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Amylian
03-26-2011, 11:01 AM
Hey,

I guess this is my latest poem. I am presenting this to our glorious, and unforgotten martyrs who died in an attempt to end the days of the Tyranny in Bahrain...!! This is DRAFT ONE. So it will be changed of course accordingly. And how nice to be back here again...!!



"The Martyr's Choirs."
By Ali Makki aka Amylian


Here I sing, here I beseech:

Branches of the heedless moon sing,
And heartedly dry out our tears within,
So draw thy sword, oh loveless wind.
Howl upon the pool of tears,
Swing back and forth, strip out our fears.


Here my harp plays:

Shotguns, Sonic bombs, Tear gas, live rounds,
So strongly we face the sound of this music
To make the best for our days.


Here are my choirs:

Oh my Freedom Fighters, ye gracious souls,
I suffered a glorious death, yet I am born dignified again,
I remember the faces cold,
I remember when they hunt you,
I remember when you awake,
I remember when you achieve victory.
I remember when I sharpened the prelude to the tyrant’s end.

How serene,
How generous,
How lovely is this grave,
How pure those lilies.

Here I am delighted; no repulsive pain,
Remember, I have died, to make a better future,
To shape a true, and a happy Bahrain.

Regards,
Amylian

everyadventure
03-26-2011, 01:54 PM
This reads like a psalm, and is a beautiful tribute. Thanks for sharing.

Amylian
03-27-2011, 04:37 AM
Thanks Everyadventure...!!!

Bar22do
03-27-2011, 05:33 AM
Amylian, you too are back, welcome, welcome. Your tribute is poignant and - if sad, I hope only temporarily; good luck to freedom and democracy! Bar

Amylian
03-27-2011, 09:48 AM
Hey Bar. Thanks for passing by. I've been busy lately with all what's going on here in Bahrain. Well, at least I am still alive. (:

And Yes, hopefully Democracy will be in our reach; we need to stick on so as not to waste our Martyrs' blood...!!

PrinceMyshkin
03-27-2011, 10:12 AM
"I remember when I sharpened the prelude to the tyrant’s end" is a line that stands out for me. Some of the others are a bit awkward idiomatically or feel a bit too consciously public and heroic.

Amylian
03-27-2011, 11:23 AM
Thanks Prince. Maybe you're right since I am not a Native Speaker, this would surely affect my idiom usage or incorporation in poetry. If you can help me by suggesting alternatives, it would be appreciated...!!

MorpheusSandman
03-28-2011, 04:46 AM
While I agree with Prince I can also feel the emotion in the piece. It has a rousing quality similar to the famous St. Crispen's Day speech in Henry V, though in a different mode.