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Memories of the 28th Century

Hospital Garb

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I have been in medical facilities for most of the last two months. I wasnít going anywhere, and much of the time medical personnel were doing various things to me, so I spent most of the time just wearing a hospital johnnie, as they are called. They are designed for easy access. I have heard and read of them being undignified, insulting, disgusting, and obscene, etc. for decades, but I hadnít worn one, so I didnít know or care. My decades of avoiding johnnies ended with a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm. That only incapacitated me for a few days; I had a very good surgeon. But they discovered that I also had pneumonia, and that kept me in hospital, and hospital garb, for another week.

It took several days for me to feel comfortable with the situation. Most of the nurses, aides, and other medical personnel were young women, but one of the effects of the the ruptured aneurysm was scrotal edema, so I couldn't take advantage of the situation, even though some of them were very attractive, and they were doing all sorts of medical tests and procedures to many parts of me, as I lay there, barely clad, and they seemed to find my state of near nudity to be either unimportant or somewhat attractive. I decided that if they didn't mind the johnny, then I didn't mind it either, but I was out of action for a few weeks.

Then there was the matter of retaining my dignity. One day a physical therapist took me for a walk to see whether I remembered how to walk; I did. As we started, she rearranged my johnny, saying, "So you will retain your dignity." I replied, "I retain my dignity regardless of my garb or lack thereof." But that may just be my attitude.

I did find that johnnies are easy to get around for excreting, washing, etc. They are easy to get off, but they can be difficult to get on and getting the snaps and ties right is sort of mysterious.

For hospital wear, they work, but I think that I would prefer something more like what Gandalf might wear, full- length and hooded. Design questions remain: pull-over or front closing, how loose, etc. I will be looking at bath robes in the near future, so I should be able to put to use my recently gained knowledge.

In some ways johnnies are like women's slit skirts (his and hers slit skirts could be great fun). I may try that some day, especially if I find a a woman who has a similar attitude.

Another piece of knowledge that the johnny showed me was the matter of having one's skirt cover certain parts of one's anatomy. It can be difficult, and now I have more sympathy with some women, but I am not all that concerned with public display; it seems to bother women much more than it bothers me.


Bath robes, monk's robes, magicians' robes, etc. This matter of wearing divided kilts is horsemen's garb, and I am descended from the Sarmatians, so divided kilts or pantaloons are appropriate to me, even though I don't often ride horses, but one should be ready. But for lounging a robe is perfectly good, and there's no horse to get in the way.

Updated 05-09-2018 at 10:56 AM by PeterL

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Comments

  1. kiz_paws's Avatar
    One never knows what to expect when visiting your Blog, lol.
    First of all, I am sorry to hear that you were experiencing serious medical issues, and do hope you are well on the mend, Peter.
    Second of all, your narrative had me chuckling... things described as only YOU can.
    Take care, my friend.
  2. PeterL's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by kiz_paws
    One never knows what to expect when visiting your Blog, lol.
    First of all, I am sorry to hear that you were experiencing serious medical issues, and do hope you are well on the mend, Peter.
    Second of all, your narrative had me chuckling... things described as only YOU can.
    Take care, my friend.
    It seems to be over, except for the completion of healing of a small incision. It was only one of these. http://zarinslab.stanford.edu/public...A_pmj_2009.htm

    Do you have an opinion on hospital johnnies, or whatever they use in Canada, assuming that patients wear anything.
  3. Danik 2016's Avatar
    I noticed your lack of activity and I am glad you are almost well again. This is about the funniest thing I ever read in this forum.
  4. PeterL's Avatar
    I'm glad you enjoyed it.