O-o-o-h. That is really good Alakungfu. You actually managed the most difficult feat, telling an oft-told story from a new viewpoint. Your use of language is marvelous, it sounds very Miltonian in tone and sweep. Excellent!
Quite nice. I almost said excellent, but I don't care for those concluding lines.
This is beautiful!
As for writing lists, if I look at a poem that way, it does lend an air of immediacy and obstructs a feeling of monotony from including itself.
The specificity of this is good, and it prompts me to go ahead with an idea I had last night. By the bye, I read years ago that one characteristic of female writers is their penchant for making lists. Do you think that's true? Maybe it has something to do with our being "detail oriented."
Nice. Almost like the Billy Joel song, "We Didn't Start the Fire."
I think the ending was the best part:
That the work can still stay**
. . .Listering leaves
The milliner weaves
In a herringbone page boy cap
For a coy toddler's toy bear's nap.
Like it, a lot. The rhythm is just awesome.
<a href="http://www.atoncer.com/trading-cards/ccg/yugioh.htm"> yugioh cards </a>
<a href="http://www.atoncer.com/trading-cards/ccg/ccg.htm"> ccg collecting </a>
<a href="http://www.atoncer.com/comics/platinum-age/main.htm"> platinum age comics </a>
<a href="http://www.atoncer.com/comics/magazines/main.htm"> comic magazines </a>
<a href="http://www.atoncer.com/comics/comic-art/main.htm"> comic art collecting </a>
Thank you. To be honest, this is the poetry I wrote before I found LitNet. I joined to brush up my skills. My poetry is self-published in my book, "Freed Reams With a soft jacket."
Kung Fu, your poetry has taken a leap. This is another good one. What have you changed? Your line has perfect rhythm, and rise to nice crescendo. This is wonderful:
A work of art,
Simple in line,
Effusive in tone,
Dramatic in hue,
Perfect in proportion,
Secret in technique,
Warm in perception,
Deep in perspective,
Close in intellect,
Drenched in empathy,
True in execution,
Ultimately a soft image.
Simple in tone and in perfect proprtion, just like your poem. Very nice. That section is worthy of a great quote for eternity.
Oh my gosh Kung fu, this is your best poem! That is wonderful. Kudos. I am in awe of this.
This is lovely alakungfu
Thoughts on communication? The third stanza indicates that, but I don't know... you have a gift for rhyme that I wish I possessed!
It's debating the essence of reality between the fabric of light and the fabric of shadow, if that helps. To me, it's a metaphor for poetry, can you qualify it in any form of fabric or is it utterly imperceptible at best of times?
I like it, too, especially the last two stanzas, even though I'm not sure what it's about. What is it about, alakungfu?
I quite enjoyed this, lovely haunting and dark imagery
Anyone falling in love?
Thank you, Dark Muse. In fact, I guess I really was trying to compliment Robert Browning's sense of humour.
Haha interesting persepctive on it, this was quite amusing.
Very pithy, alakungfu. I especially like Mother.