Literature Network Forums - Blogs http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php The largest classic literature discussion forum on the Internet. Read Write Teach Share. en Sat, 26 May 2012 18:26:31 GMT vBulletin 1 http://www.online-literature.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg Literature Network Forums - Blogs http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php My zone part II http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12412 Wed, 23 May 2012 09:12:36 GMT I could think about this comfort zone idea for ever if I had the time. But my thoughts now and after thinking about the comments from my last blog I... I could think about this comfort zone idea for ever if I had the time. But my thoughts now and after thinking about the comments from my last blog I am gonna try not to think about it that much, I am just gonna do what feels comfortable to me and not be bothered by the opinions of people around me. My mom told me that I should work on my social skills and talk to people on the street, and she said it in a way 'you can do it if you try(and you should!!)' I just thought to myself 'I don't want to' I saw a teacher from school (when I was 10) and I made sure to look the other direction, what do I have to say to him? nothing so why should I stress myself out by talking to him. I didn't even like him.

I also thought of something looking over my past blogs and notes, I am always talking about me being happy and alone, and alone and happy! WHY? I overthink everything (I talk about that a lot too) Why can't I just be happy in peace and when something happens I'll deal with it.

I am reading a great book now by Mikhail Lermontov called 'the hero of our times' it is a wonderful tale of a man that is not a good or decent man. The words used to describe him and things around him are so beautiful and I love reading these descriptions of human nature and I see so many people (including myself) in them. He truly is a hero of our times, I was trying to find a quote from it but couldn't. When I do I'll post it.

Now, here on the ice we have tales of old about people (not elves in this case) that live in the rocks and they have powers we can't pretend to know of. it was said that these people put their elders in the body of a child to make sure they were taken care of 'till they die and the child was taken to their world and used as slaves. I am telling you this cause I think this is what is going on with my son. He says things a six year old shouldn't. Before his birthday party he looked at me and said 'mom, I don't want music in my birthday, it's not a party it's a formal social gathering.' WHAT!!! what kid says things like that!!! he says things like 'this is all very technical' and when a sticker had been peeled of his desk he looked at me and said 'who would do this to me?' I had to pinch myself not to laugh.

He says things like this all the time and sometimes I just don't know how to respond 'ok no music in your birthday....gathering...'

I call him my mouse, I call all my boys that, also my brothers sons and they are not used to it and look at me like I'm crazy. I call my son all kinds of things, from animal to cuddly things and he answers everything. very funny.

Part II of part II:

I got a call from my doctor this evening (who happens to be the singer in a very popular band here on the ice) and he told me I need iron and B12. He is gonna put me on a special B 12 vitamin and the lack of iron explains everything that has been going on, both what I told him and what I didn't. I checked wiki for iron deficiency and the symptoms include hair loss, fatigue, the blood thingy and dizziness. Now the things I didn't connect with this but are symptoms are being very irritable and more likely to get infections in your mouth. I am so happy to know what it is and that it's easily fixed. I am gonna take my iron every day and I hope it has some affect on my mood, I get irritated so easily and I hate it, it irritates me.

I think I'll be a better mom if I learn to take care of myself. I read somewhere that people need loving the most when they deserve it the least and that is something I also need to think about when it comes to me. ]]> Helga http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12412 my zone is comfortable http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12410 Mon, 21 May 2012 14:23:26 GMT I have gotten a few kicks from many directions in the last few days about comfort zones. Not directly but in my head they hit that zone. I am happy,... I have gotten a few kicks from many directions in the last few days about comfort zones. Not directly but in my head they hit that zone. I am happy, I am not unhappy I feel good most of the time even though I am lonely sometimes i's nothing that bugs me a lot. I like my home and staying there. I do the things I know and follow a routine. These things make me happy. I play or read for my son, I pet my dogs and take care of all three. I read my books and watch my tv and drink my coffee in peace.

My mom told me about her friends daughter and how warm and sweet she is cause she hugged and talked to my mom when she saw her on the street. When I see people I know I usually look into a shop window and pretend not to see them and hope they don't see me cause I don't know what to say to them. This isn't something that bugs me, this makes me feel comfortable in my skin.

My friend from school told me yesterday that she is gonna have a wine and cheese night next weekend and she would let me know what time. I thought great I want to see these girls a bit over the summer so I won't loose touch but then I thought, aw it's in another town and I don't like going this far and stuff like that. I am gonna go if she does this but this is very out of character for me and as far out of my comfort zone as I am willing to go.

I read today about how you can only grow if you listen to the voice inside that pushes you out of your comfort zone. I just don't get it, why should I talk to people I hardly know and go out of my way to meet people when I am my own best company.

I love being with my son, but I also love the weekends when I am alone. Sometimes I don't talk to anyone except maybe my mom once in three days and I feel so happy and relaxed.

Another part of my comfort zone is I don't like having people in my house. My son's birthday party was last weekend, his birthday is on the 24th but we had the party last Saturday. I have in my kitchen a schedule about what we eat and our evening routine and in my bedroom I have quotes on my wall that help me stay focused and just I need or like. When my house is filled with people they read this. They put the baby stuff in my bedroom and see all this on my wall and check it out, they come into the kitchen and see my perfect schedule. I don't like this, this is my space and my stuff and thoughts.

The birthday went well anyway and my son loved it and played with his friends in the garden and it was nice. I was sooooo happy when everybody left. But the day was nice.

I am getting my blood tested tomorrow so I haven't been taking any vitamins for a week so the results are as true as possible. I don't know why I feel like this and why it all happens now cause I have been thinking about what I eat and I walk a lot everyday and I have probably never lived a healthier life... We'll see tomorrow.

