Living Breathing Contradiction...

was it not just yesterday I a 14 year old little girl joined this page desperate to find some commodore with someone, anyone who could even kind of understand me... So how is it that I log back on today 20 years old, a newly wed, expecting a little bundle in August...Where has the time gone? The changes of time are evident on litnet, and over time we have lost some of our members but have also gained so many. I use to sneak to the library at lunch time to check on how things where going on here- ...

I use to know so many on this thread, it use to be my sanctuary, the place I came to get away from the daily dread I live every day. Some think im arrogant, but very few see the scared insecure girl hiding behind these eyes. There are those girls that say they are fat or ugly just to get a compliment. than there are those like me who never say it, because we honestly believe it and the standard no your not, just makes us more upset that people lie to us. Society and the mirror imprint on us that ...

So a turn of recent events has demonstrated the lack of reason for me being here after 4 years. I'm neither wanted nor will I be missed and it seems the few people I came around for when I could, I was not enough- good enough, here enough, happy enough, loving enough...ect. So for the best interest of everyone. Have a great time and goodbye.

hmm. seems forever since I have blogged so here goes nothing-

I'm sorry to the many people who feel neglected or that I no longer care about you. This is not the case. The truth is I feel like I've Jumped into an undercurent with life vest for everyone but me- and I can't swim... Everything that can go wrong, has and than some.

The house was broken into-The Landlord is at a record high duche bag level and my finances are in ruins at no ones fault but my own, I am way ...

So I have been bothered by this reacurring dream of a little girl maybe nine, she has pale skin and long black hair and she chants -dont go to sleep, dont go to sleep, he will surely get you and the whole world will weep- I have no clue where that comes from? Have googled it to no results. I generaly jerk awake choking like something is strangling me, to this thing over me, he is always surrounded by a red tint- And I suddenly catch my breath and he is gone, But I always hear that phrase as I regain ...