Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Blue's blogs are too long. She wrote one but she digressed and it got too long that made her a little depressed. So. A shorter, simpler one.

29th March. Blue's birthday. She received 5 birthday cards. She finds it odd. Cards came from; Napoleon's brother, Napoleon's sister in-law (dead brother's widow) , Napoleon, Mum, Mum's friend from work.
In comparison Napoleon's birthday, 21st March, yielded 3 birthday cards (sent to this address); Napoleon's brother, napoleon's sister in-law (dead brother's widow), Mum's sister and also one from Mum and Blue.

Do you see the difference?

Blue wonders why her aunt (mother's sister) would send a birthday card to Napoleon, an in-law she hadn't seen for years until 2 funerals came along, rather than to her own blood related niece who she has seen at least once a year for quite some time now, just a week later.

Blue does not really mind this too much. What aunt does is aunt's business. But Blue does feel a little saddened that she's been forgotten my her mother's family (the family she sees more often than Napoleon's family.) Incidentally mother's brother was on an old people's cruise somewhere, although we still sent him a birthday card. Belated birthday cards are also accepted in our family but none of those either.

A few weeks ago family gathered for Easter.. Blue wondered if it might be mentioned then. It wasn't. However uncle's birthday (a few weeks prior to Blue's was).

Blue feels the need to point out that Blue's family seem to like making babies over the spring and summer months since many birthdays fall over the winter and spring months.

For Blue's birthday mother took the whole day off work. Not half a day. The whole day. Blue is astonished. For mother to take a whole day off for such a trivial thing as Blue's birthday. Such a thing does not happen. Sometimes Blue's birthday coincides with a weekend, bank holiday and/or Easter holiday (depending on the calendar. Easter shifts every year like Chinese New Year) So sometimes Blue has spent birthday with mother but that was because mother couldn't work that day anyway. Not because mother chose not to. Incidentally mother takes days off now and then to go out with work friends to see a play or something. Mother has very little social life. Such occurrence comes once in a blue moon.

Since Blue had been thinking for quite some time that mother never spent enough time with Blue over the years (taking all your holiday at the end of the year because it built up and you don't want to waste it does not count because it seems as if time off was an obligation and Blue gets sick of mother hanging around too much at that time) Blue did not want to waste such an opportunity. (incidentally this is where Blue digressed too far last time and gave up.)

Mother had no plan for the day and no presents for Blue either. Blue did not mind this. Blue had expected as much since mother is now paying majority of household bills and Blue is now a 24 year old freeloader. To be honest Blue has been wanting to get out of the house anyway but had nowhere in mind nor any inclination to go anywhere.

Blue thinks Camden Market might be fun. Mother and Blue went there once before. Blue bought some cute paper balloon fish that sit above Blue's bed. Blue sees them every morning. Blue also bought some L (from Deathnote) tshirts there last time too.

Blue has nothing in mind to buy but knows there's always something interesting and that whether they buy anything or not it will be an experience.

They go. Aimlessly walk around looking at interesting things. Blue maybe gives off an aura of being depressed but is not and tries to explain that she just doesn't want to talk much and doesn't feel like being lively but she's not unhappy. Also Blue tries not to look at vendors or merchandise for too long because she doesn't want to give the vendors false hope that she will buy anything.

Many shops and stalls sell the same merchandise. Makes sense. When something's hot (she means in fashion, not stolen) it makes sense to cash in as much as possible. The in thing at the moment was delightfully interesting pocket watch pendants of various sizes. All different sizes and styles. Some with an antique look, some with a steampunk look. Blue thinks they're quite cool. Blue has always liked pocket watches and after a long time Blue finally owns one (a Fullmetal Alchemist cosplay one (it stopped working but got a new battery so it's working again now, Blue was so happy it worked again)).
At one point mother and Blue were nearly deafened buy a crazy place called Cyberdog. Although loud (Blue could never work there without earplugs) it was quite interesting. Kind of futuristic sci-fi stuff. (Blue is shamelessly promoting a store she bought nothing in . Maybe because Blue has always been a sci-fi fan but just not to that extent but wants to guide the more hardcore kind of people to it. Also Blue is not into clubbing much either, at all really, but if you like those kinds of things you might like Cyberdog.)

Blue considered buying cool tshirts (not necessarily just anime ones, there are also dragons, fairies and assorted animal tshirts she could've bought) but Blue was not in the mood to buy clothes.