I was at work today and at lunch I sat with 4 ladies that work with me. One is in a very unhappy marriage, one lost her husband 2 years ago, one has a very sick husband now and the fourth has a husband that had a stroke a year ago and can't work. I looked at them and thought to myself, wow, maybe I should just be alone...

Life is so very odd and great and terrible. ]]> Helga http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12410 Dog Park #9 The Bottle Bomb http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12409 Sat, 19 May 2012 04:01:04 GMT One can never be too cautious. There is a lot of activity coming and going at the Dpk and currently I am still spread between two parks, one on... One can never be too cautious.
There is a lot of activity coming and going at the Dpk and currently I am still spread between two parks, one on each side of the road making it hard to watch all the traffic coming and going. This evening as I walked over to the upper park with my trusty yellow wagon behind me (I was going to empty the trash bag) I noticed some litter in the parking lot and went to pick it up; after picking up some loose bags and paper my attention was turned to a empty plastic bottle lying in the center of the back half of the lot. Not thinking much of it I walked up and stooped to pick it up then stopped dead in my motions….it had a cap on it. There was a liquid inside and a Cola label wrapped around it making it difficult for me to see just what was going on inside but what made the hair on my arms stand up is that it looked swollen. I stood up as Joyce and her dog walked by me and asked
“Did you find something interesting?”
“Hope not.” I replied backing up from the bottle.
She came over and Bruce, her dog headed over to smell the bottle.
“Stop him!” I warned in a stern voice.
“Why?” Joyce pulled Bruce back quickly
“Possible bottle bomb.”
.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/bottlebomb.asp

I had read about them and longing to keep my limbs and other physical features as long as possible I dialed Peter, the Park Ranger.
“Hi Peter….sorry to bother you but I have a slightly swollen capped bottle in the parking lot of the upper dog park….have you heard about bottle bombs?” I started.
“Don’t touch it, move away and close down that area. I will contact the Park Ranger on duty; they will be there shortly.”
And that is just what I did.

Two Park Rangers arrived and upon eyeing the bottle, they too were leery of touching it. They considered calling the police and as the first Ranger was on the phone calling the other; either a very brave or naive Ranger kicked it with his foot and ran.

Nothing! A sigh of relief!!

I thanked them for resolving this potential dangerous situation and said I didn’t mean to call in the forces (by the time this all finished I had six Park Rangers on site) for something as simple as an empty coke bottle but it was not worth the risk to me or anyone here at the park. They agreed that I did the right thing and even if they didn’t I still felt I did what was safe for all.

Perhaps the cola in the tightly capped bottle had sat in the heat of the sun all day and that is what made the bottle swell….well, I did not want to be the one to find out.

What would you have done? ]]> kittypaws http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12409 Where The Wild Things Are http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12408 Sat, 19 May 2012 02:07:42 GMT Last week the children’s book author, Maurice Sendak, passed away. May he rest in peace. The New York Times had a fine obituary. ---Quote---... Last week the children’s book author, Maurice Sendak, passed away. May he rest in peace. The New York Times had a fine obituary.

Quote:
Maurice Sendak, widely considered the most important children’s book artist of the 20th century, who wrenched the picture book out of the safe, sanitized world of the nursery and plunged it into the dark, terrifying and hauntingly beautiful recesses of the human psyche, died on Tuesday in Danbury, Conn. He was 83.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/09/bo...pagewanted=all



I’ve only read one of Mr. Sendak’s books, the one he’s famous for, the one I bet most people have read, and as it turns out my all time favorite children’s book, Where The Wild Things Are. I never actually owned the book as a child, but I do remember reading it in the library all the time. I have a very clear memory of being about seven or eight sitting at a table at the library on the corner of 60th street and 17th avenue going through the book, the feeling of time standing still, a feeling of something lurking over my shoulder as the boy Max enters that imaginary world of the wild things. I don’t know how many times I picked up that book there, but it was frequent. I’m not sure if that memory was of the first time I picked up the book or a subsequent time of which I would have known the story well. I remember sitting on that wooden child’s chair at that small children’s table, the wood a pale oak stain, the chair having a concave plate for a back support, the table cluttered with books. It was all so eerie. One moment Max is punished to his room and the next he’s entered a night world of dark forest, raging sea dragons, and an island of monsters with jagged, sharp teeth, fierce nails, and horns. I think it was the shape of those teeth that froze me. How could a boy just wonder off like that? I would have been so scared if it were me. And yet I followed Max in.



It’s really hard to pin down what makes Where The Wild Things Are so unique. There are not a lot of words to the story. It’s almost all pictures. The art is more alluring, more enticing, more seductive than the actual story line. The story line is simple, perhaps even ordinary. A bad boy runs off, encounters wild creatures, conquerors them, and returns home where now, matured from his experience, he’s reformed and accepted. It’s a permutation of the various hero motifs, a blend of the knight on a quest, Odysseus on his odyssey, Theseus entering the cave, Beowulf overcoming Grendel, the prodigal son returning home. Only there is no violence. Max overcomes the wild things with a penetrating stare, a magical power of the will.



The Times obit identifies Sendak’s uniqueness in his contrast to traditional children’s stories.

Quote:
In book after book, Mr. Sendak upended the staid, centuries-old tradition of American children’s literature, in which young heroes and heroines were typically well scrubbed and even better behaved; nothing really bad ever happened for very long; and everything was tied up at the end in a neat, moralistic bow.

Mr. Sendak’s characters, by contrast, are headstrong, bossy, even obnoxious. ..His pictures are often unsettling. His plots are fraught with rupture: children are kidnapped, parents disappear, a dog lights out from her comfortable home.

