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Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

I Should Be Allowed To Shoot Trespassers

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by
Bluebiird
, 02-26-2012 at 01:57 PM (1002 Views)
A follow up on my last entry. That fellow from the other day who broke our wall. Turns out that guy was a thief. The house two doors down was robbed and the two felons (though I was only in time to see one) escaped with a laptop (that's all we've heard that they took). Our neighbour's lodger apparently saw the criminals escaping by jumping into his garden so he shouted out to them and they jumped into ours before he could catch them. There. Conclusive proof that the thieving scum were in our garden after all. That's kind of scary but at least I know I'm not crazy now and that the footprint was real.

My faith in the poor maintenance of our garden has been restored. Were someone slowly sneaking through then I'd be more worried but the idea that the criminals were panicked and desperate to escape makes the idea of them falling into the mass of thorns from our overgrown blackberry plants much more enjoyable. My garden isn't the kind of garden you break into casually. And by so much as glancing in through the window the thought of robbing us is surely gone in a moment. (We're terribly poor housekeepers and although small valuable items that are easy to grab and sell are somewhat dotted about the place they're mixed in with assorted junk).

Based on that I think the title of my previous entry is null and void. I should be allowed to shoot trespassers (with a paintball gun).

I love the idea of having weapons for defensive purposes but I'd hate the idea of wounding or killing anyone and I lack the skills or training to be confident in using them. That's why I love having the wooden cosplay sword from the expo. It's sturdy enough that I could club someone over the head and maybe fracture a bone or two without decapitating them.

That's also why I think a paintball gun would be good. I hear that being shot with one of those hurts and can bruise. A bruise would be just as useful for identifying the criminal as the paint splattered clothing.

Also, another reason for favouring these mock weapons over real ones is that they can't be used against me easily. They say that if you carry a knife chances are that in a fight your own knife will be used against you. If you're stabbed you could die. If you're shot you could die. If you're hit with a wooden sword or shot with a paintball it's going to hurt but it has less chance of killing you (I say less because you never know, the attacker might get lucky and hit a vital spot).

Ah. I can't remember if I was going to say anything else. Ah well.

Bluebiird out.

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Updated 02-26-2012 at 01:59 PM by Bluebiird (Scum is less frowned upon than what I put)

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Comments

  1. Virgil's Avatar
    If he's thieving, I think you should be allowed to shoot the scum with a real gun. Just my opinion.

    In all seriousness, even mock weapons are dangerous. The other person may think it's real and he may have a real weapon and think he's defending himself.

    Anyway, you should tell the police that they passed through your yard. The thief or thieves may do that again and the police may keep a lookout in that general area. If the thief was successful this time, he may think he's got an easy escape route.
  2. Bluebiird's Avatar
    As much as I'd love to help the police catch this criminal I'd just be wasting their time. I didn't even get a good look at the scum. I could describe nothing about his appearance. Height. Face. Hair. Clothing. I think it was grey. That's it. Even the footprint was too shallow to discern anything useful, besides the grounds been trodden down since. Sigh. If only I'd noticed sooner. Ah well. I doubt he'd want to try it again in a hurry. The way the bricks crumbled must've worried him at least.....seemed to saunter off without a care in the world though. CRIMINAL SCUM!
    I have another defence plan in case of another incident. I could take some thorns from the back garden and put them on top of the wall. Maybe tie them down to the bent down nails. Also, although it's cowardly, if I were to get a paintball gun (I don't actually have one, I just like the idea of using one at the moment) I'd shoot trespassers in the back from the window. Although if they're not fazed by it and get angry it could be troublesome....if need be Tensa Zangetsu is quite long so close combat might be okay....gah but I have bad reflexes....a good defence is better than any offensive force I could pose....and our garden's full of good thorns that we might as well get some use out of....It's not normally a concern around here. I don't think we've had a trespasser since some of the local children tried to sneak in and pick blackberries then I was younger. They failed. The garden was bad back then too....It's late. My thought process is rather scattered. I'll probably remove this comment later.
  3. LadyLuck's Avatar
    Paintball guns are always good. They hurt when shot at bare skin. Freeze the balls, and it's worse

    Sorry that this is even something that you need to worry about. Do you have a dog? Often they're a fabulous deterrent and it can be the sweetest thing and still intimidate people.
  4. Bluebiird's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyLuck
    Paintball guns are always good. They hurt when shot at bare skin. Freeze the balls, and it's worse

    Sorry that this is even something that you need to worry about. Do you have a dog? Often they're a fabulous deterrent and it can be the sweetest thing and still intimidate people.

    I do have a dog but she's no good for that kind of thing. Even though she's a good size she doesn't even bark. She loves strangers and will jump up to lick them. The only deterring thing about her is that she's a husky and looks a bit like a wolf. Knowing her she'd jump into a strangers car and let them drive off with her given the chance. I'm told the siberian husky is a very friendly and social dog.
  5. LadyLuck's Avatar
    Sounds like my pup then He's next to worthless, but simply seeing him will make most people turn away. He's a harder, but he's the sweetest thing ever.
  6. Dark Muse's Avatar
    I have been known to answer the door with one of my daggers. It is fun because than it scares the people at the door because than they think I am crazy (which is not altogether an incorrect assumption) but I am not the kind of person the expects visitors, so when someone is knocking on the door at like 9 o clock at night or something, it is an unusual occurrence, so I arm myself and than I answer the door.

    Husky's though friendly can be intimidating to other people. I used to have a husky myself, and even though he was very friendly, out walking him it was amusing how many people actually were afraid of him. So if someone sees a husky charging at them (even if in a completely non aggressive way) it could cause a person to want to start running the other way.
  7. qimissung's Avatar
    If you lived in Texas you could shoot him with a real gun. No kidding.

    But I think the paint ball gun idea is awesome. I kind of like the idea of using real paint as it would mark the perpetrator, but frozen is good too for adding just of touch of ouch.