Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Yeah. Still semi-stalking my cousin on Facebook. Well, more her sweet baby boy actually but still. We’ve been worried about all of them but particularly the little guy.
If you read the previous one then you’ll know that my cousin had the baby over two weeks overdue and that he had breathing complications. For about a week that was all we knew. Mum called my aunt to find if anything had changed, since the stalking wasn’t giving us anything. In fairness if you’re in fear of the life of your new-born baby the last thing you feel like doing is telling everyone how you feel on Facebook. I would never expect anyone to do that. I mainly checked up every day or sometimes a couple of times in a day in case she put out a message of good news.

So. Mum called my aunt about a week later, as I already said, and at first it was engaged. Turns out my uncle was also calling her for an update. She tried a bit later and got through, my aunt had pretty much just hung up on my uncle.

So the news at the time was a bit more detailed on what had happened to begin with. It wasn’t just breathing problems. The little guy was also having seizures after a difficult birth. He had to be rushed off right away so my cousin didn’t even get to hold him. He’s been in an incubator for the first week or so of his life. Also, my cousin was feeling upset because first contact with the new born is very important and reading all the crap online didn’t really make her feel any better.

In my personal opinion, yeah. It’s very important. But more for mother than baby, so that she can bond with the child right away. If you see these studies and documentaries about babies and see one, even at a couple of months, the way they see and feel the world isn’t what you think. Even though they may hear you, they cannot comprehend you at all. I get the distinct feeling that their sense of touch barely exists. And also, no matter how their birth goes, and what you do with them straight after, it’s still terrifying. You can barely hear, see or feel and you suddenly come out into a loud, cold and blindingly bright place with no understanding of why or what is happening around you. It’s traumatic. And yes. Hearing the familiar voice of your mother must help a little but you have no understanding of anything that is happening.

Also, speaking from a little experience, just a little, regardless of when you hold a much awaited baby, the first hold is special no matter when it is. About five years ago I held the first new baby in our family for a generation. My adorable third cousin Chi. He always feels special to me because, even though I am not a close family member, and he was a few months old when I first met him, he’s the first baby I’ve ever held in my arms. I’ve never had a baby myself, so I don’t get that nostalgic rush that mothers have, but I felt completely in awe of this tiny creature and an instant love. This tiny, adorable, smushy, weak creature was precious and the most special thing to ever exist. And like I said. I’m only his third cousin. His grandfather is my eldest cousin.

So. Even though the new baby started off with problems, I feel that it didn’t matter at all when my cousin first got to hold her baby boy. I know she’s loves the little guy So the first hold would still be special, more so even, since he’d been in a plastic box for a week or so.
I thought of trying to broach the subject and this sentiment with some kind of message on Facebook but felt it would be inappropriate to just blurt out hey I’ve heard from your mum and I know you’re worried about this and even though I’ve never had children and can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through I still decided to type up a message on a screen to give you my opinion with absolutely no expression at all because words on a screen are hollow even if you try to explain the sentiment you are trying to express.

Yeah. That would’ve gone down a treat.

Anyway. He had to be transferred to a specialist unit at another hospital for more specialist care. My cousin had to remain close by, mainly to produce milk for the child. At least if he could have milk then that sounded promising. As they weren’t local and needed to be near the hospital, they stayed in accommodation provided by a nice charity that provides housing near to the hospital for family. That’s lovely.
Also, my aunt told us that the little guy’s name is Simon. How cute is that.
And that was pretty much it. Mum started to mention that we had gone a little crazy shopping for the little guy but she started getting choked up and had trouble speaking. I don’t think it was any one part but more the whole story regarding the little guy so far. So, as I was in the room, but had only heard snippets of the conversation, mum made me take the phone, quickly.
Unfortunately, not knowing if something sad had been said or if it was appropriate to sound cheerful I had little to nothing to say. Should I explain that mum’s about to cry? But if she wanted that known she wouldn’t have thrust the phone at me. What the heck do I do? All I ended up with was hello. Awkward pauses and I just wanted to say hello. I don’t know if she thought we’d gone crazy or if I’d just rudely snatched the phone to say hi. I don’t think she’d think that badly of me but I did wonder. Failing to start or continue any conversation, I had to give the phone back to mum. She was almost back to normal at that point so she managed to hold it together.
Another phone conversation a couple of days ago has explained that situation.

A day or so after that phone call my cousin posted some pictures on Facebook and a little information on the kid. Which resulted in me posting my first Facebook comment in something like six years.
She had a couple of pictures of the little guy and two of her holding him. We (mum and me) were so happy. She finally got to hold him. So HAPPY!

Now then. An update on the little guy.
Mum spoke to my aunt again over the weekend. We posted the package of things we got for the baby. It would’ve been sooner but I picked out a few things that were for one month olds and the kid would be too old for those soon. Mum always gets bigger sizes so the child can grow into them. I’ll try to remember that next time. In fairness I’ve only picked out things for two babies before and that was about five years ago now. So I had the idea of putting off posting the things when we originally planned because we’d be shopping again in a day or so and we could exchange the smaller things for bigger ones.

So. While there we, mainly me, kind of got sucked into cuteness again. I would have loved to get him a little toy lion and the unicorn I believe I mentioned last time but, like I said before, they’re for three year olds, so he can’t have them. Instead of the baby clothing section, mum browsed the baby section (slightly different sections, we didn’t think to look there the first time) and found something adorable. You remember the item I called a snuggie? Sort of teddy bear security blanket kind of thing. She found something even cuter than the bear one we got the week before. The problem with it was that it’s blue. I mentioned before that my cousin objects to the gender stereotyping.
She found some Winnie the Pooh ones. Tigger and Eeyore and asked me which would suit. I think either Tigger or Piglet used to be my favourite but now It’s Eeyore, same as mum. But I think my cousin might be more of a Tigger person, so we got that for the little guy. Also, I kind of convinced mum to get another cute little outfit. At these times I’m kind of like that tempting devil in the ear. A little outfit, and then some little shoes. If she’d let me, I’d have gotten him socks too.
Like I believe I said before, maybe I didn’t. But, especially after what’s happened to him already, the little guy deserves some spoiling.

Remember mum wanted to get him a bear? She had to order the bear that she wanted online. She sent it directly to their house. It arrived a few days ago and my cousin’s thrilled with it. The little guy has now been transferred back to his local hospital and should be ready to leave. But he’s staying in a bit longer so my cousin can get to grips with feeding him. To be fair, if the little guy’s had milk already, it had to he expressed for him. Hopefully it’ll work out. At least, as far as I know, she’s been able to provide milk.

A sidestep here. Me. I was a bottle baby, but not for lack of trying. Mum tells me that she struggled to feed me but it was tricky. Even if baby struggles to latch on, you can at least extract some milk and try bottle feeding it to the baby, you might think. Well. Yes and no. Not if anything you pump out brings blood too. Despite how pale I might be, I’m not a vampire. That made mum sad because she really wanted to feed me herself but, alas, the sacred boob juice was beyond us. So I was a bottle baby all the way. Apparently my aunt had a similar problem with her children. So, hopefully, that family curse has not afflicted my cousin and she can nurse the little guy like a true mammal…..From the mammary glands from which the mammals are named. But. If she can’t, it’s not that big of a deal. I just think it would be very nice if she could succeed in this goal for the bonding if nothing else, since she was worried before about not being able to hold him.

In short. The little guy’s improving, basically. Keep it up kid. I still want to meet you in person. I’m going to spoil the heck out of you.

Bluebiird out.