A largely self-taught illustrator, Mr. Sendak was at his finest a shtetl Blake, portraying a luminous world, at once lovely and dreadful, suspended between wakefulness and dreaming. In so doing, he was able to convey both the propulsive abandon and the pervasive melancholy of children’s interior lives.

His visual style could range from intricately crosshatched scenes that recalled 19th-century prints to airy watercolors reminiscent of Chagall to bold, bulbous figures inspired by the comic books he loved all his life, with outsize feet that the page could scarcely contain. He never did learn to draw feet, he often said.
It’s the visual uniqueness of the wild things, “huge, snaggletoothed, exquisitely hirsute and glowering maniacally,” (from the obit) that generates fear and awe, freezes the blood, and penetrates to the core of the brain, to something primal, at least that of the seven year old boy in the library. But Max is unafraid and appropriates the power of the wild things. While the art work is exquisite, the story shouldn’t be minimized. What captures me about the story is the inherent parallelism. The wild boy that meets wild creatures and tames them and who in turn is tamed from his experience. It’s classically balanced: the parents punish him and yet forgive him at the end.

What’s coincidental is that Sendak grew up in same Brooklyn neighborhood of Bensonhurst that I did. I wonder if that library was there then. It would have been the 1930’s when he was seven years old, so probably not. He did go to Lafayette High School, which was the football rival school to my New Utrecht High School. It makes me wonder at what part of the neighborhood he lived. He and I then are connected, though a bit more than a generations apart, in a way that people who looked at the same buildings can say they understand the images that nurtured them. Was there something in Bensonhurst that might have inspired the wild things? I’m not sure, but there were a class of roughnecks running about in the streets who could have been called wild things. And those roughnecks are archetypically Brooklyn, Brooklyn past, Brooklyn present, Brooklyn future.

It does strike me that Where The Wild Things Are is a boy’s tale. The story is rendered from Max’s point of view, and Max is kind of a rowdy, boyish boy. I wonder if girls enjoy this story as much as boys. I gave this book as a present to one of my nieces when she was small. I assume she read it. She never mentioned it, though she’s never mentioned any of her books. Well, time flies because she’ll be entering college next year.

I ‘ve been reading the book to Matthew since before he was two years old. He definitely enjoys it, though I think he focuses on different parts than I did. While that seven year old boy that was me focused on the mystery of the forest and potential savagery of the wild things, Matthew seems to be captivated by bad boy Max getting punished and then the rumpus play when Max takes up with his now wild thing friends.



It could be the age differences. Two year olds and seven year olds have different sensibilities. He enjoys it that Max, now made King, rides on top of the shoulders of the minotaur-like creature. Matthew even calls the minotaur “daddy” since it reminds him of riding on my shoulders.

I know a few years ago they made the book into a movie, but it got such bad reviews that I didn’t go see it. I caught a few minutes of it on TV and it did look bad.

Finally I think I should end this with the same letter the author received from an admiring little boy. It says it all.

“Dear Mr. Sendak,” read one [letter], from an 8-year-old boy. “How much does it cost to get to where the wild things are? If it is not expensive, my sister and I would like to spend the summer there.”

]]> Virgil http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12408 A year has passed http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12407 Fri, 18 May 2012 15:38:31 GMT Tomorrow I am gonna have a birthday party for my son, his birthday is on may 24th but we'll have the party this weekend cause he'll be spending next weekend with his dad. I am glad to just do it and be done with it for the whole year. I hate parties and having people in my house. but I am trying to be positive and I have cleaned the house high and love and baked a few cookies and cakes bought a bunch of fruits to have on a plate but I think the rice crispies will be more popular.

My family isn't big so there will just be around 15 guests, a few of my sons friends. I bought him a green lantern action figure (he's just 6 he liked the movie). the dogs are gonna give him a buzz lightyear lego, I also bought him binoculars cause he is always playing spy. When his real birthday is next week I'm gonna give him a ninjago lego set. I want to make his real birthday a bit of fun.

Now I passed all my exams and I am very happy about it. Some kids didn't do all the work and a few failed, I always find it odd when kids go to college and can't bother studying.

I have started working at the home for the elderly again, but just for 2 months then I'll be off for the rest of the summer to do something fun with my boy. then he'll be starting school next fall so it should be exciting!

I don't want to get into details now but I have been feeling a bit off for a while now, I am going to see my doctor next week and he's gonna take some blood. I have been feeling dizzy and getting some skin blood thingy and a lot of hairloss... don't know what is going on but I'll find out next week I hope.

Anyway I think me and my boy are gonna watch Doctor Parnassus tonight, that is the plan at least. ]]> Helga http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12407 <![CDATA[Blue's Bizarre Subconscious]]> http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12406 Fri, 18 May 2012 04:50:49 GMT So. The dreams I've had. I'll try to be quick. It's late but I wanted to stay up a little longer but if this takes too long I'll do it again later.

I've had about 4-5 odd dreams, all while I've been sleeping in late (the best time for my subconscious to go crazy so as I can remember it). I can't be sure of all the details, only the overly gripping bits so they're going to be full of holes and the number of holes will be linked to how early in the past week they were. Each title is related to one specific dream from one specific morning, none of these were in the same day. So. In chronological order, as far as I can remember.

