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Progymnasmata

Transparency

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This poem was written for the Picture Poetry Contest. It is a response to this image:



Transparency

The sun behind the stones,
The people in the crag,
His hands in his pockets,
Her hands behind her gown.

We hide what we can see:
These people, the earth, and me.

The sun behind the clouds,
The rain sounds on our roof,
My two girls watch Dora,
My wife is on the phone.

We hide what we can see:
These people, the earth, and me.

Shadows lap the fissures,
And boarders crop the trees,
The viewer is a ghost.
The river runs below.

We hide what we can see:
These people, the earth, and me.

Dinner on the table,
I whisper "thanks" alone,
Then say "thanks" out loud
For true transparency.

We hide what we can see:
These people, the earth, and me.

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Comments

  1. qimissung's Avatar
    That is a beautiful, touching poem, Comedian; it speaks so poignantly to the human condition. It may not have won the contest, but it is a winner!
  2. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    Comedian, I didn't know you were such a poet. Thanks for sharing!
  3. Virgil's Avatar
    Yes, this is outstanding. Very well done. I don't usually care for repeated lines, but here it works really well. Kudos.
  4. applepie's Avatar
    I always love your poetry :)
  5. The Comedian's Avatar
    Thanks all for the kind thoughts.

    Virgil -- I agree about the repeated lines, but here I tried to use it as a transition between stanzas which alternated between the author's home and the action in the picture -- almost like a song chorus.