-7 inches from my face. I don’t wear contacts and I have to consider my astigmatism. My lenses need to be a bit thicker to have the right curvature. Thicker lenses are heavier lenses.
When trying them on for maybe 10 minutes at most you don’t get a sense of how it would be to wear them all day every day, as I have to do.
I didn’t realise how much the earpieces jutted out at the back or how flat they were. I could feel a difference but I didn’t notice how much.

Just like my metal framed glasses have always had nose pads they’ve also always hooked nicely behind my ears. My last pair of glasses have, what I call, the double joint/hinge, where they can bend back a little without bending out of shape (as I used to do with previous glasses) so they hugged my face tightly. A little too tightly as they left little impressions on the sides of my head but I could live with it so it was fine.
The final thing to consider with these now glasses is how greasy my face is. Seriously it’s really really bad, my nose and forehead especially. Since I’d never had everyday glasses with plastic frames before I didn’t know they could slip so so so very much. The first week was a nightmare. Having just come from tight glasses that hugged my face I went straight into slippery glasses that could fall off so easily. I tested this. It took a little shaking but it could happen. I have never had a problem with my glasses falling off. It would have to take some considerable force. These would only take a quarter of that.
I really really thought about changing them but they were bloody expensive and it’s not like I could get a refund. The lenses are unique to me. (I can’t fathom how people can just pop into a pharmacy and pick up cheap glasses. I guess those are things like reading glasses but still. Do you have to know your prescription? Do they have it in stock? Is there just a small range of lenses needed for reading glasses so it’s not as varied? And one day disposable contact lenses? You can just buy those and they have your exact prescription? Baffles me. Back to the point)
I really liked the look and feel of the new glasses. I loved them. It’s just the slipping thing.
I looked into ways of dealing with it. Maybe stick on nose pads? There’s a bunch of stuff but I don’t trust online shopping and if I messed my glasses up it would be devastating. It’s not just some cheap reading glasses that I can take on and off as needed. I literally cannot see if these things aren’t on my face so they need to permanently be on my face.

I inquired at multiple opticians to see if they might have nose pads in store because then t least I could ask for advice and threaten lawsuit if the product did any harm. You buy cheap online and you don’t have that option. Multiple opticians except my own. I only looked into local opticians because it wasn’t worth going all the way up to my opticians just to find out that they couldn’t help either. It just wasn’t worth it. I kept getting that same story. We used to sell them. We used to have little things like that but not anymore. You’re better off looking online or trying a smaller independent optician, they sometimes have things like that.
So in the end I gave up on stick on nose pads. By that time things had greatly improved because I had a go at them in the first week.
I got a heat tool for embossing a while ago. I know. I’m moving up in the card making game. I’d only used it once so far on a card. It works fine. And as these frames are plastic I could maybe use it to soften the plastic a little and bend them to a more comfortable shape.
I felt comfortable to do this because the plastic is strong so as long as I didn’t go crazy they I should be okay. And if I messed up too much, as long as nothing snapped or cracked, I should be able to go back to the optician and they could fix it. Also using a heat tool and bending them is exactly what the optician would have done anyway but I would have felt more self-conscious about it and accepted a better but not the best possible fit because I would feel like I was wasting their time while they would have had to keep on making small adjustments until I was happy. I felt much happier and more comfortable doing it myself at home because I could make the smallest adjustments until I felt satisfied (or at least as happy as I could be before I decided this was enough and to stop before I ruined everything).
I bent them to hook nicely behind my ears. Once I’d done that they felt so much better. Firstly the comforting feeling of the ear being cradled by ear hook (as I call them) and then the feeling of security. It now takes considerable shaking or a sudden violent head/full body jerk to dislodge my glasses.
They still slip but I find they stay pretty well if I wipe the bridge of my nose and glasses regularly. I don’t think they’ll ever be slip free but compared to how they were to start with they have greatly improved and we’ve gotten used to each other now.

Was there anything else? Oh yes. Baby Simon’s joint Christening and second birthday party. I wore a dress (a different one to the one I wore to the wedding) I planned to change into jeans, thirt and my boots after the Christening so I’d be more comfortable for the birthday party but that plan was scuppered when I brought everything (including leggings in cake I had to keep the dress on but didn’t want tight tights like at the wedding) except my boots. We were already late and it wasn’t worth going back for them. I’d just have to wear my heels all day. I had brought thin socks to wear in case that happened. It turned out to be okay at the time but I’m not so sure in the long run because I’d accidentally cut my big toenail too short and it’s been very slow to grow back since. It looks normal right now but my toe had been swelling up ever since and this was in May.
We were late to the service but got in before the door shut. They had only just started. There had been a delay of about 10-15 minutes earlier which had had a knock-on effect.
It took quite a while. Too long I’m my opinion. Why exactly do you need such a long service for the Christening? There was a greeting, a few hymns, a service, prayer and then finally the actual Christening itself. I get that it’s supposed to be a solemn occasion but must it be quite so long? But it was a very nice service, even though I didn’t sing certain parts of hymns/recite prayers as I felt it would be hypocritical of me to do so.
You know already how I feel about churches and services. But if you don’t I’ll put it very very quickly.
1) Despite being Christened I am atheist. 2) I don’t see why God is found in buildings and/or institutions. Why must you be in a church to give thanks to and worship an all-seeing and all-knowing being? Why must you sing such songs and say such prayers in such a way as to please your God? Why isn’t just being a good person enough? And why should there be an afterlife? Isn’t one enough? And why is it a reward if you’ve been good? Isn’t goodness itself supposed to be its own reward. That’s what we tell children at least.
Ah. This was supposed to be 2 short sentences. Enough. Onto the birthday. But not before one more thing about the christening.
Being 2 now he is able to run around and speak to a degree. And as this was a fun day out for him he kept slipping away from his parents and running to the back of the church (it’s a nice tiny church in a beautiful location) to the back room where there were sweets and cake. They’d been bribing him to keep him well behaved before and during the service but he got defiant when it was time for the actual baptism so his mother had to bribe him with a bit of cake and then he was good. Good but confused by the proceedings.

They had a bouncy castle and he spent most of the day on it with one of his cousins on this father’s side (his mother is my cousin, in case you forgot since I hate using names). Overall it was a very nice day. He’s gotten to that particular age where children start noticing and being bothered by things. At one point, later in the day after the crowd had thinned a bit, he went to go down a slide. He wasn’t wearing shoes because he’d come off of the bouncy castle but he was wearing socks and had been running over the grass. Once sitting on the slide he noticed a piece of grass on his sock and completely focussed on it, refusing to move until the grass had been removed.
The terrible 2’s have begun. I’ve heard tales of the terrible two’s.

And I think that will do for now. I hope I don’t have to spilt this over two or more entries.