Tora the Tiger

After some previously forgotten activity that is not linked to what I am about to tell you, I happened to be in my house. Although (like many dreams) it was my house but for the context of the dream it wasn't, then it was again. There was a young woman with a ginger cat. (my old cat Henry was ginger and white but he was a brighter ginger than most cats I've ever seen, he was more of an orangey ginger, if that makes sense. This cat was a regular ginger cat and nothing like my Henry). It was a young male. Although he was supposed to be a year old he looked younger but even though he was a year old he was still supposed to be a kitten. He was actually bigger than a kitten. I suppose you'd have to say he was of adolescent size.

This woman had had this cat for a year and it had gotten attached to her over that time. But for reasons not disclosed she couldn't keep the cat anymore. She wanted to sell it to us because it had already gotten used to our scent...not exactly sure how that would've happened but hey, dreams are dreams. It was pretty much a case of only we can take this cat now. But she wouldn't just give it to us. We had to buy it. I was determined to have this cat anyway. In fact I'd already thought of a perfect name for him, Tora (it means tiger). I was worried about having a cat when we had one...no two dogs. For some reason we had both Yuki and my aunt's cavalier king charles spaniel Rosie. Not quite sure how that happened either.

Eventually we agreed to buy this cat and the price was negotiated while I was busy trying to work out whether we had one or two dogs. The woman and the cat were gone and I asked what the price had been. We had to buy her some strange (and pretty fanciful therefore nonexistent) sushi. Fortunately we knew a place that could make what she wanted but for some reason she wanted it in November specifically. Since we're in May that's a long way off. It also seemed that we wouldn't get the cat until the payment was made. It was then we concluded that this woman was obviously crazy and had no intention of making a rational argument. I regret that we didn't get the cat but it's probably for the best. I'm pretty sure Yuki would've eaten Tora the second she saw him.

Dude That's My Foot

I was at home and for some reason I was being looked after by a work colleague of my mother. Not sure why I needed babysitting at 24 years old but I do regress quite a bit in dream land. Then of course logic kicks in and I think, what's going on here. Anyway. This guy was looking after me. Somehow, and I'm not sure how, since I don't remember seeing a blade, he cut of the big toe on my left foot. It was an accident and surprisingly it didn't hurt. I was like what the hell dude let's call an ambulance. But he was like no I'll get in trouble and you'll be bothering the doctors if you do. I agreed so I sat down and pushed the severed to back to it's original place, although it had now become the top half of the ball of my foot with four toes on it. The little toe was spared. After a while of holding it in place it magically stuck back together, although I had a little scar where it was. After that I think I ended up going to work in a strange office that was supposed to be my mothers.

The Church of I've Been Playing too Much Sims

Now this was a long one and I can't recall the exact order of everything, but it should make an interesting story nonetheless. I was at a place with a similar layout to the back end of my old school (before it was rebuilt). It consisted of the gymnasium, the dining hall (just opposite the gym) and the doors by the sports hall (Which is just across from the gym). This wasn't actually my school, just laid out in a similar way.

One moment I was in a room with some members of my family. It's the famed family gathering. I think I go out to look around and come back in later. I'm by the doors that would rb the gym or my school and I'm craving chocolate, but there is none. Then I see a wreath like ornament on the door. We got one of these last year, I seem to recall. It has fist sized, star shaped clumps wrapped in purple foil. These are chocolate. It's being used as a decoration so I know it will be noticed if I take one. There are two of them. There are also smaller chocolate stars stuck to the door. I think I can get away with one of these. I try to take one but it turns into a loose screw in the door. How silly to mistake a screw for chocolate. I try again and get one of the stars. How exactly it's stuck to the door I wouldn't like to guess. The star becomes a half eaten bar of chocolate. I put it in my back pocket for later, knowing full well that it will melt.

There are voices from the other side of the door. I'd thought it was just the family talking like usual so I peek in and the hall is full of people. Not just people, it's a congregation. There seems to be a church service going on. I'm quite angry. Why are my non religious family at a church service? No one's died, getting married or having a christening. And why are they there anyway? They're supposed to be entertaining their guests who they barely see.

I end up back in the room with everyone else not at the service. My cousin (the one who is actually touring Australia with her boyfriend right now) is reading a craft magazine, similar to the kind I read but something far more surreal. I pick up one to flip through and find it strangely similar to the knitting magazine I read. I noticed that this one had the same kinds of adverts, layout and the exact same comic strip (the real one does not have comic strips but in the dream it did). I marvel at the contents. There's a two page spread on how to assembly your own under the sea themed umbrella along with a clownfish shaped umbrella and how to attach the seaweed and rock attachments to make it look cool.

The remaining family then head off to the service and there are a few strangers remaining who also don't want to go. I wander around again and come to a library (where the dining hall would be at school). I go in but there are few people there, those that are are heading to the service. I walk around looking for something interesting and am disappointed to find it full or religious books (they don't look religious but I know they are). I wonder to myself why they don't at least have a comic book section (although I actually read manga, not comic books I have always been fascinated by them, I've just never been able to read any). Just as I'm thinking this I spy a comic book section. It's currently closed off but full of posters so I can get an idea of what's in there and whether it's any good. It's not. It's all promotional material for a self published comic book by one of the mindless peons at the library. It wouldn't suit my tastes. I wander out again.

There's a scattered group of people outside who are being directed to the service but don't want to go. When those who want to go are inside the rest of us go outside (through the doors by the sports hall at school) We end up climbing a steep hill which is actually a mountain. We wonder how long it will be before everyone else notices we're gone and whether they'll come after us. It now seems we're planning to start a new community in the mountains until they come to get us. I have the option of purchasing upgrades to make life easier for us, like a new power source which will increase productivity of any farms we build or increase rainfall. I also have the option of upgrading the people. I can pick special items to give people that will enhance their abilities, like the Goth Ring, that will prolong the life of any Goth girl by two hours regardless of her situation. I buy that but then to use it I have to upgrade some girls to Goths. Not exactly sure why. Could be because at that time I'd made a vampire band in the Sims and I'd been playing it most of the weekend for a change of pace.

