No patience...? Hmmm...How 'bout "chilaxing"?
Thank you for your comments people. patience...yeah, i know the word...but it has never been to my liking patience....it brings to my mind images such as waiting for the bus to come for endless hours, standing up and with my feet hurting me. not a relly pleasant situation.
The questions you ask yourself, about your purpose, about your place on this earth - and the frustration of the misunderstanding will, I believe, subside.
It is my belief that we aren't always born or live in a place comfortable enough to call "home".
Once you find people like you - once you go places which make you happy, things, people and places you connect with - that darkness will subside.
That I can promise you. Just be patient.
rich you think i am a special lady? what a gentleman! but it seems really easy to become a special lady then if you think i am one of them seriously, special? sounds awkward, sweet and funny to my delicate ears thank you. and i hope you had a great valentine's day together with your lady!
Your time will come in its proper time and you will be blessed indeed at the joy that shall result. Continue to grow into the special lady you already are and wait for God's perfect timing. You will not be sorry.
thank you all guys. well, i enjoyed writing this entry myself. and virgil, thanks for the flowers, i adore yellow and orange roses! a friend called me yesterday to ask me if he should wish me a happy valentine's day. i said yes, and his reaction was 'oh, we have some news here? what has happened?'. but he was disappointed to find out that i had not found a boyfriend, i just told him i was celebrating love because i am not in love with a specific person but with love itself he tried to explain me i was wrong (well, he is head over heels for his girlfriend), but it was no good, i don't bite!
but i had a really nice valentine's day. after all, it's the first time they send me a letter. two years ago, in highschool, a schoolmate proposed me with a ring. haha! hilarious moments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
be with someone who makes you dream of tomorrow, and live with him like there is no tomorrow. love deeply, cause you deserve to feel your heart beating faster. love deeply cause we all deserve to hear someone's heart beat fast. cause everyone needs and deserves to feel the magic of love surrounding us.
Beautiful ... simply beautiful.
I truly hope that you had a lovely Valentine's Day, Maraki. Your words hit home with me this evening; thanks for this entry!
Marvelous blog Mara. I enjoyed this. And to those that think it's all comercial, well, why is it that people feel obligated to give their love something special one day of the year? It's becasue we want to. Nobody is forcing us. We do it because we think it's a great idea. If you don't then don't participate.
You also said this that made me laugh:
what can i say, people don't fall head over heels for someone easily these days
Oh I bet they still do. The econonmy does have any ties to our hormones.
Here are some flowers for you Mara for being such a sweet young lady.
Flattering first I think then annoying when you drive yourself mad trying to figure it out. Sometimes you just have to let go - I know easier said than done.
Dori hang in there and Happy Valentine's day to you and everyone
What are we to do if we love someone, and they know it, but aren't willing to love you back?
And you can't get over them?
As you can tell, my Valentine's day has been just peachy...
yeah, it is strange how annoying things can be flattering at the same time
you got a poem too?well, perhaps we have a lot of poets around here. or a poet with lust imagination imagine we received the same poem from the same person? now, that would be funny! i just hope it was from a guy....for i know i won't get an answer to this...
yes, areon't these secret valentine's annoying! who wrote me this poem? it's annoying but flattering.
and thank you for this kind post i appreciate.
I back the exercise suggestion. I have frequent feelings of well.. I don't even know what you call it.
But exercise ( I run every morning ) plus writing ( poems, stories, novel drafts ) even if it has no purpose other than to serve yourself, helps, I promise.
I only really skimmed this blog but I'm going to read it again later and give some other thoughts
Man ! that is so sad..
Sounds like me when i feel so sick of everything .. i just write..
Yet u need to have a little faith in ur self.. & try to face the life .. My best friend said once " LIFE IS CHANGING "
though i dont think so .. but i try to pretend..
coz that is the only way i can survive this harsh days.
wish you all the best.
Maraki, Virgil's advice is good. Very good. And I think the best thing about dreams is their unattainability, if you can reach them then maybe you need better dreams. But you can't reach yours, or can't seem to just yet and that is good. You have good dreams. Don't give up hope.
The day I stopped asking the question: 'why am I here' was the day I started living. Sometimes why isn't the right question to ask. Sometimes (and if you knew me better you'd understand the irony of this statement) it is better not to ask. Just do. The meaning of your life is what you make of it and you've got lots of time to do that.
And you're not on your own. Many people feel as you do at some point in their lives. I hope there's some small consolation in that.
I bet there's lots more that's 'good' about you besides resilience. For one, you write really nicely
thank you really much, both of you. i try to convince myself as well that the world is full of perspectives, but my dreams seem so hard to be achieved... the only good thing about me, is that although i hit bottom at times, at the end i never give up for some reason. instict of survival? maybe....
and virgil i know your advice is good, actually, it's the same thing i would advice someone to do, but it is a bit difficult to take the decision and act. maybe my emotions need to do their circle and then i will be able to face the world again and see the brighter side.
Virgil gave some good advice, but I know it's hard to motivate yourself when you're in that state. What you're feeling isn't nonsense; I can tell by what you have written. You are so very young and your dreams can be achieved in time. That special someone is out there, but you won't find them cooped up in your room. you have to go out and the world and experience life. What is your purpose? You have the opportunity to create it.
First thing Mara is to get out and go somewhere, the library, a friend's house, shopping. Don't stay enclosed. I think enclosed spaces for a long period of time repress. Second, if you do any sort of exercise, like jogging or tennis or whatever, get out and do it. Exercise re-orients the mind, sort of reboots it. Third, you can't blame your parents if they asked and you "did not wish to answer." If you feel comfortable, you tell them how you feel. Fourth, you need a friend or two. Isolation distorts reality. There is a normalizing effect to being in a group. Of course I mean a good and decent group, not a dysfunctional one. I hope you have some friends you can trust.
Now as to some of your wild claims.
are my dreams ever coming true?- i guess not.
am i going to find the one i am looking for?- probably not.
i feel like i stuck out. like i don't belong here. i am different. not special, by no means better than the others, but i am different. i feel like i was not meant to be here. but then where?
Mara, you're 19. I know that is an adult, but you still have a ways to go before you can say dreams aren't coming true or you won't find the person you're looking for. I bet within 5 to 10 years several of your dreams will come true and you wll find that special someone. And still you'll be a young 29. Hey I'm 47 and still all my dreams haven't come true. It takes time and perseverence and action. Sitting in your room is not going to change anything. Now never ever consider yourself not special. We are all special. You are special. We are individuals and obviously you are a sensitive individual, and if you are an individual then you can't help but be special. In time you will find where you belong, if not in Athens then some other city some other place. Things will settle in. Don't worry. I hope I helped. And take some of those suggestions I gave. They may help.
I'm such a dunce when it comes to a language other than english. It's amazing to me that people on lit net that are from non-english speaking countries are so fluid with english. And in the case of Greek, a whole different alphabet.
don't ... teach me Greek! :)