description
from the kitchen i navigate D stairs to the bathroom, and L more from there to my room once upon a time i was afraid of falling - isn't that every pregnant woman's worst nightmare? but then i became excited so i stopped just counting stairs, i wanted to teach you letters too your 5 year-old brother has already borrowed my copy ...
i am in the kitchen studying o-chem making muffins. my despondency leaks into the batter out of the D-glucose onto the blender and under my tongue; i taste the swirls of pain the absence of her laugh, her smile, the absence of her angel eyes and am startled when handel breaks in upon my silence with "hallelujah!" and various other choral ...
gouge me with a turret and clean out my pores, scatter my bones so that vultures can sing i'd like to pretend that i am still clean but the mirror of hades is grinning at me
***this still awaits revision and is not the finished version*** i have been thirsty- i do not mean like one in the desert; that i could stand. i have craved water with it all around holding my cup out under rivers tumbling cascading heavily threatening to drown but my cup remains empty i cannot be cleansed and the guilt remains tattooed on my skin ...
i would have loved to have brushed your hair and kissed your cheeks you were perfect, precious if i hadn't cried i wouldn't have seen i think you would have blinded me when you came to me i miss you my love, my little girl. you should have been born today it kills me to live without you i wish i could have seen you in the dressing room told you how beautiful ...