The Princess

There was a beautiful young princess whose mother, the queen, was jealous of. She decided to step down as queen but arranged it in the most cruel way. The princess had to take a dagger and stab the queen in the heart before her court. The princess didn't want to do it but she did so anyway. For some reason I was very close at this point and was able to feel the blade through the queen's skin (it seems for some reason I was hugging her. Not sure why. I didn't like her).

The scene shifts to my house which once again is not my house but the palace (pretty shoddy palace). I will serve the princess unconditionally and will carry out her every order to the letter, regardless of who it may annoy. i feel sorry for her and want to support her. Today she'll be having dinner with some of her servants. I am to dish up the dinner. Suddenly she changes her mind and wants to go out in the garden so I let her and take back the food from the servants. They're not happy, they've been waiting long enough. But I assume the princess will still be dining with them unless she says otherwise so I make them wait for her. When she comes back the food is cold but she wants to eat now. I have to try and heat up the servant's dried broccoli and cauliflower and cook sausages for the princess. Also, she wants a bath. How can I cook and heat the water for her bath? I assume she still wants to eat, she hasn't said otherwise.


I'm a Vampire Slayer?

I'm a vampire slayer. In fact, for some reason I'm playing the role of Blade (from the films). I know how this script is supposed to go because apparently I've seen this particular film before. I open the door to go into the street and find my rival vampire slayer Alucard (from Hellsing. In fact he looks more like a cosplayer and not the real Alucard but never mind that.) We're supposed to have a sword fight here and I'm supposed to beat him but realism kicks in and I can't fight him properly. Suddenly he changes from a sword to high powered kicks. This is his specialty (it really isn't. The real Alucard shoots things. He doesn't kick but still).

Our fight is halted when we're attacked by an army of vampires. Most of them don't even look like vampire but I know they are. Sometimes my sword fighting is realistic to my nonexistent abilities but now and then I pull of a dramatic inhuman move (this was actually quite nice. Usually in my dreams when I play the hero and have to fight we end up kind of play fighting. Like instead of doing a super jump and kicking someone I'll do and ordinary jump and kick them clumsily and they will fall back as if they're just playing around. It's actually quite sad to watch so I tire of fighting dreams quickly and the plot will shift to something else.) I dispatch a few head vampires by cutting off their heads....head...:lol:. But as I'm starting to aim for the necks the fighting slows down to that play fighting I hate. They have to get slower as I line up the blade to take of their heads cleanly and it gets harder to actually cut.

Now I'm near a dark bottomless pit which if I fall into I'll cease to exist but if a vampire falls in they'll just respawn unless I kill them and then they go in the pit, then it's fine. Now I encounter the real head vampire. Before I can fight him I'm attacked by his lesbian servant and her girlfriend. Actually I think they were actually bisexual since they were the love slaves of the guy vampire...not really sure. For the purpose of the story they were lesbian lovers in bikinis...not sure why. I think it's a reference to the film Lesbian Vampire Killers which I've never seen but I've wondered about the concept.

Anyway. I try to cut the head off of the first one but it just won't cut. I try several times but I leave a bit of skin which acts like a hinge. It seems they won't die unless you cut off the whole head. So I kick both her and her girlfriend into the pit. Now the pit kills vampires too.

Another, male, servant of the vampire comes up behind me with his master's gun which is a kind of super powerful space gun and throws it over my head to his master. I'm now as good as dead if I fight these two and Alucard isn't in a position to help me, he's fighting vampires way off in the distance. I perform my last super skilled move before I wake up and slice the gun in half mid air. Without it I have a change of beating these guys.
Alas I woke up then.

But I've Never Read Twilight

I was back at school...or uni. I get these ones a lot. Every time it's because I forgot to do something. (I know I can't be at school or uni now because I graduated both so my brain concludes not that this is a dream but that I forgot to do something the first time around). I was in a classroom of people and the lecturer was talking about a book. It turned out that all four Twilight books were required reading for this course. Are there only four? In the dream it was four. I thought oh crap, I've never read Twilight. I don't even own a copy. But then I did and I'd read the first few pages. This is because my dead uncle (the real dead uncle) had been reading it sometime before he died (not in reality) and when he died his widow gave it to me, since I studied literature and stuff.

Now my dead uncle is not the sort of man to read any book, especially one like Twilight. He's more like Napoleon in character...was I should say, although he was very loud and a little boorish. Neither of them would really read a book unless it was about something that interested them (like trains or Totenham Hotspur) and neither of them would ever read a fiction book. I think I was combining my dead uncle with the one that annoys me. Now he does read books not aimed at his age group. He claims to have read all of the Harry Potter books. There's another lot of books I've never read. Books that are in fashion, that everyone's reading or talking about don't interest me. Ones that have so much merchandise it's unbelievable. To me it just seems like a fad and I stopped going along with fads after...I think it was after Pokemon.

So. That's all I can remember now. Pretty.......varied huh?

It's kind of nice though. With some of these I regretted waking up, usually because I wanted to see the end of the story. I never seem to get to the end of the story, or the end shifts into a new story. It's pretty fun though. You can tell I encounter way too much fiction.

I think it's time to end it now.

Bluebiird out.

