Creative Writing

Any feedback would be great. It's in free verse but I'm still not sure about line composition and stanzas. Are all sonnets in metre? If so the in the line 'sonnets in metre' - 'in metre' would be reduntant.

Maybe I don't need the last line of the poem? Is it better with or without?


You don't know what it's like
wasting so so many years of your life

it's like chasing dandelions
in a gale
almost, almost in your grasp ...

Here is another attempt at writing a poem:

Tangled bed sheets soiled with regretted passion
Last night was the last time, she said, he said only
you I want. Heaped on the floor, face ashen,
with yearning, fingers clinging to his shirt, fondly.
Late sun’s rays and morning’s noise wakes her from sleep,
Sepia dreams of innocent bisque doll
gently fades away; now severed and cheap.
How lost – years lost! Misplaced love, it ...

Girls should always be weary
of men who talk so airy
for it means by talking such sweet love
they've had much practice laying above.


(I've decided to start writing poetry! Don't know where this came from, was just writing on jonjit's wall that I mistrust men who are so poetic (like himself) ....)

p.s should that be 'lying' or 'laying'?

(I'm still working on it so apologies for mistakes. Enjoy!)

Sylvia Plath waited anxiously. Finally the front cover opened, it sounded like an old creaky door, she was ushered in and the front cover was slammed shut.

It was Friday night. Every Friday a new comer joined them on the Chair. They came out of space. Nobody stayed for long. The Hand (bless the hand) would come for you sooner or later. Sometimes in the dead night; sometimes early morning; but sooner or later ...