11:01 am 1/19/2013
by
, 01-19-2013 at 03:39 AM (1698 Views)
It's been awhile since I posted anything and now that I want to post I don't know what to talk about. let me start by saying that I have only 3 semesters left and by every single minute passing I'm getting more and more worried about what to do with the rest of my life, I mean i have alot of ideas and wishes and dreams but I'm not sure that I can make them come true. Creating something out of nothing takes courage and bravery, things that I am not capable of, I can't even stand up to my own parents, or give a speech in front of an audience. I sometimes still shiver when I when I want to talk to my professors. I don't know where that comes from, but I'm guessing that it's never going to go away. Every time I want to let go and just have fun, something inside me says :"No! you can't!" Maybe it's pride or concience or maybe both. Alot of the people around me tell me I'm scary and intimitating. I have a good laugh at that cause that's not really my intention to frighten people. I am very self-protective. But that's just who I am and it's my personality not a quality to scare people!
Ok, another subject. I've been trying to get some work done for this paper that we're going to publish, but I get distracted by all of the fun stuff I want to do, like knitting or painting or going to the park with my mom or going to a resturant with my friends, or even reading other books. I can't get anything done. This is totally me. I can never finish anything. That's the worst aspect of me. incompleteness. Is that even a word?
I have one more week before my 7th term and I'm so tired. I wanna lie in the grass out side and just relax without worrying about tommorrow but that's never going to happen.