On a side note. For a while I've been trying to come up with nicknames in my head for people, befitting my status as a budding Otaku. I've come up with only three so far. It takes a long time. The names are based on usernames and or avatars. Some are pretty easy based on name or avatar but most aren't. I have Okami-san. Yami-san. Taka-san or Kuroi Taka-san if you prefer. I had to look up Taka and/or Kuroi Taka but I already knew what Okami and Yami were. By the way I would be Aoi Tori, Aoi-chan if you prefer. It would be good if I could spell Tori with two I's but that would be silly. I still maintain that the second I in my name is silent anyway, since it sounds silly if someone tries to say it otherwise.
Ah. I only really put this in because I doubt anyone will read this far. Don't hate me if you don't like the names. I won't actually use them. ]]> Bluebiird http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12406 <![CDATA[It's not the end.]]> http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12405 Thu, 17 May 2012 23:07:29 GMT As many fibres in those eyes have died, and even though your cells are dull and dry; despite the fact those data chips are fried, .....remember... As many fibres in those eyes have died,
and even though your cells are dull and dry;
despite the fact those data chips are fried,

.....remember that your credit is still high,
and if you wish, for a discounted fee
you can recharge your dwindling energy,
upgrade those mental skills to two point three
and be the system you were meant to be!

Or if you want to gain a few more creds,
take on a few more psyches for the ride!
Of course, that plan’s discouraged by the feds-
but simple pleasures cannot be denied.

Researching market trends is pretty good
and could enable better add-ons too,
although in time such thought-transference could
make you a boring soul- it’s up to you!

I’d recommend the mind upgrading plan
since you’re a fellow with a lot of vim,
you’ve put some clever nodes in you and can
make it alone, right to Valhalla’s Rim!

If on some later date you wish to cease,
Then send a mental message with this tag,
No questions asked. Then seek eternal peace,
safe in your own recycling bag. ]]> Silas Thorne http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12405 Four fine people with songs in their chests http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12404 Thu, 17 May 2012 23:06:40 GMT There's four fine people with songs in their chests:

The first man, on the stairs,
open-throats a Spanish hymn,
pacing it back and forth to the roof
but wishing it further.

The second man stumbles,
blues chords tangling in a white beard.
With his arms down low,
he's looking for the key to the storeroom.

The third fine person has long legs
and a purple dress,
and she hums past a song
as I let out my breath. ]]> Silas Thorne http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12404 Hide and Seek http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12403 Thu, 17 May 2012 23:05:35 GMT Brow beat in midday sun my hair’s a wet tangle. One scratch, and the game’s done. Sea, fresh in my breaths in, warm toes, curled in cool sand,... Brow beat in midday sun
my hair’s a wet tangle.
One scratch, and the game’s done.

Sea, fresh in my breaths in,
warm toes, curled in cool sand,
I know the count’s long done.

Still in the dunes, heart slow,
a cricket lands by me,
chirping in the long grass.
chirp chirp, chirp chirp, chirp chirp;
You peng zi yuan fang lai*,
in time, we say goodbye.

My fine guest leaves, rested,
I stand, and climb the dunes.
That game is long over.


* A friend comes to visit from afar ]]> Silas Thorne http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12403 Lambing again. http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12401 Thu, 17 May 2012 17:10:35 GMT Nothing has happened to me lately to inspire a blog, but lambing time has been and gone so I thought I'd jot down a few things about that.

Young Stephen, a nephew, came up to help this year. He was such a sharp little lad when he was 12, but teenagerhood has hit him hard. A shrug and a grunt is now his only means of communication (apart from constantly texting persons unknown.) He manages to combine both the Aristotelean Laws of motion, in that his body remains in motion only while being pushed, and those of Newton, in that his body tends to stay at rest unless acted upon by another body (me.) Anyway after a few days a Dentist's appointment took him from us – for a week – so I had time to recover from his help.

On the sheep front things have gone extraordinarily well. I've managed to prevent all but one ewe from dying and lost only 12 lambs. The main reason for this is firstly the fine weather - more of that later - and because I got the shearlings (first timers) inside where I could keep a close watch on them. This meant 90% of the problems were under my eye day and night and I didn't have to spend so much time chasing expectant mothers over hill and dale in order to deliver them.

The good weather (apart from a couple of days) was a stroke of luck and entirely down to Daisy May our pony. Last October she was scratching her backside on a gate and opened it, releasing the tups into the ewes. By the time I realised what had happened all six tups had been working for a day and a half and lambing time was three weeks early.

Then one night it snowed. It was forcasted as sleet falling on the hills, what we got was a full on blizzard. I went out at midnight into a strong northerly wind that was thick with snow. It was beginning to drift under the walls and over the sheep that were sheltering there. This isn't always a bad thing, the snow itself provides them shelter. Visibility was very poor, but I knew roughly where the sheep would be and knew they would be bunched together so I didn't need to cover a lot of ground. The biggest problem was that I couldn't distinguish snow drifts from background snow, and kept getting the quad stuck. Anyway right at the top of the fields was a bunch of twenty or so sheep, and two sheep sized mounds of snow that had separated themselves from the others – a sign they were lambing. For once catching them was no problem (they never saw me coming) their fleeces rattled with ice as I loaded them into the trailer. Once I'd warmed my hands up enough to open the gate, I got them back to the shed and lambed them.

Next morning it was colder and the wind was stronger. The snow was mixed with tiny icy pellets that stung and froze at the same time. I had to abandon Mrs Prendrelemick at the first big drift. (That sounds bad, but we were only 10 yards from the back door.) I pressed on, I always think if there's a possibility I might be able to do something I should try. This time it was hopeless, I just couldn't see anything, I couldn't face into the wind at all. I retreated back into the kitchen.

