Biggus
12-11-2010, 10:37 AM
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 9
Twas the night before Christmas and at the North Pole
Some of the elves will be signing on the dole
There was a bit of a **** up with the naughty and nice list
When the elves in dispatch all got totally pissed
DEAR SANTA CLAUS
Dear Santa Claus
I have been good
I thought I’d mention that
So it’s understood
I don’t want
Something practical
Something useful
Nor educational
I don’t what
Something creative
Something arty
Or constructive
I don’t want
Something sporty
Something healthy
Not outdoorsy
What I want
Is an X-Box or a PS3
So I can escape
My boring reality
But I don’t want
You to bring me a Wii
It’s just too healthy
And drains my energy
CHRISTMAS GETAWAY
The sleigh is empty
The list is ticked
It’s back to base
Double quick
Mrs. Claus is waiting
To greet me
Fidgeting around
Quite excitedly
The bags are packed
And in the sleigh
We’re off to Florida
For a holiday
SAD SANTA
Santa Claus is depressed
Its declining standards you see
The naughty list is now so long
It needs storing electronically
Where as the good list has shrunk
And now fits on a sheet of A3
CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED
There's no Christmas this year
There will be no Christmas cheer
For Santa checked the naughty list
And found himself a naughty miss
Then picked her up in his sleigh
And then flew her off to St Tropez
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 10
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa was pissed,
He was so drunk in fact he couldn’t read the list
So the toys for the nice kids never left the north pole
And they all ended up with a big piece of coal
Twas the night before Christmas and at the North Pole
Some of the elves will be signing on the dole
There was a bit of a **** up with the naughty and nice list
When the elves in dispatch all got totally pissed
DEAR SANTA CLAUS
Dear Santa Claus
I have been good
I thought I’d mention that
So it’s understood
I don’t want
Something practical
Something useful
Nor educational
I don’t what
Something creative
Something arty
Or constructive
I don’t want
Something sporty
Something healthy
Not outdoorsy
What I want
Is an X-Box or a PS3
So I can escape
My boring reality
But I don’t want
You to bring me a Wii
It’s just too healthy
And drains my energy
CHRISTMAS GETAWAY
The sleigh is empty
The list is ticked
It’s back to base
Double quick
Mrs. Claus is waiting
To greet me
Fidgeting around
Quite excitedly
The bags are packed
And in the sleigh
We’re off to Florida
For a holiday
SAD SANTA
Santa Claus is depressed
Its declining standards you see
The naughty list is now so long
It needs storing electronically
Where as the good list has shrunk
And now fits on a sheet of A3
CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED
There's no Christmas this year
There will be no Christmas cheer
For Santa checked the naughty list
And found himself a naughty miss
Then picked her up in his sleigh
And then flew her off to St Tropez
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 10
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa was pissed,
He was so drunk in fact he couldn’t read the list
So the toys for the nice kids never left the north pole
And they all ended up with a big piece of coal