Hawkman

As someone, who, when young and in their prime, was blessed with extremely good eyesight, it is most vexing to experience, as a consequence of advancing years, the deterioration in visual acuity that more than half a century of looking at things seems to have engendered. No more crystal clarity and optical precision for Hawky, at least not without glasses. Distance viewing is less problematic for me, although there is an improvement when using mildly corrective lenses, but these days, close work and reading are nearly impossible without optical enhancement. I simply can’t focus on anything nearer than two feet away. Consequently, it has become expedient to seek the services of an optician.

Beguiled by Specsavers’ 'two for one' offer, I sought them out and handed my eyes over to their care. Thus I hoped to obtain both distance and reading glasses at one visit. Now, I should point out that my initial approach to these monkeys was made about 4 years ago and they did their stuff and provided me with satisfactory distance glasses and a pair of reading specs which were less so.

As soon as I put them on I could tell they weren’t right. I could see through them, but the right lens was slightly out of focus. I have to admit that it was mildly better than when looking at something close-up without the supplied spectacles, but wearing them put my eyesight out of balance. While the left eye was crisp and clear, the right felt as though there was a piece of almost transparent gauze taped over it.

Naturally, I pointed this out to them and the response was unequivocal. I was mistaken, wrong, ignorant of the optician’s expertise, simply not used to wearing glasses which were checked against the prescription and found to be correct. I would get used to them. In short, I was brow beaten into accepting glasses which I was positive were not correct for my eyes. Whatever happened to, “the customer is always right”? I would also point out that I was thus abused by some pettifogging minion, not the optician, who wasn’t even consulted!

It just seemed like too much effort to get them to fix, what was at the time, merely a minor irritation. Further delay would have been unacceptable. I was self-employed and my business required that I was able to see. I couldn’t afford to wait a further two or three weeks involving another appointment with the optician and the making of a replacement lens.

In the years since, my eyes have deteriorated, at least my right eye has, and quite markedly. It now has the distinction of producing double vision, something I thought impossible when looking through only one eye. Consequently, I decided to get my eyes checked again; time for new glasses, especially as I have accidentally sat and trodden upon my reading glasses on more than one occasion. The lenses may have survived these indignities but the frames are definitely the worse for wear. I had also elected to dispense with “designer” frames for my reading glasses. They are too narrow and I have a tendency to look underneath them when reading, which means I either have to bend my neck uncomfortably, or hold the book up, for the spectacles to be any use at all.

When I arrived at the opticians’ for my eye test I was at great pains to point out my dissatisfaction with the service I had previously received. I pointed out the deficiencies of my previous pair of reading specks and asked that extra care be taken over the right eye. To be honest, I have to admit that the tests I was given were comprehensive. They even photographed my retinas (obviously some sneaky government scheme to collect biometric information for identification purposes).

The optician dutifully listened to my tale of woe and conducted her tests and informed me that my prescription had changed. I pointed out that it had been wrong in the first place. I’ll give the woman her due though, it was extremely difficult to get the right eye diagnosed correctly. It didn’t seem to matter what lenses she placed in front of it, the vision was always blurred. She checked my cornea for incipient cataracts and discolouration, but it was fine. The left eye she whipped through in no time, as the various lenses were discernibly different in effect. I went away, happy that I had received a good level of service from a competent practitioner, and looked forward to picking up my new specs at the appointed time.

I should have known better.

When I turned up yesterday the distance glasses weren’t ready. Apparently the frames were out of stock. Well this was irritating, but at least I have a useable pair of distance glasses for driving. The reading glasses however, were available, and the new frames looked splendid. I tried them on. The right eye was perfect. Unfortunately the left eye wasn’t.

I pointed this out to the minion, who seemed incapable of understanding that blurred vision in one eye indicated that the prescription was wrong. She waffled at me about binocular vision, apparently without any comprehension that for it to work, both eyes have to see correctly. The patronising attitude made me want to throttle her. Manfully, I restrained myself, repressing the urge to sjambok the idiot within an inch of her life. I did refuse to accept the glasses though. The optician who had examined me wasn’t even in the shop.

I now have another appointment to get re-assessed for next week. However, I have no guarantee that I’ll see the original practitioner.

I can’t help wondering what Specsavers are playing at when they appear to train their staff to ignore customer complaints and argue with them. The whole experience is unpleasant and feels rather impersonal, with a multitude of inexpert shop assistants, passing you from pillar to post while treating you as an idiot. The opticians seem to take their time over you, but in my experience, they are never more than 50% right! Or is it just me? Am I an awkward sod who just doesn’t fit the customer profile? Has anyone else empirical knowledge of Specsavers’ incompetence? I’d love to know.