Varenne Rodin

What on earth Varenne??? What's going on??

It's ok. I'm tired. I don't want to do life anymore, but I don't want to make anyone feel sad. I'm just waiting. I have never felt like I should exist. It seems cruel that I should. I'm going through the motions. I don't understand why.

Have you shared how you feel with someone close to you? I really hope you will.

The only way a person's existence may be cruel is if the person has done a considerable amount of harm. You seem a nice person. I don't think you've done enough harm so that your existence should be regarded as cruel. Why not consider to give yourself another chance? I once wanted to die until I found a new goal to pursue that somehow postponed the dying will. I'm not saying it has to work for you the same it did for me, but maybe you can at least give it a thought.

No, she meant... Oh, never mind. Varenne, I understand how you are feeling. At times, it seems there are countless reasons to feel this way. Sometimes, for me, the insanity, the evil, the hypocrisy and all the wrong things seem too much to bear. I've never had to deal with death, but with other things in life, I've overcome a lot. I've felt.. nearly everything. I've hurt, or suffered, I've healed. I've seen endless darkness, and also infinite light. I've learned that you create your own life, destiny, world. I learned so much from Vivekananda, and so many others. You are always free, you can always be free. You can overcome everything. If you take the right view, it can make you stronger. If it seems that the universe is cruel for keeping you here, simply know that you create the universe. If things are this painful, then it becomes a matter of survival. If there is a burden weighing on you, find a way to shirk it; you can, and you will; be determined. If you do what is right, what you know in your heart is, if you always do, then you will always find refuges along your path. Take refuge; life can be a battle. It shouldn't be, but it can be. If a lot of this unhelpful; I regret, I'm stabbing in the dark because I don't know you or your problems. But I just want to say; you can overcome anything. The power of thought and suggestion is great, don't let anything hinder your own. You - true for everyone - create your own destiny, your own life, you write your story. You aren't simply within the story, you aren't in the pages - you are looking at the pages, holding the pen, writing them.

Varenne, the kind of situations arise in everyone's life. If fate catches you by your balls you cant do much!!! I understand totally. But that does not mean that you should give up. Fate might have won the war on you right now but ultimately you will win the battle and that's what which counts. So stay positive and throw out these emotions from your mind.

Varenne, I'm glad Litnet can serve as a place to voice these feelings. As Qimi mentioned, I hope you can reach out to a family member or friend if things get really too tough to bare alone. You may be amazed by people's capacity to be kind at such a time. On a more serious note, if you feel like you are going into crisis- there are numbers you can call to speak to a crisis counselor.

I can't say that I've not been there, Varenne. Just know that your thoughts are lying to you and it will pass.

Varenne ，life is something we have to endure sometimes.
Let it go,and find something new to carry you on.

Have you tried going back to some of the simple joys? I know that when I feel low, I try to take meaning and inspiration in the simplicity around me: the chickadee that comes to my bird feeder every freezing-cold morning, a warm cup of morning coffee in my hand, the soft noise of gossip on the street or at work by the office 'fridge.

Hope things are better. . . -- C

Thank you all for your sweet and thoughtful words. I wasn't expecting any responses. I'm generally not a complainer, so I felt weird voicing this stuff. I can't tell you how much I appreciate so much kindness when I've been feeling so blue. I didn't see these comments until tonight. I'm sorry for not responding sooner. Please know that I read everything and I will apply all of your advice to my life as best I can.

You're amazing people. I'm lucky to be able to converse with you. Thank you. <3

I'm glad to know you're feeling better Var. Sometimes one just needs and has to complain

Don't know oyu but I know the feeling. Lost one of my best friend about a year ago and still feel the loss. You learn--painfully and slowly sometimes that life goes on and there IS light at the end of a tunnel. My mother spent her last years 'waiting to die' as she also expressed it. I would not recommend that as a lifestyle. I wish to assure oyu of at least one thing--whether we know it or not there is always someone that NEEDS you and would the less for having lost YOU as well. Just a thought--this will pass--but it takes time. All the best. Rich

Thanks, Max.

Thank you, Rich. It does help to think of the people who care about me. I would never want to make them sad. I appreciate your advice.

You are welcome. And it is nice--if I may use the phrase to meet you. Here's to a life to come and be celebrated in all its ups and downs. It's good sometimes to know the dark but never good to dwell there. I speak from sometimes rueful and bitter experience. But would rather be more uplifting these days. Even the Lord Christ was only gone three days. My sermons are short--lol--be at peace.

I didn't catch this post of yours Varenne until now. I was having similar thoughts at that time as well. What got me out of it was the realization that we're all going to die and remain dead for endless aeons anyway, so whether this life be one of suffering or one of joy, we might as well live it.

I hope you're feeling better now.