There were about 150 week-old lambs out in the storm, but I wasn't that worried, as long as they're with their mothers and can get at the milk they can survive the odd blizzard. It was the newborns that would have no chance. As it happened only two lambs died, one abandoned in the middle of a field and one on its own under a drift. Luckily, and unusually for sheep, nothing decided to lamb that morning. By Nine O Clock the snow stopped and this being Britain the sun was out an hour later and the lambs were skipping up and down the hills again. ]]> prendrelemick http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12401 Yale Open Courses http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12399 Tue, 15 May 2012 18:32:41 GMT I'm not sure if someone has already brought up this amazing resource, but Yale University has posted an entire semester worth of lectures for an Introduction to Theory of Literature Class. It's taught by this very well respected professor there, Paul Fry. I'm on the 4th lesson right now--and I'm so excited and thankful that this resource is available! Looks like this course is going to cover so many of the ideas I'm interested in: Heidegger, New Criticism, Russian Formalism, Deconstructionism, etc.

I was hoping some others would be interested in starting discussions on the videos! He is very, very clear--I don't have the text he uses and he has many handouts that I don't have access to either, but I still feel that I can somewhat understand what he is talking about. Maybe I will get the text, just for reading.

Anyway, here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YY4C...0D35CBC75941BD ]]> shortstoryfan http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12399 Surprisingly Easier Than Expected http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12398 Tue, 15 May 2012 02:04:17 GMT ...so far. The eye operation went ahead as planned. She went in, told the surgeon that she had a tickle in her throat. He said it'd be fine but she had to warn him if she was about to cough so he could stop. She tells me that she didn't cough throughout the operation but started coughing after. They had to stick her with the needle twice because the first one didn't take for some reason. She has a follow up appointment in 2 weeks.

Also, on a similar note I had occasion to speak to Napoleon. He had his root canal on Friday and is going back to the dentist tomorrow to get the remaining unpleasant substance(s) drained. Kind of brings to mind the time the cat had an abscess on his gum. I wasn't there, I was at school, unfortunately, but I was told there was quite an impressive spray of blood and pus when the vet lanced it. I miss having a cat but anyway.

The dog's been perkier today. We gave her one of her favourite rubber chickens and she destroyed it pretty quickly, the quickest so far (we've stockpiled a few rubber chickens. She goes crazy for them). We still have about 3-4 weeks of her phantom pregnancy to get through but she seems a little happier. Still not eating properly though.

I'm going to be doing the main dog walks for a while. Not sure how long. At least it means I can wear my super cool scarf. I'm so glad I made it. I or we also have to go shopping in the week. I've forbidden mum from driving for at least a week. We'll see how long she obeys. I'm not concerned about her not seeing too well, she's managed fine with one of one and a half eyes for a while. I'm worried about the pain as the eye heals. If she has a slight constant pain or severe sudden pain she could suffer a momentary lapse of concentration. We didn't end up shopping on the weekend so we're low on supplies. Oddly enough I really want to be baking cakes right now. Weird huh?

Been having some weird dreams lately. Maybe I'll write about them some other time though, if you don't mind. I want to keep this short.

Bluebiird out. ]]> Bluebiird http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12398 Nightly Mishap http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12396 Sat, 12 May 2012 18:16:06 GMT I was watching one of those cooking competition shows which have become so popular these days when one of the women on the show I noticed had her... I was watching one of those cooking competition shows which have become so popular these days when one of the women on the show I noticed had her fingernails painted, and her thumbs were done in red and the rest of the fingers done in black and this gave me an idea. I decided to paint my nails in alternating black and red, I thought it give it an Alice in Wonderland vibe to it.

I believe I have mentioned once before that one of the things of which I do not like about painting my nails is I haven't the patience to wait for them to dry, so now I paint them right before going to bed to dry while I am sleeping.

I go into the bathroom, and it is late, I am tired, I don't feel like turning on the main lights in the bathroom because they would be too bright, there is a nightlight on, and I open the medicine cabinet where I keep my nail polish, and of course I have a preference for dark colors, and I grab what I thought was the black.

I go to my room, and turn on the bedside lamp, which also is dimly lit, and I paint my nails, go to bed and wake up to discover lo and behold, it was of course not black but a dark purple, and I was agitated because it was not what I wanted, and plus the red contrasted against the purple color made it look too pink which I cannot stand, so the whole thing looked stupid. So I had to remove the purple and redo it with my black.

Also coincidently I happen to be reading a book called The Red and the Black right now. ]]> Dark Muse http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12396 Essay http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12395 Fri, 11 May 2012 22:39:22 GMT So, finally, three months after saying I wanted to write an essay, I began yesterday. I think the essay is going to end up being a sort of critique... So, finally, three months after saying I wanted to write an essay, I began yesterday. I think the essay is going to end up being a sort of critique of poetry criticism, and will deal heavily with ideas about Deconstructionism, "Death of the Author", and the decentralization of language, and my experiences of viewing the world after the language's true nature has been uncovered to me. Or at least, the nature I perceive. It's not going to be a work of genius, will not even make sense most likely, and will be riddled with flaws, but already I feel that through the writing I am gaining new insights about some common statements we have heard in the last century or so regarding poetry. I think a lot of the ideas we have all been exposed to in a general way have been misunderstood. Or I could misunderstanding things. But at least it's a start, and at least I feel that the ideas floating around are starting to take on a form I can deal with more easily! ]]> shortstoryfan http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12395 <![CDATA[Things Aren't Going Swimmingly]]> http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12394 Fri, 11 May 2012 03:26:07 GMT It's been raining. A lot. Seeing as I rarely go outside getting wet isn't so much of a problem. I used to like the rain. But like everything, too much is not good. The sky is depressing. Even I am starting to miss the sunshine. I can't see the stars at night either. Also when the dog gets wet we have to dry her. Even if it's not raining the ground is still wet so we have to dry her paws. She doesn't like when I dry her paws, I'm a little too invasive and she tries to bite me. She's just ticklish. It's actually pretty cute. Even though Yuki is a husky (a dog that I'm told does not have such a strong doggy smell) she still stinks when she gets wet. It's worse when she's gone in a pond though, that really is bad.

