today is June 17. our national holiday, the only good thing about this day is that I don't have to go to work. I can't stop thinking about what my doctor told me yesterday, cellular changes... she told me not to worry but it's hard knowing that you have to wait six months before you know if something is wrong. I just hope everything will be OK, I was never scared of death until I had my boys, I don't want to leave them behind, I just want to be with them forever. aaarrgh I'm not gonna think about ...