Do you remember dancing along to harry?

[Biggus]

Do you remember?
When first we met
When we were set up
By our so called friends
Tony and Gwen,
Who quickly abandoned us?
A quick introduction
Then they were gone
Leaving us with each other
How awkward was that?
Being left with a complete stranger
You would never have chosen me
In a million years
And you were not my perfect choice
I had someone different in mind altogether
But their we were
Having to make small talk
With an unsuitable partner
Making do for the moment
While planning an escape
Then the music started
And I asked you to dance
You reluctantly agreed
I wasn’t bothered either way
I thought just one dance
Then I could desert you
With a clear conscience
Then just as we walked, hesitantly,
Onto the dance floor
The up tempo number ended abruptly
And for a moment there was nothing
Just the two of us feeling foolish
And wondering just how
We could leave the dance floor with our dignity
Then the music began again
And Harry Nilsson started to sing
We looked at each other briefly
And resigned ourselves to our fate
There was an awkward coming together
I gingerly put my arms around you
And we shuffled along to the music
Hoping that time would speed up
And the experience be over quickly
But as we danced along to Harry
The gap between us slowly decreased
Inch by inch until we were as one
And at that moment I felt at home
All thought of escape melted away
I never wanted to leave again
And now I wanted time to stand still
So the dance would never end
We hardly left the dance floor all evening
And when we did it was brief
So eager were we to return to our embrace
“Without you” was the song
That we first danced to
And I have not been without you since

[MorpheusSandman]

Whatever quibbles I might have over the form (I don't think such short lines work well for such linear narratives like this), I must say that you pulled me in and had me hooked from the beginning. I definitely appreciate the patience with which you relate how people can connect in even the most inauspicious of circumstances. Although, I think maybe you should do more to enhance that moment that you go from disconnected to connected. I'm still not sure how/why it happened. Indeed, maybe that's part of the mystery, but I think all narratives there has to be something that allows us to feel that connection happen. I remember writing in my review for the film In a Lonely Place that the look between Humphrey Bogart and Gloria Grahame in the police station is a great example of how something so small can act as all the catalyst an audience needs to believe that two characters have fallen for each other.

[hillwalker]

This would make a great piece of prose - the way something so arbitrary as a song can change one's life for ever.

Having said that I'm not sure this works as a poem because the first dozen or so lines had me reading this in very much a stop-start fashion.

H

[everyadventure]

Awww, this is sweet :)

[Biggus]

Thanks everyone very much and thanks to Morpheus for the detailed review, its much apreciated

Paul

[Jerrybaldy]

Oh heck Biggus, I am not sure if it is a poem but it is involving in so far as I could not have stopped until the end and it felt so honest it could not be fiction. I greatly enjoyed reading.

[Biggus]

Thanks Jerry very much