Shannanigan's Search for More...

I step with caution, listening after each placement of my foot on the damp, soft earth for other nearby footsteps. To hear some may mean I am being followed, but so far, only the hardly audible sounds of my socks sinking into the thick dirt and my arms parting the tall, thick blades of grass around me have pierced the silence.

I continue forward, suddenly unsure of what exactly I am doing here. What am I looking for? Why am I worried that I am being followed? Where did I just come ...

My elbow keeps twitching. I didn't even know there was a muscle there that could twitch!

Anyways...I am entirely exhausted now, and not just mentally, but physically. I ran the 3.1 mile (5k) race yesterday and even improved my time (though it is still an obscenely unimpressive time). I feel wieghed down, my body did not want to roll out of bed this morning, but I have to get to my last class before exams and I have to work at the Writing Center because this week is...

...

Sooooo many ideas, and forget so little time, try no time at all.

Ideas ideas everywhere but not a moment to write. Ugh.

Lately, while being forced to churn out academic paper after academic paper, my craving to run away screaming from the world of research and swan dive into my safety net of creative short stories and poems has become harder and harder to ignore. I crave the high school days when homework took no more than two hours a night and then I could just sit ...

I will never understand exactly why it is that, even though it feels so good to lay down in a nice comfy bed at the end of the day, it can be hard to get comfortable and fall asleep...but then you wake up in the morning and those sheets and that comforter and those pillows all seem to be wrapped around you in such a way as you don't want to let them go.

At least this has been my experience.

I just find it so hard to drag myself out of bed lately, it's just too tempting ...

It's really strange to sit and look at who I've become. I remember at the age of 12 lying in my top bunk above my 10-year-old sister, staring at the closet door with our crayon drawing taped up on it, and thinking to myself "Am I going to be 12 forever?" It wasn't a heppy thought...12 was going by too slowly for me, and it was a painful time for me because of family matters. I also remember thinking at the time "One day, a long time from now, I am going to remember thinking this tonight." ...