View RSS Feed


Rock in Spades

Rate this Entry
I’ve been down to the allotment today, and I took my wife’s portable DAB radio. It’s great, though it doesn’t work at our house as it’s a signal dead zone. (So my wife can’t use it!). It works everywhere else though, so I duly tuned in to Planet Rock.

I like rock music, though I was never a rocker, have never ridden a motorbike, I’ve never been wanted nor have I worn black leather. (I did once have a brown leather jacket that a friend gave me when I was a student – it looked like a failed lion tamer’s jacket, but I wasn’t choosy). The thing with rock music is that it sometimes throws up some ridiculous lyrics. Thin Lizzy – a great band – were on and were singing:
“Tonight there’s going to be a jailbreak somewhere in this town”
Er, that would be the police station then, or perhaps the prison. (I’ll have to start a thread on daft lyrics in popular songs. I think it could be fertile).

Anyway, as Alice Cooper was on, I was thinking back to when my radio illusions were shattered last year. I was doing the washing up – rock music’s great for working, be that washing up or digging – and there was a chronology mistake which had Alice repeating the same things he had just said. So then it dawned on me – Alice wasn’t sat at some big desk fading in the music, but was at home by his pool, perhaps listening to his own show with a critical ear. I think my radio illusion was a throwback to the 1980’s when you could ring up the station, (though I never did – I never had change in the 1980s), and speak to the celebrity DJ.

I am aware that there is an absurdity in Rock Music. (Luckily I like absurdity). Lots of the songs are about being an outsider, poor, rejected, fighting, never giving up, fighting until the end, casual sex but at the same time not needing anyone, not being understood etc etc which I suppose feeds the imaginations of teenage boys sitting in their rooms and dreaming of being outsiders, fighting, never giving up, not needing anyone etc etc. The biggest absurdity is that the songs are often written and performed by middle aged men who wouldn’t qualify for any of these, being rich and successful, and probably never did. It’s a dreamer’s genre, or should that be fantasist?

It being an absurd genre I am aware of the absurdity of my walking back from digging a vegetable bed with a carrier of freshly picked purple sprouting broccoli for tea and singing “I’m a rock and roll outlaw and I’m on the run. I’m a rock and roll outlaw. I’ve never needed anyone”. Absurd dreaming. I just hope no-one heard me.

Earlier I had been singing along while I was digging today, and yes I have to admit that I did occasionally play the air guitar with whatever tool I was holding at the time, (gardening tool I assure you). I strummed along to Money For Nothing with my rake, and blasted some chords to Motorhead singing Motorhead. Perhaps I should have saved it for The Ace Of Spades. On reflection, maybe I should re-name this blog Rocking Spades.

Updated 05-02-2011 at 04:53 PM by Paulclem



  1. JuniperWoolf's Avatar
    I have to admit that I did occasionally play the air guitar with whatever tool I was holding at the time, (gardening tool I assure you).
    Good entry.
  2. Gilliatt Gurgle's Avatar
    Great story. So it seems "Ivy League Estates" is coming along nicely. Alice Cooper huh? You would certainly raise a few eyebrows screaming: "I've got a baby's brain and an old man's heart..."
  3. TheFifthElement's Avatar
    rocking all over the allotment. I'd have loved to have seen that.
  4. Paulclem's Avatar
    Thanks all.

    Alice Cooper hosts a planet Rock slot now Gilliett. I think he's much changed from his touring days.

    I'm afraid it wasn't a pretty sight Fifth. Luckily no-one was around - though the allotment site where I am is overlooked by a few houses...
  5. Virgil's Avatar
    "Drinking bear is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion."
    Alice Cooper

    I love that quote. It shows that all that teenage attempt to be rebellious is just another form of conventionality. The punk rocker with the spiked hair do is being just as conventional as anyone else.
  6. Paulclem's Avatar
    Too right.

    I remember in the punk times all the punks gathering together in certain pubs where they could feel part of a tribe - though if you had suggested that, they would have all exclaimed that they were individuals. In a room full of punks, they all looked conventional.