Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

I feel like a human pincushion. Well. Felt like one. Now I'm an achy former human pin cushion.
I had a blood test today.
I wrote about going to the doctor and stuff a couple of weeks ago but decided to remove it. I'm not going to rewrite it. Yesterday I saw a female doctor. Turns out I didn't need to go to all that trouble since she just referred me for blood tests to start with, mainly to make sure my thyroid function is okay, because if it weren't it could indicate polycystic ovaries. But also a general test too. So I may as well have gone to see the male doctor and it wouldn't have mattered. How was I to know?

Apparently they have a blood clinic or something or other but it was all booked up for the next two weeks anyway. I said couldn't I just go to the hospital (I won't tell you which one, that's no fun) and that was the best option for both parties. I've been there before, quite a few years ago, for a blood test. That was back when I was at school and worried that I was diabetic or something and the nurse thought I was anaemic so referred me for a blood test. I'm not. I'm just very pale.

I double checked everything online. It's been extensively remodelled since I last went. Mum was there for a blood test last year or so and she told me about the huge upgrade, so I was a little prepared for it. I also saw the front of it on the website. Very swish.

Mum didn't have work today so she drove me. We had a little to do with the ticket machine in the car park. To be honest, at reception it felt more like an airport than a hospital. The big, shiny, open space with signs everywhere and people going about their business.

We followed the signs for the GP referral and anti-coagulant clinic. When we got to the right building, after a short trek across the hospital, the first thing we saw was the window for the anti-coagulant so we avoided that and came across the GP blood test waiting room. A sign said to take a ticket and wait. Mum didn't see it but I did so I got my ticket. While we were waiting two people didn't pay attention to the sign. One woman had come in just before us and was unsure what to do, but asked if she was supposed to get a ticket when she saw me get one. So I told her she did. Feeling generous I offered her mine, as she was there before me. I guess she thought that was strange. She politely declined and got the number after mine. While we were waiting a woman walked right in, hesitated a bit and strolled fight into room. I will now call it the extraction room for fun. She came out shortly after looking a little sheepish and got a ticket. I really don't get why people didn't read the sign. It was easy to see when you came to the waiting room and it's pretty obvious what you're supposed to do.

I was wondering where I remembered seeing those ticket dispensers before. They were a permanent fixture somewhere in my youth. While we were waiting I asked mum. They used to have them at the meat counter in supermarkets.

When it was my turn I had Phantom of the Opera playing (I had my ipod). It's a very soothing, musical version.
The guy was kind of quirky, but not strange like me. Last time I had a blood test I turned away just in case. Normally I'm okay with needles (mum really isn't) and I'm pretty good with gory stuff, when I know it's fake, but I was worried about how I'd react seeing a needle actually sticking out of my own flesh. Although professional, the nurse was rather patronising. I know she didn't mean to be. She was just trying to be soothing but she bugged me.

So this time around I'd already decided that I was going to sneak a peek at the needle in my arm. I warned the guy that I've been told I have deep veins that are hard to find. I'm not sure if he believed me or, at least, fully understood what that would mean but he soon found out.

He tried my left arm first, of course. I didn't watch it go in but I did look once the needle was in my arm. Not as creepy as I thought it would be. It almost didn't look real because there wasn't any blood around it, well, it wouldn't until you take the needle out but anyway. I actually spent a while wondering if the "sharp scratch" of the needle is anything like a bee sting. I try to avoid stinging insects for fear of being stung ever since I was a child so I wouldn't know.

He had trouble finding my vein. He claimed that it kept moving. "Like a fish". I was fine but a little tense so putting a crazy image like that in my head, although kind of funny, was not exactly helpful. I told you he was kind of quirky. Having drawn only a little dribble from my left arm he taped over the cotton ball then asked for my right arm. I was like "really?" and he was like "Yup". So. Right arm. I decided to restart Phantom of the Opera since it was almost finished and, as I had it on shuffle, I wasn't sure what the next song would be (it was Gory Demise by Creature Feature. Probably a good thing I didn't listen to that, because one of the people in the song died from having bled and bled. The song lists a year's obituaries to catchy music and a name starting with each letter of the alphabet is sung and then how they died).

He got enough blood from my right and taped my right arm. He said I'd have to keep the taped cotton balls on both arms for ten minutes so I set my stop watch. Of the people she saw come and go, mum found it funny that I was the only one with both arms done. They both stung quite a bit. If it had just been one arm it wouldn't have been such a problem but since it was both it's been quite uncomfortable. Also, since I'm right handed I don't think it helps to have had my right arm stabbed. But needs must.
We got shopping done after, just to get it out of the way.

Now my arms ache. The left arm is a little more bruised but the right arm aches.

I should get the results in two weeks.

Bluebiird out.