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being a proud jerk

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by
Helga
, 06-25-2012 at 12:44 PM (384 Views)
I hate how my pride often gets in the way. Today I heard my brother was going to the movies with his son to see 'Madagascar' and I wanted to see that movie with my boy so I called him and asked if we could come along since I don't have a car. They had big plans around this trip to the movie and there wasn't room in the car for us. I was so incredibly hurt that I just wanted to cry and not see them for a while. There is a small barbecue at my moms house after the movie and I didn't want to go cause I was upset. Then I picked up my son and it turned out he went with his dad to see this movie yesterday. I was still to hurt and proud I didn't want to go to my moms house. WHY!!

Sometimes I think I am just a jerk and this not letting other peoples action influence me cause they are not trying to hurt me, it doesn't always work. I still don't want to go to my moms house but I am going to because I don't want my pride to win also when my big fat pride wins I feel terrible all day and don't want to do anything and am just in a bad mood.

pride is annoying and I sometimes just want to push it down and let it die.

Another thing, before I go, my friend is very persistent on me meeting her boyfriends brother. I think I have made a list of a man that doesn't exist and I am not sure I'll give anyone a fair chance. I want a vegetarian who is a sci-fi geek and big reader with at least one kid and similar taste in music.

Is that to much to ask???!!!

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Comments

  1. qimissung's Avatar
    I go through the same things often, emotionally, that you're describing, Helga. I'm proud of you for going on to your mom's barbeque.

    Now, as far as that guy goes, you just never know. You have a list, but it's been my, albeit limited, experience, that our hearts don't know about the list. Why don't you just go, and experience him as another unique being in the universe it's your good fortune to meet? In other words, go, have a good time, don't think about the future.
  2. WoodlanderGirl's Avatar
    I understand being upset about the actions of your family. I have a large family and am always getting upset. I am different than them and because of that I get left out. Recently, my family went on a 1 day trip and not only did they leave me behind, they didn't even tell me, and I live with them. Just put it behind you. You have to get over these things and not let it ruin your mother's BBQ.
    As for your child's father taking him to see the movie, you should take a good hard look at what a good dad your child has. Be glad that his father does things with him, lots of father's wouldn't take their kids to the movies. Take him to see something else! I just took two of my family members (boys) to see Brave and they loved it.
  3. Virgil's Avatar
    I'm sorry for your hurt Helga. I hope this is consolation for you, but I think you're one heck of a great mother.