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Silas Thorne's Journal

Screen followers

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Walked slowly, the screen follower
forever mindful of catching the
ebb flow of thought
comments, directly touching fictional presences.
While hunt-eyes, dwindling their edges soft
forget the traffic of bird and beast
and pine sap scent dies on the air.

Updated 10-05-2010 at 05:12 PM by Silas Thorne

Categories
Poetry

Comments

  1. TheFifthElement's Avatar
    I really like this Silas, it has an excellent flow. It is a piece to be read aloud, is it not? I love the contrast you present too, between the 'screen follower', following ideas, thought, the intangible while the tangible world flows around him. I think the line breaks are excellent too; especially here:
    ebb flow of thought
    comments, directly touching fictional presences.
    which seems to lever the piece. It's almost clunky, but it works. This bit:
    While hunt eyes, dwindling their edges soft
    confused me a little, until I got on to the next line then I understood, or at least I think I understood
  2. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    You should get outside and off the computer. Writing too much?
  3. Silas Thorne's Avatar
    haha, yes it's me and not me. Perhaps you too? It was a reflection on someone continuously texting on a sunny day, and I've also been guilty of that.
  4. PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
    Sorry to have been slow responding to this and the more recent one (which puzzled the hell out of me) but this one has your usual crisp style and as TheFifth noted some very effective line-breaks.