Blue began looking at rings after she remembered wanting to by a Chinese dragon ring for Chinese New Year (the year of the dragon has always been Blue's year. It's the year that both she and mother were born.) but such a thing as Blue was thinking of doesn't seem to exist (that kind of design is usually reserved for big chunky men's rings and while Blue is not the kind to wear thin, dainty, girly rings Blue does have her limits.) Blue thought that if she was likely to find such a thing as she imagined that would be a good place to find it. Alas no luck.

Blue came to pause at a shop selling Totoro themed items. This is relevant because for Christmas Mother bought Blue some Totoro themed items and Blue supposes that this is the place they were bought. Somehow Blue and mother are compelled to look inside. Layout of shop is somehow inviting. Blue decides to buy one of the things she's been thinking of since they got here. Pocket watch pendants are hanging from the ceiling and Blue and mother spend a long time looking at interesting ones and trying to find one that Blue would like. In the end Blue buys two. A little gun metal coloured one with a spider web pattern and one shaped like the Deathnote notebook (this is mainly because Blue is wearing one of her L from Deathnote tshirts) Mother also decided to buy herself one too. It's the same size as blue's spider web one but with an antique gold effect and a floral design in little gems. Items are quite cheaply priced so mother buys them as Blue's birthday present. Blue is very happy.

That concludes Blue's birthday. Blue will skim over Easter since entry is still too long.

A few weeks ago family gathered at aunts for Easter. Blue was depressed because Aunt would not let them take Yuki. Reason being that aunt has little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Rosie who would be frightened if Yuki came. Last year Rosie was frightened of Yuki to the point she growled. Rosie spent all evening being cradled on Aunts lap. Yuki did nothing to Rosie. Yuki was excited to see another dog. Yuki only followed her around to sniff her. New place, new people, new dog. Lots of food. Yuki was just excited. This was not long after Yuki became Mother and Blue's dog so they were still getting used to each other as it was. When initial excitement was over Yuki calmed down. (incidentally. Yuki has an epic begging face and will even rest her head on your lap to beg. She is very in your face when begging. Because Rosie is so small, Rosie can't do this. But because Rosie is so small Rosie has a epic baby face for begging.)

Blue was very angry that Yuki could not come just because little princess Rosie would be frightened. All small dogs are intimidated by Yuki. Rosie is not special. But Yuki is never aggressive to small dogs. Yuki is very well trained (she came that way, Blue did not train her to be well behaved) Rosie is not trained at all. Rosie can't even sit on command or even respond to her name. Rosie is a similar age to Yuki but is spoiled because she is small and cute. The only time Rosie is ever expected to sit or behave well is when Blue visits. Blue will make Rosie work for treats. Blue did this even before Blue had a dog of her own. She also did it with cousin's pugs a few years ago. They are all poorly trained. This annoys Blue.

Between 2-4 people live at aunt's house at a time. Blue finds it ridiculous that none of them can be bothered to train Rosie. Even when Blue is alone with Yuki Blue still gets her to do tricks on command so Yuki does not get rusty.

Yuki does Sit. Up (which is to sit up like beg but Blue felt beg was demeaning). Lie Down (With Yuki we pronounce it lie, not lay, that's just how it worked out. Blue tries to always be clear and concise with instructions ). Paw (It's paw and not shake). Often we also try Other Paw (shake with paw that is not the same as last time). Blue also taught Yuki Parade (this is basically Paw then Other Paw, Paw, Other Paw without shaking, it's more like Wave really. Blue will not teach Yuki Wave since it might get confusing).

Blue has digressed.

Since Blue was angry that Yuki couldn't go Blue considered staying with Yuki like at Christmas. But Yuki was in season at the time and Blue was torn. With Yuki in season we might not have taken her anyway. But season does crazy things to dogs (dogs in general, not dogs as oppose to *****es). Blue has heard horror stories of *****es in heat escaping to find males. What if Yuki did manage to break out? What if Yuki jumped through a window and was bleeding to death while we were away? Don't be crazy. We'd lock the house up tight and she'd be well away from any windows she could actually break out of (front door and kitchen door have fire glass instead of plain windows and kitchen has doggy gate on anyway since Yuki kept breaking into kitchen to eat bird food and rubbish). What if she got lonely and was howling for us?

i couldn't come to a decision so I decided to ignore it until the time and decided to finish off my rainbow piano themed scarf I started for the winter. No. I didn't finish it for Christmas, or even winter. I thought I wouldn't start it again until next year since it got warmer, but suddenly it got colder again, as if it was some kind of sign. I decided to finish the scarf before the appointed Easter gathering. I did it. This made me really happy so in the end I did go. I was depressed and worried about the dog while I was there, to the point that it was actually noticed but it was all fine in the end.