Mum's boots are breaking already. Normally she wouldn't have to worry about footwear much but since she does the long walks her shoes and boots break very quickly. Also, due to her wide calves and broad feet it's hard to find comfortable boots. The ones that do fit keep splitting at the back.

Yuki is about 4-5 weeks into another phantom pregnancy. We assume it's a phantom pregnancy, since she's acting like she did last time. She doesn't eat (I have to threaten to steal her food to make her eat). She doesn't play as much and she's moody. Once it's over we plan to get her spayed, regardless of cost (spaying is surprisingly expensive. That's not why we've put it off though). She's also started picking up bones and other things on walkies a lot more. She's shortening her walks and we suspect worms. Well, mum suspects. I haven't seen the physical evidence but I'll take her word for it. We wormed her a couple of weeks ago. It might not have been a worm. It could just be the result of the unknown things she's been picking up at night.

Mum's caught a cough. Not a cold as yet, just a cough. I find that usually you get the sniffles or a sore throat, then branch out into a cold and then a cough but there are different cold bugs out there. She can't get sick. Her cataract operation is on Monday. If she gets sick they might not do it, especially if she's coughing. Thank you very much woman at work who has infected her, I've forgotten your name because you're unimportant to me but curse you nonetheless.

On the subject of coughs and colds. I've been holding back a cold for quite some time. I take daily multivitamins and hope my body will absorb as much as it can from them. Sometimes I get a blocked nose or sneeze a few too many times but so far it hasn't developed into an all out cold. If my throat gets a bit sore (usually at night) I pull the duvet up around my neck and even if I start to feel too hot I keep the covers up in the hopes of sweating it out so to speak. If I still don't feel well I may drink some orange juice if we have any or wear a scarf and keep myself warm at all times. I'm not sure how effective any of this is but it seems to work so far. Then again, since I don't go out I'm less likely to catch a contagious cold from other people. I'd rather try not to get sick than to get sick. I hate cold medicine. They taste nasty and I can't take those capsules they do these days because I can't swallow pills. Ah. I tell a lie. I can't swallow capsules. But little round, sugar coated pills I can swallow. As for those without the nice shiny coating, it's hit and miss.
Napoleon either had a root canal last Friday or is having one this Friday. I think it's this Friday.

I wanted to try making melon bread today but I haven't used the flour for a while and it got those little bugs in it. You know the ones? So small you almost wouldn't notice them. They tent to pop up in old flour. I wonder how they get there. Were they always there just waiting to hatch or did they get in? Not that it matters. Here's a shocker. Melon bread doesn't contain melon. Heh. Who knew. It's named after it's resemblance to the cantaloupe I think. I also fancy having a go at chocolate cornets but I need to make some horns for those.

I've been having trouble sleeping. Not uncommon for me. It's not serious insomnia so I'm not too worried about it. It's just that, when I'm alone in my room, in the dark I start to wonder if I'm a real person. Suppose. Now just suppose that it were possible to erase someone's memory and replace it with a new one (like in something like Total Recall if you like). How would you know? Supposing I just came into existence yesterday and not 24 years ago. How would I know?
On this subject.
How about what if the world isn't real? Supposing I'm the only being in existence and I've made up the whole world around me. No. I don't think I'm God. That's not the point of this. Supposing I were, say the last human in existence on an alien spaceship and to stop me going crazy they've constructed all this in my mind. How can I be sure this is the real world?

Yeah. I know. I sound crazy huh? That's why I don't say these things. I know...at least I'm pretty sure this is the real world and that I have been alive for 24 years or so. It's just, sometimes I think about these things.

Thing is, recently I've been thinking these things more.

On the plus side, that's not all I've been thinking about. I'm still thinking up cute scenes and back stories for my novel. Can you believe I've finally named my evil wizard? It's only been what 2-3 years. Supposing I actually do manage to put this story together, write it up and get someone in the business interested in it. Will I be able to let it go I wonder. Once you finish it it has to go out into the world otherwise what's the point?

Although, to ease the passing of this story I've already considered elements of a sequel so I can always put my heart and soul into that once this one is finished. I think my idea for the next one will be more fun but I'm trying not to get too far ahead of myself here. I know exactly how the first one ends and I know how it begins (although it's not as fun as the rest of it) and I have a few bits of the middle. I've tried rewriting the story but it just won't start well. I wonder if I should focus on the middle and come back to the start...but that's a risky move. It's like Frankenstein. It starts getting interesting during the whole theatrical lightning, it is a live kind of cinematic moment but up until that point it's kind of...boring? Slow? something just doesn't quite grab you. I had to study it at Uni. By the way. Victor. Total idiot. Brilliant mad scientist, yes. But an idiot nonetheless. He goes to the trouble of creating life. Well done I guess. But rejects the poor creature the second it lives. No wonder things don't work out. Anyway. I can't' critique it anymore because it's been a while since I had to read it.

Surprisingly, I'm not actually depressed. Things just aren't as good as they could be. But then again there's nothing bad either.
We'll see how things go.
I may not be liking the rain now but I'll be wishing for it when Summer hits I'm sure :).

Bluebiird out. ]]> Bluebiird http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=12394