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maps2011
06-22-2011, 07:03 AM
You loved my smile
I smiled not
You loved my eyes
I looked not
You loved my voice
I spoke not
You loved my love
I loved not



Now I smile
You smile no more
Now I look
You look no more
Now I speak
You speak no more
Darling now I love
You love no more?

MystyrMystyry
06-22-2011, 07:45 AM
That was good, though the look/looked I'm not sure about - I mean I get it and you needed to change it from eyes/look in the first stanza and 'You eye no more' wouldn't have worked, but it's just a nitpick.

I like its simple truth.

maps2011
06-23-2011, 08:24 AM
thanx a lot :) and lol yeah I wasnt sure about look/looked
part too. Had no option so had to go for it.
thanx again,,,