At the time I wasn't as angry or depressed as I had been previously. I was just in a kind of unhappy state where I didn't feel like trying to make conversation. I wanted to snap Rosie's tiny neck. Her head's the size of an apple. A little apple. I did wonder if it was physically possible to crush it bare handed. I eventually warmed to Rosie again when we were alone in the kitchen and she was begging me for cheese. She stood up and danced around for it. It's cruel. I liked making her dance for tiny scraps. The thing can't even sit but at least it can dance around for a shaving of cheese. Yuki can't dance because she's too big so Rosie was pathetically cute. So I started training her to sit like usual. By the way. I wasn't giving her tiny scraps to be mean. I was giving her tiny scraps so that I could feed her more of them. I shave off paper thin pieces of cheese to give her. That way she doesn't have too much cheese if I give her 10 or 20 pieces. Because Rosie's so small these tiny pieces are perfect for training her. Because Yuki's so big I would never even think of giving her such a tiny thing.

It was quite dull at my aunts. We were short a few people. One of my cousins is touring Australia with her boyfriend. My eldest cousin's children rarely come. He came with his eldest son who sat in the other room the whole time watching the golf (what a boring sport) the other son was at home with the dogs and who knows where the daughter was (she's the mother of Chi and Usa who also weren't there. My niece is already a year old and I've never met her, though my cousin did show us some pictures of them in the bath on his phone, in exchange I showed him some of Yuki's funny pictures on my phone) .

On the subject of Chi, Usa and their immediate family, my cousin's daughter is regretting her choice of baby father (I don't like that term much but since they had no solid commitment and since I've never met the father that's the best thing to call him) He's a jobless lay about (haha. Sound like anyone you know) who dumps the children on her parents when he can't be bothered. My cousin's wife (the babies grandmother) is trying to work out a set day or two where she has the babies and is willing to move her work around for it. While this is going on the babies' mother is now studying to become a midwife. Not an unworthy profession, since she previously trained as a florist and that resulted in nothing. You seem to find that young women at an impressionable age where they're considering job prospects will become midwives when they have a baby, perhaps because they admire those who helped them to have their babies. Like I said. A worthwhile profession, I'm not faulting it. Though it does mean she'll be deemed more worthwhile than me for such a worthwhile profession. Even if I do publish my novel, writing isn't such a tangible profession as delivering babies now it is?

However. It's not good to measure your worth by other people so lets not go into that.

Although I am pretty invisible to my family. Even though I played around with it a lot while I was thinking, nobody noticed my watch pendant that I wore. No one asked how my birthday was or even so much as mentioned it. They only briefly asked how I was and if I was alright (like I said, my not unhappy yet not happy not feeling so talkative mood was noticed, maybe they were intimidated perhaps) and anything I did say was barely listened too. I was quite surprised when my aunt handed me an Easter egg "so I wouldn't feel left out". Out of what exactly? I think it was actually a bribe to cheer me up like a child. I accepted it to be polite. To be honest (besides that bribery bunny (it was a chocolate bunny)) I didn't get any Easter eggs this year, not from mum or Napoleon but oddly enough I was kind of happy about that. I've been thinking that I'm too old for Easter eggs now, like I'm too old for advent calendars (that's why I didn't do my usual advent calendar report every day last year or so. I stopped getting advent calendars).

When it was time to leave and I put on my newly made (finished just the night before in fact and pressed that morning) rainbow piano themed scarf it went unnoticed. I stopped letting it bother me by this point. Besides, even if they didn't notice it at least I know that this is a really cool scarf.

So. Yeah. That's all I've been putting off writing. I changed my narration towards the end though. Seems I'm not good at continuity. So much for tiring to keep it short too. Eh. You're used to it by now. And if you don't want to read it you won't read it. I won't blame you.

Bluebiird out.

Oh I forgot to say. Before we left for the Easter gathering I left some old clothes lying around that I'd tried to rub my smell onto so Yuki would feel reassured while we were out. She gets quite vocal when she's in season. It's the only time she barks or howls without my pitch pipes as encouragement. The next day, as we came back from shopping our neighbour happened to be outside and asked if we'd gone away that day because she'd heard the dog whining. We apologised for the noise and asked if it'd disturbed her. She said no, it just sounded so sad. Also, she's finally stopped calling me Amanda. A while ago, when mum was going out to walk the dog or coming back from walking the dog she met the neighbour and had occasion to correct her regarding my name. Since I never really see her it seemed impolite for me to correct her whenever she did it before.