day in a life

My son was sick today so we stayed at home, the days are soooo long when you are up at seven and inside all day. We read a bit and watched some tv. And played of course.

I never remember what I write about and what I talk about but I am gonna put a thought down here that has been a whole lot on my mind but can't figure out. First I think this place has a great influence on me and probably many others that come here. Thinking about some threads we have like the intimacy thread give points on life and people in general. I think intimacy is a very difficult thing, I don't want to open up about my feelings but I will answer any question people ask. Maybe that is a defense thing or maybe it's me trying to get intimacy with someone, anyone and that brings me to my thoughts. I think I say and think way to often that it's great to be alone. Don't get me wrong I do like being alone, but I also hate it. I say it so often I think I am trying to convince myself of it.

I went to a cafe with my friend a few days ago and we sat outside, she went in to get her coffee and I watched the people sitting nearby and walking past me and I wondered if they are as confused as I am or if they know what they want. I wonder about the clothes they wear and if they are trying to represent a style or feelings or staying in style. I wonder what they think when they see me.

I like my life but I'm still trying to find the yellow road to lead me home.