Me in the inside

[firestarter]

hay i guess its been a little litte while for me, some things have changed.

i drowned myself in my sorrows today.
i let my selfpity consume me.
i cannot brake free from this whole.
where everything is crashing down.
where there is no one to pull me out.
such a life of mine, to let myself be pulled down.
my thoughts used to be strong.
my body limpless.
i am hungover from my own weakness

firestarter

[Della~Moon]

wow! I love it, you seem to have such a deep passion for sorrow (like me lol :rolleyes: ) and you have an excellent rhythm and movement

[firestarter]

thank you della moon, i very much appreciate your appreciation for my poem, lol.
firestarter

[Della~Moon]

your welcome firestarter, (just don't start a fire any where near me K hun LOL ;) )

[Phantom]

In all i liked it alot.
I really liked the last line for some reason. :P

[Shea]

Your poem was great! I really liked the first line, the way it sounded made drowning your self in your sorrows sound like a commonplace thing for you. It helped to set the tone for the rest of the poem.


i cannot brake free from this whole.


To me this line made the poem. It sounds like you want to detach from your sorrows, but as I read on, the word 'whole' was transposed in my head to 'hole'- 'where everything was crashing down.'

What a wonderfully sad poem!

[firestarter]

thank you shea, that is one of the best reviews that i have received from any of my poems yet, and the rest of you.
firestarter

[Jay]

I see sorrow and other negative feelings are your favorites. I like the way neither of you avoid expressing negative feelings, life isn't only about happiness. If it would be, it would be boring in no time.

[Della~Moon]

well said Jay, to true.

[Koa]

I agree...let's vent our bad feelings in poetry eh eh! ;)


I cannot brake free from this whole

I don't actually get it... :rolleyes: lol at first i thought it was just spelling mistakes and you meant 'break free from this hole'... Then i realised that 'whole' makes sense...but what about 'brake'? :rolleyes: (of course i know what it means- i think- but i can't actually get the image...) Could you explain the line to me? I'm a little dumb... ;)

[american_bad_angel1407]

Wow firestarter, I'm impressed. You seem to contain a deep, intimate infliction of heartache. Nice work!