Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

But you never think it's happened in your family.

This concerns Napoleon's (my father) side of the family. So when I reference uncles and such it's the alive one and the dead one from his side, not the one on mum's side who annoys me now and then.

So. I'm going about my business as normal when Napoleon calls. He has something to say but he wants to talk with mum about it first. Now I'm thinking 'Oh crud, it's something evil' (and by evil I mean him trying to find me employment or something like that).

Now, mum's off work for the week because her leg's been hurting. It's her varicose veins. She's had them for at least ten years or so, she's very over weight and she's over sixty now. So makes sense they'd be worse. She went up to bed to rest her leg.

Napoleon called my mobile so I just unplugged it and took it up to her. I did warn him not to talk too long because my phone gets really hot but he never listens, but given the subject I'll forgive him this once, even though he talks too much about the same thing several times over.

The bare bones of it is all we know.

Napoleon had two brothers. The younger one who is still alive and the older one who died of lung cancer. The older dead one had a different, and unknown, father to Napoleon and the younger one. But they all came from the same mother. And Napoleon's father died when he was little (which might partly explain why he himself is a sucky father).
I know little of my grandmother. I know that she had bad eyesight, which helped to result in bad cooking. I also know that she had a nervous breakdown at some point in her life. And that her living accommodations were far from ideal and Napoleon and his younger brother went into a home for a while. All that I know is just what I have been told because she died when I was very young.

So. Things have arisen.

A woman has written to my dead uncle's widow claiming to be his sister. Apparently all she had was an old address and somehow had been passed on until she got to that point. I don't know if she knows that the man she claims is her brother is dead or not.

Napoleon called because he wanted to know if mum knew anything. Not really sure why he'd think that. We don't really have contact with his family. He thought she might have heard something at some point.

He's going to Canada again next week for a couple of weeks so whatever he wants to do about it he'll do it then. He said something ridiculous to mum. He said that he was getting a bit old to be travelling to Canada so probably wouldn't go again, maybe he'd go somewhere closer to home, like Spain.......

You probably need a little context to know why this is **** yourself funny.
Mum's family used to travel quite a bit. They went on a lot of cruises and things. When they got married mum wanted to continue this. But Napoleon is and always was a pretty stuffy old git, even back when they got married, when she was twenty five and he was twenty eight. He didn't want to go abroad (ironically to places like Spain) because he didn't like the climate and particularly didn't like the food. He's a very fussy eater with limited taste.
This is a man who will put tap water in cereal instead of milk. Boils vegetables until they lose all flavour and one time, when he had to come over babysit me during my mid teens because mum would be home very late (not quite sure why. I was old enough to fend for myself, at least for one night) managed to ruin a perfectly simple frozen meal that, until that point in time, I had very much liked.
So. Because of his refusal to go abroad mum had to stop going and, unfortunately, I've inherited more from him than I'd like. I'm a terribly fussy eater, I've never been abroad in my life and I've developed a feeling that it would be polite to speak and/or at least have a basic understanding of the native language. This feeling is mainly because of the number of people in my area who don't speak English as a first, second or even third language or not even at all. It just feels kind of rude.

Back to Napoleon. The man's so frustrating. He says one thing. Then turns around a few minutes, hours, months, years later and says the exact opposite and then acts like we're the idiots for bringing up his previous objections. Annoyingly I also seem to have picked up that flip-flop trait of his too.

And back to the family mystery again.
Now. There's no guarantee that this woman really is related to us. Maybe it's a con. Maybe she's confused about her details. Maybe she is genuine. We'll have to wait and see.
It seems that she's younger than my dead uncle by a year and a bit and my grandmother had her adopted. It's not like it's impossible. You hear about these kinds of stories but you never think it's happened in your family. Also, is seems that she lives in an area near to where I used to go to school. Weird.

Also. As an afterthought, Napoleon suddenly tells me that he has two half sisters, by his father, both of whom neither he nor his brother are in contact with. It's not that they're being mean or anything, it's just that they've never bothered with each other he tells me. I have other aunties besides the ones on mum's side? Sugoi!
I wonder if that's why he's not to good with women. Well. I say that. From what I've seen he's not. He doesn't know how to treat me. I'm surprised mum even married him. He never speaks to his aunt, he always gets us to do it. Quite a long time ago, when I was in my early to mid teens it was her 70th birthday. He didn't go but we did.
When my uncle died from the lung cancer we had to go and tell her because, for some reason, he wouldn't (he claimed it was because we were nearer). She wasn't in when we visited but mum left her a note and she called, they had a long chat.

Mum tells him to talk to her about the mysterious sister because she was his mother's sister, so if anyone would know surely she would. He's told mum to do it. I wonder what is with him?

Apparently, at the funeral, he heard someone asking if they should tell them about the sister. He thought they meant his two half sisters that he knew about, not my dead uncle's sister that he didn't know about.

All I can say in regards to this whole thing is undoubtedly;


Families are strange.




In other news.
I just had to change the light bulb in my bedroom. It took more effort than it should have.
I'm planning to make burgers this week and some kind of meat and pickle pie.
Trying lactose free milk this week because I feel a little sick if I drink too much milk and I wonder if I've become lactose intolerant, because I have a lot of it in my diet. Milk on cereal. Cheese. Ice cream. Yoghurty things. Milk chocolate.
Still working on my blanket.
Novel is still stalled.
Princess Project is stalled.
Mad Scientist Project had a tiny spurt but is now stalled.
Juggling is stalled.
Exercise routine is stalled (I don't do it when mum's home. It's embarrassing for me.)

Also. I found my Snail card. Mum had a little sort through in her room and unearthed it, then I dug it out.
When I was about 7-8 we were studying abstract art and one of the things we learnt about was The Snail by Matisse and I just fell in love with it. Not sure why. It's just kind of lovely. You know I've always liked snails and I liked them very much then. Then we had a school trip to the Tate where it's displayed and it was amazing. As a memento I bought a little picture card of it from the gift shop, and two others I can't really remember.
I can't remember when it was. The card was printed in 1996 so I think between then and 1998 would be the kind of time I got it.

So. Since I've finally found it again I've finally put it up in my room. It's nice to have it up on my wall.


Bluebiird out.