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Della~Moon
05-30-2003, 05:54 PM
When you feel like you have nothing left but sorrow,
know that the sun will rise for you tomorrow.
Should hope seem lost admits grey skies and fear,
remember the countless reasons you are here.
We have been given the beauty of the stars at night,
and the hills revealed by dawns first light.
Yet we pass these things by and say I’ve seen it before,
does no one see the simple wonders of life anymore.
What if you could never again speak the words I love you,
what would you say if this was your last breath or two?
What if you never got a chance to see the world once more,
never another sunset, mountain, forest or bird soar.
Remember to embrace the wonders held by each day,
you have one life to live appreciate it before it is taken away.

:oops: not very good i know :rolleyes: :oops:

Koa
05-31-2003, 02:36 PM
Maybe the theme is not the most original, but i thing the language etc is ok. I won't say more because positive poems tend not to appeal me (but that's me...).
I think maybe the rhyme is not a good idea in this case, because it makes it too rhytmical and almost like a nursery rhyme style. But at the same time, it probably suits the positive message...


PS How I wish I had the idea of writing in purple before you! ;) I love that colour :)

Della~Moon
05-31-2003, 03:08 PM
thanks for your opinion, i rarely write with optimism, (darkness rules) lol so i thought i'd give it a try

Jay
06-01-2003, 08:03 AM
I don't think it is a positive poem, but then it just might be me, maybe I consider a poem positive only when it's full of well... positivness. I like it though. And I'd say the rhyming is okay, it goes with the poem.

Tigerlily
06-01-2003, 02:10 PM
;) Personally, I like it. It conveyed a sense of hope to me and made me smile. I believe a poem can be both positive and haunting at the same time. This poem, in my opinion, fits that description perfectly. Great job Della!

Della~Moon
06-01-2003, 04:48 PM
thank you, it's just a little some thing i whiped together in like 5 min. :rolleyes: