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Nostalgia

Diddly Doo

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by
skib
, 12-07-2011 at 11:54 PM (1337 Views)
I'm going to be selfish and write something beyond my typical one-a-month quota. I've still got half an hour till bedtime, and I've got another itch that needs scratching.

For the first time in a while, I am trying this whole writing thing without a single sip of whiskey on my tongue. I have no idea how well it's going to turn out, but whatever. I've got this notion that I might have had somewhat of a problem this last summer, considering there's a large chunk of my memory missing. I'm doing my best to clean up my act, which is quite a task considering all three of my roomies are heavy drinkers and two of them are consistently doing some sort of drugs. I've still got the urge, but my body is telling me that it won't tolerate much more of that ****. So, the battle to stay somewhat clean and healthy is going well considering the circumstances.

I'm still struggling with the whole loss of love thing, but it isn't nearly what it was. Today was the first time I've been on a horse since September. It was a short little bareback ride down the frozen river a few hundred yards and back. But it was a sorely needed respite from this responsibility-ridden lifestyle I've adopted for a while. It brought to the surface some of the feelings I've been trying to come to terms with. As much as I'm enjoying this new life of mine with all the socialization and constant entertainment, I'm beginning to miss my isolation. This will be the first winter I haven't spent at one ranch or another. When I lay down and go to sleep, the things I dream are about those times- saddling up and riding out in a blizzard, getting up four times a night and walking through the soft snow and silence to go check the heifers, and playing cards with the best friends a person could ask for. I know I won't be happy with anything other than that.
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Comments

  1. prendrelemick's Avatar
    I find that while you're contemplating choices, arriving at crossroads, assesing alternatives and pondering what could've been, life or time or whatever is rolling on, and before you know it 10 years have passed and everything that seemed so difficult has resolved itself.
  2. LadyLuck's Avatar
    Old routines seem to help with the love thing. Some time on the trail sounds welcome, and I can sympathize with missing it, though I've never lived as nomadic as a life. I was actually looking into a week long stay at a ranch to help soothe my own soul. Keep clean, and stay healthy. I think we all hit a point where we realize that we can't keep on the way we are without causing serious harm. Take Care and enjoy the time on the mountain. If nothing else, try and make plenty of time to ride about. It will help.
  3. qimissung's Avatar
    Yeah, you've gotta keep things in your life that you love-and that don't hurt you.

    "responsibility-ridden life-style"-great line.

    Good luck with love. Basically it's like that butterfly thing, I think. Live well and lovingly, and it will find you.
  4. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    Good reads Skib.

    Being intentional about things, can't be bad for you. Good luck...until we get to read again.
  5. skib's Avatar
    Prend- the more I look, the more I see that happening! With most things, anyway!

    M' Lady Luck-Yes, the old roads call my name quite loudly these days! Having a restless heart does throw a wrench in the plans to walk them now and again, but I still manage. Though I still have the yearning for the days gone by, a lot of the habits are having to go. Even at this young age I am seeing the detriments from my lifestyle.
    Sidenote- If you're looking for a good family friendly ranch- look me up! I know the best one by heart!

    qimi-That whole living well thing was a challenge, but things seem to be looking up!

    Bee- I'm afraid I am not following your meaning about being intentional about things, but it does make me smile to see you around my blog so frequently! I'll try to crank something out soon.
  6. Virgil's Avatar
    I completely understand Skib. We all miss those moments that make us feel alive and I think more importantly click in with our identity.