Produce

[everyadventure]

There is more to life
than selecting bananas
the perfect shade of yellow-green;
bananas that give under the pressure of a thumb.

There is more to life
than selecting bananas
that are not too large;
bananas that can be prudently eaten
in a single sitting.

[MystyrMystyry]

:banana: :banana:

[everyadventure]

I KNEW I was asking for it: the dancing bananas were inevitable!

[blank|verse]

Yes, it's a nice observation, ea, but perhaps the poem would benefit from changing tack in the second stanza and taking us somewhere else (and the title 'Produce' suggests it's going to be about more than just one example); it's a little repetitive as it stands, and I'm also thinking 'is she really talking about bananas here?' by the end; which could be the point, but also maybe not.

Anyway, I would consider deleting the word 'bananas' from line 4; this would also give you a line of iambic pentameter, which is a nice bonus.

[PrinceMyshkin]

This is a good example of the sort of poem I love, in which loonyness poses as wisdom - or vice versa!

[Delta40]

I like it too. In Australia we're all singing 'Yes, we have no bananas...' thanks to the cyclone blowing them all away...

[MorpheusSandman]

I also quite like but agree with BV's suggestion of dumping the repetition of bananas. This certainly one of those metaphorical pieces that could withstand some elaboration and variations.

[hillwalker]

On one level it's a housewife on autopilot doing her grocery shopping - on another it's her contemplating the very meaning of existence.

Nicely done.

H

[everyadventure]

Thanks, all, for your comments!

@B|V: I will pretend to know precisely what you mean when you say iambic pentameter :) But if I lose that "bananas," then I will have two lines in a row starting with "that." Hmmm... And no, it isn't just about bananas.

@Prince: Yes, I am certainly loony! And if I can pass for wise every now and again then I am quite pleased :)

@Delta: My two-year-old would be horrified to contemplate life without bananas! I must shop for them twice a week or the natives get restless.

@Morpheus: I'm happy that you realized it was a metaphorical piece!

@Hill: Yes, you're quite right. I had noticed that I am ALWAYS buying bananas, and every time I am on a mission to find the perfect ones: the right shade, size, firmness-- as thought it mattered! Or rather, as though it was ALL that mattered!

[deryk]

Change the title to 'Bananas' and it's wonderful by all accounts. I couldn't care less about economics, but your boxing gloves deflect all jabs and this was enjoyable at every angle.

[everyadventure]

@deryk: Perhaps you're right about the title. My thought, in selecting it, was that it held a sort of double meaning: I make such a production out of selecting the produce, but in the end, it produces nothing. Three days later I'm right back to where I started, prodding at fruit...

[MystyrMystyry]

http://i1134.photobucket.com/albums/m605/mystyrmystyry/image.jpg

[MorpheusSandman]

^ That's actually a really good album, too! Deep Purple's best in many years.

[Buh4Bee]

I so get this. This poem speaks to my soul.

Standing there in the produce section of the grocery store week after week, looking at all the people and wonder if this is it? Is this all there is too life? God look at that poor schmuck- thank God that isn't me. Look at the crappy bananas- not even one good enough for the baby's meal this week. Why do they pick them so early?