how to gather friends...?

[krisgil_aguila]

how do you gather friends?
what do you do with them?
how do you greet them?

[OrphanPip]

Um...


how do you gather friends?

With a large net.

what do you do with them?

Friendly stuff...

how do you greet them?

With a smile. :sosp:

[DanielBenoit]

Um...


how do you gather friends?

With a large net.


Nahh, I find these much more efficent:

http://www.safeguardproducts.com/images/trap_features.jpg

[Lacra]

how do you gather friends?
what do you do with them?
how do you greet them?

I don't "gather friends", I don't look for friends anymore, but if it happens to meet someone special she becomes my friend. In the same time I am aware of the fact that every friendship comes to an end. :)
What can you do with a friend? To spend a quality time together, to nourish your spiritual needs.In my case I don't have "friends for fun", my friends help me to refresh my spirit and I do the same for them, it's like a beneficial change.
How do I greet them? Very simple, saying: "Peace be upon you" :)

[TurquoiseSunset]

Nahh, I find these much more efficent:

http://www.safeguardproducts.com/images/trap_features.jpg

:D What's the bait?

[Gladys]

:D What's the bait?

Very simple, saying: "Peace be upon you" :)

Seriously though, a fine post, Lacra.

[AimusSage]

I gather friends with my giant space ship, which will sent out a beam of awesome light that traps them in a catatonic state, subsequently I will use them to serve me, do my bidding and basically have them spread my nonsense to other worlds, where I shall gather more friends. I do not personally greet my friends, instead I have them greet me in reverence, and I shall on occasion acknowledge the greeting with a good smiting of their enemies.

It is great fun!

[Katy North]

Greetings Great AimusSage!

I have traveled a million miles to see you!

Come, enjoy my sacrifices of snacks and beverages!

Now, in case you were wondering, my enemies are over THERE!

In response to the post, one does not "gather" friends. One "becomes" a friend by playing along with others in the group. I used to believe that I would sit some people down one day, play a serious game and have a serious talk, and I would gain friends. In retrospect, the only way to make friends is to be there when they need you, and goof off together in a way that is mutually pleasing. You need never define it as friendship.

[TurquoiseSunset]

I find this discussion to be very serious :yesnod:


I gather friends with my giant space ship, which will sent out a beam of awesome light that traps them in a catatonic state, subsequently I will use them to serve me, do my bidding and basically have them spread my nonsense to other worlds, where I shall gather more friends. I do not personally greet my friends, instead I have them greet me in reverence, and I shall on occasion acknowledge the greeting with a good smiting of their enemies.

It is great fun!

Hmm, sounds more like 'how to gather slaves', but an interesting method none the less :D

[Jozanny]

I do not have any friends left, and very few online contacts count. It is an unfortunate situation, since as one ages it is harder to bond, and I grew up listening to my mother gossip on the phone and telling stories over coffee, and I miss that--partly why I hung on to my sack of s--- ex for so long, but he never really processed what I needed to talk about.

Really, I literally have no one I can telephone and gab with or go out with, nothing.

[AimusSage]

As far as slaves I have none, all of them are my loyal subjects if only in my own mind, if we are discussing reality, I find that I am perfectly capable of relating to people and build a report, but then I tend to lose interest, save for those happy few that think alike. :D

[virginiawang]

To answer the three questions posted by the thread starter, I will share with you an experience of mine in my early teens.
My classmates always laughed at me by the nickname, an idiot, and my old grandma wished that I could enjoy school more than I did. She stuffed my handbag with bags of cookies each day, which was much more than I could consume, in the hope that I could share some of them with my classmates and not to be laughed at. It's an interesting sight each afternoon when a huge group of girls thronged areas around me and enjoyed cookies with me. Anyway I am gald they liked my cookies.

[Jozanny]

Mmm. People, that I have no intimate flesh and blood friends does not mean I am hoping for *more* online friends. I was just making an observation, and that is that I miss the friends I had in my youth.

Internet contacts are not really friends. I have been online 13 years. I have maybe 20 failed dates out of that, one dead professor who told me in email he was dying and damaged our relationship, one ex-boss who put me on anti-depressants because she burned me and I had a breakdown, and maybe one real friend out of hundreds of people I have posted with.

No need to reach out, okay? Thanks ;)

[Mariner]

how do you gather friends?
I make alot of friends by (seriously) being myself. I'm not shy. I'm a outgoing guy. I initiate conversations, I'm open, honest, and not afraid to be vulnerable. I can make fun of myself and my interests are wide. I feel some connection with every human being on the planet, whether I like them or not. I radiate confidence and happiness when I want to "gather" friends. People are very attracted to that.

what do you do with them?
Talk, joke, drink beer, do something wildly illegal.

how do you greet them?
We never refer to each other by name when greeting. always "hey sexy," or "hey ****er," or "sup buddy-rough."

[JuniperWoolf]

I ignored this thread because I didn't know how to answer, but I'll go with Mariner's method.


how do you gather friends?

I was either a. born in the same town with them and have been friends with them forever or b. I was just exposed to them somehow (through work, school, around town, whatever), liked something about them, and started talking to them.


what do you do with them?

Boring stuff that we do is play video games and watch movies/The Simpsons. My friends would be very boring if I let them, so I usually try to force them into doing something fun outside (sledding, sitting around a campfire, walking, whatever). We're young and living in a small Canadian town, so alcohol and weed are often involved.


how do you greet them?

"Hey" is usually my phrase of choice, unless they live in another town or city (which is very often the case), then a raucously violent embrace ensues.

