In This Time

[firestarter]

hay everybody, here is one out of the blue for me.

In This Time.

You were alone again.
you let yourself get hurt.
she said she just wanted a friend.
who you are is now burnt.

i am in this crying place.
watching you i mean.
you are in this crying state.
in this whole where you have been.

let this body of yours heal.
for some reason you just wont.
let your emotions begin to feal.
for another, but you dont.

this time of yours is experience.
you may never know.
this intrusion of mine i hope a good interferance.
maybe this will help you move on, maybe now you wont be so alone.

Firestarter

[Shea]

I'm sorry, :oops: I meant to reply to this one sooner, but my husband suddenly decided to redo our office and now our computer is out of commission. Anyway enough with excuses. :rolleyes: I had a difficult time grasping this poem, though I like the theme of it. It almost sounded like you were trying to use imagry but couldn't quite fit it in the structure.


who you are is now burnt.

Maybe it's just me, but I got stuck on this one. The wording sort of 'tripped' me and I lost the rhyming.

But don't change the second stanza I liked that one a lot! ;)

[Phoenix_Tears]

i like the second stanza very much. it just..works. the poem is one that i very much like and i want to read more of your work.