Progymnasmata

Wow I love this! Beautifully done, and it paints such a wonderful picture. I love Autumn.

This is marvelous.
I really like it.

Do you rake before work?

It is that time again isn't it?
Nice fall images- Happy Autumn.

Thanks for the kind responses.

@jersea -- naww -- I did this last weekend.

Very evocative! I can smell the burning pine needles, and feel you brush them into a heap. Beautiful stuff!

I love the closing lines:

I raked them this morning--
The turned leaves and needles,
The tumbled ends and starts,
Into the big fire,
Into the big smoke,
And into the open sky.

I'm not sure about the third stanza though. The b's and s's somehow seemed a bit belaboured (excuse me! ) , especially in comparison to the other stanzas.

But still good stuff!

Thanks Silas -- though I can't believe that you found fault with this poem -- the Norton Anthology of American Literature is planning to feature it in its next edition. . . required reading for all college students. . . go figure. . .

Actually, I think you're right about that second stanza -- that was the point where I changed the direction of the poem, and I think the language came out cumbersome as a result.

I wanted to write about how pines molt a portion of their needles in preparation for winter and contrast that with the far more common metaphor of the deciduous trees that lose all of their leaves at that time. The metaphor of a half-shedding, paired with the twists of timing (shedding for animals occurs in the spring, but pines shed a portion of their needles in the fall) seemed so ripe to illustrate a moment of understanding.

But I tossed them all in the fire and walked away. . .

Thanks for the thoughtful comments.

Originally Posted by The Comedian

Thanks Silas -- though I can't believe that you found fault with this poem -- the Norton Anthology of American Literature is planning to feature it in its next edition. . . required reading for all college students. . . go figure. . .

Wow! That's terrific! Sending you a crate of cold beers as we speak.

Oh well, I'll take back everything I said about the poem then, dude. This one is perfect! hahaha