Nostalgia

Okay, I know I said I was not going to complain any more about anything, but like almost every promise I've ever made, I'm going to break it.
I have lately been trying to get ahold of some ammunition for the coming hard years for the arms-bearing citizens of this nation. I've been trying to track down ammunition since I got back to Colorado in September. No such luck. Apparently, Mr. President wants to make it SO incredibly difficult for me and every other responsible shooter in the country ...

I wander the streets of mortality, pondering my own insignificant purpose
I feel as if I am to be somewhere, yet knowing I am nowhere, feeding on loneliness

My heart aches for a joy long gone
A perverted sense of time, a twisted emotion
Ravaged beyond recognition.
Sent to a Hell, a vile force that seeks out the wounded and sacrifices the weak
That devastates the pained, wrenching out hearts and souls alike, no grievances to mull

Memories ...

I just got ****ed out of 600 dollars for taxes. How has your day been?

I feel like raving right now. No particular reason, just it hasn't been a very good afternoon. My topic of piss-me-off-ness: people. Nobody in particular, just everybody. I wish I had a dollar for every time I called someone, knowing they wouldn't answer and knowing they wouldn't call me back. So, counting everyone I know, not people I'm related to (which is quite a lot, believe it or not) I have one friend that will return my phonecalls. Out of however hundreds of people I know. Maybe it ...

I'm tired of the constant waiting, the constant wonder, the constant feeling of impending loss.
I'm sick to death of wondering if we'll ever make up for lost time, or if I'll be stuck in this limbo, this endless . . . area in my consciousness that nothing productive ever comes from. I'm tired of missing you, even though I told myself I was glad you're gone. Even though I am almost certain you're never coming back. I wish things could be differently, but deep down I knew this would happen. ...