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Halls of the Dark Muse

Dear Society,

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Just a bit of fun

Dear Society,

Please,
you really must stop knocking upon the door,
you know I will not answer any more,
and if you attempt to ring the bell one more time,
I will disconnect it all.
I don't want your pamphlets,
or even your insinuating advice
on how to live a better life
according to the status quo
which you have set.

Now I insist
you must stop tying to phone,
I screen my calls you know,
and I am not the least bit inclined
not even a tad curious
to pick up when I know you are
at the other end of the line,
I don't care about So & So's wedding,
nor do I want to know what Mr. & Mrs. Jones are wearing,
you must know I delete all your messages
without thinking twice.

Oh,
now this is just becoming embarrassing,
I bid you to stop your infernal emailing,
surely you must realize it all goes straight to spam,
it really doesn't matter how many attempts you make
to alter your addresses, your subject lines
all give you away, so very insufferably predicable,
not the least bit original.

You cannot be so oblivious
to think after all this time
we can still be friends,
I won't play nice (in fact I promise you I bite)
and pretend to be your BFF,
I will not even stoop to be your Frenemy,
so I implore you stop sending me invites,
for I will never RSVP (though I would be happy to engrave your RIP).

I hope we are finally clear,
and you see I will never
accept your lobotomy,
I won't take your happy pills,
I will not dress myself in your colors,
(whichever ones you have decided are the proper ones to wear this year)
I won't bow down to one of your shinning, fragile, comatose false idols,
I have nothing further to say to you.
Categories
My Poetry

Comments

  1. stephofthenight's Avatar
    How I missed your wit while I was away .
  2. Dark Muse's Avatar
    Hehe, thank you
  3. MANICHAEAN's Avatar
    Hi Dark Muse
    Since returning to the UK I've been getting calls on the house phone every afternoon, with someone trying to sell me either; double glazing, a new kitchen, solar panels etc. At first I found it irritating, then decided to go on the attack. As a consequence, once established as a cold call, I assume the role of a senile old man and keep them going for ages, rambling on and on about; my pension, meals on wheels or tales of the Second World War. Great fun and they are paying the bill. Religious callers at the door require more intense acting ability, but if in the mood, I endeavour to convert them instead of the other way round with whatever diametrically opposed quotes from the Good Book that I can muster.
  4. Dark Muse's Avatar
    Haha that is hilarious