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Euphemism is defined thusly:

The act or an example of substituting a mild, indirect, or vague term for one considered harsh, blunt, or offensive: “Euphemisms such as ‘slumber room’ . . . abound in the funeral business” (Jessica Mitford).

[Greek euphēmismos, from euphēmizein, to use auspicious words, from euphēmiā, use of auspicious words : eu-, eu- + phēmē, speech.]

It seems euphemisms can be used in various ways...to gloss over unpleasantness, to soften one's words, to be "politically correct" or to seek to deceive. Language is a powerful tool that can be used to enlighten, inform or even "pull the wool over your eyes".

Apparently real euphemisms and I have no idea what these mean...
Not tonight Josephine
On Carey Street

More euphemisms...
Spend more time with my family
Meaning: Euphemistic way of describing being made redundant.
Origin: Often used by UK polititians when explaining why they are leaving office at short notice.

Pop your clogs
Meaning: Die.

Biosolids
Meaning:used for “sewage sludge”, which is another euphemism for fecal matter, which in turn could be a euphemism for...something not very pleasant.

We’re letting you go
Meaning: “we’re firing you”

Strategic misrepresentations
Meaning: lies, falsehoods


Euphemisms and buying a car: What you need to know.

What it says - What it means
Must sell - Before it blows up.
Runs fine - I was going to say "runs excellent," but I had a last-minute conscience attack.
Needs some body work - Was blindsided by a Winnebago.
Well-maintained - I changed the oil occasionally.
Looks like new - Just don't try to drive it anywhere.
All original - I never had anything fixed, adjusted or replaced.
Loaded with options - Each one more troublesome than the next.
Never smoked in - Unfortunately, that's the best thing I can say about it.
Project car - Doesn't run.
Lots of potential - Doesn't run.
Needs minor repair - Doesn't run."


Fake Euphemisms: I don't know, they just seem funny...

Shut the door! I'm rearranging the chimney!

Every morning, he woke up gargling the yam.

He was so drunk, he was literally burping the ol' Nantucket parcel.

Shut the door! I'm shocking the otter's chiffarobe!