[blazeofglory]

This is really a fantastic post. Seeking friends is a primal urge man lives with. There can be no cessation of seeking for friends in life from cradle to grave in fact. As a baby we want our parents to be around us and caress us on our malleable, jelly like body and our parents as a result become our best mates. When we grow up and start moving out we maybe seeking for partners, short-term or enduring friendship and we fall for someone who really care for us and want to accompany us always. But in reality a few can have such companionship and still fewer can carry it lifelong. Here on this forum also make friendship and some become closer and exchange their feelings on a personal level by writing personal messages. Today we are living in a world with thousands of networks and in a while we connect and disconcert ourselves.

Making friends today as easy as getting ice-cream and they succumb to circumstances as a piece of ice-cream does to rays of the sun. Thinking about building up relationship and breaking it is likened to the ebb and flow of a tide.
Yet friendship matters and transcends other relationships

[Gladys]

my old grandma...stuffed my handbag with bags of cookies each day, which was much more than I could consume, in the hope that I could share some of them with my classmates and not to be laughed at.

Did grandma's kind plan yield a harvest of lasting friendships?

[virginiawang]

Did grandma's kind plan yield a harvest of lasting friendships?

Only one of them became my friend. The friendship lasted for a couple of years after I graduated from junior high. She is benevolent in my eyes. I liked her very much, though my grandma always told me that she was selfish and bad. I don't believe a word from my grandma about her even now, when she and I are no longer friends. When I was very young, my grandma almost knew everything about me. Now she knows nothing.

That girl was not among all the others who called me an idiot. She gave me some other nicknames which sound funny.

[Maximilianus]

To answer the three questions posted by the thread starter, I will share with you an experience of mine in my early teens.
My classmates always laughed at me by the nickname, an idiot, and my old grandma wished that I could enjoy school more than I did. She stuffed my handbag with bags of cookies each day, which was much more than I could consume, in the hope that I could share some of them with my classmates and not to be laughed at. It's an interesting sight each afternoon when a huge group of girls thronged areas around me and enjoyed cookies with me. Anyway I am gald they liked my cookies.


Only one of them became my friend. The friendship lasted for a couple of years after I graduated from junior high. She is benevolent in my eyes. I liked her very much, though my grandma always told me that she was selfish and bad. I don't believe a word from my grandma about her even now, when she and I are no longer friends. When I was very young, my grandma almost knew everything about me. Now she knows nothing.

That girl was not among all the others who called me an idiot. She gave me some other nicknames which sound funny.

First of all, and with all due respect, your grandma was totally wrong. You don't buy respect through "superior cookie power", because as soon as you run out of cookies the disrespectful treatment will come back, and even during the deployment of cookies people will only pretend they like you... a little... just for the cookie purpose.

About the other girl, that was much closer to a friendship, cookie or not, because she didn't need to go through the "cookies to get to know you" grandma's method.

Parents and grandparents often make the terrible mistake of getting children into "buying" what people are not willing to give for the sole reason that it is correct to give it, that is, the decent amount of respect that everyone deserves to receive. It's disgusting.

[virginiawang]

I don't like myself at that age. I was being quite stupid, a pedant indeed.

[Maximilianus]

I don't like myself at that age. I was being quite stupid, a pedant indeed.

That's why it is called adolescence. We adolesce at that age, that is, we are evolving.

[Jozanny]

I need outlets that I don't really have anymore myself, and I have no viable option I can think of to solve it. My ex so called activist friend was out on the bench today, and I get upset because he won't tell me how his partner is doing (other than dying) so we quarreled. I never really liked the one on the bench, but the partner, a transvestite, once had the mind to keep up with me, and if we do not have a future as friends, I grieve him for the past--even the one on the bench, too. He is as *in the life* as they come, and has behavioral issues, but has capacity for affection.

I am just no longer welcome, either in the loser activist group, Disabled In Action, or the higher end advocacy center, which functions as a provider, and screws about 20% of the disabled employees/consumers that it gets its hands on, and I've long since fallen in that margin.

The problem with letting it *go* is I don't have anything to go to. None of the other providers would hire me or give me adequate support, not these days--the one that hurt me is the best--the others, as I said, aren't there to give me any kind of stepping stone, and their aides are as bad if not worse than what my erstwhile superiors offer.

There is the local UCPA chapter, and I am going to email them, but I am not really interested in their recreation activity schedule.

I cannot really live online. I already know that. I can't move, and a transfer in the system takes 15 to 20 years, and by then I will probably be nursing home fish food.

I could try another book club at B&N, but I just don't really know how to find new doorways and move on; it is, by nature, harder to gather friends at near fifty. You do tend to hold on to those you have, but mine are gone.

The reason I pushed the poor bloke was that I was trying to find some way back to get him to acknowledge me, that we once had a past. He told me to be quiet and I said no and then he claimed he was going to tell the manager I was harassing him. I don't know if he did, but I suppose that plateau of accomodation the dying partner still extends isn't going to happen.

I would not care if I had a better class of friends. I am not perfect, goodness knows. I take things too hard when I get hurt, but I am not a monster. From the grapevine in this community that is, evidently, a matter of debate.

****************

My family blames me for having come to the city 23 years ago to make my own way, and each side, me, and my folks, are neither entirely wrong nor entirely right, but most people who realize they need a change have the luxury of enacting it, and quite honestly, I no longer know how.

I cannot go back into the traditional work force without dooming myself to failure--not because disabled individuals cannot work--but because I need resources which are no longer available, and I cannot learn how to drive now; it would be moot, even ridiculous--so I have no options for regaining a secure salary and repairing my credit, I cannot even sit in my wheelchairs too long.

I called my aunt and told her about J---, because I feel bad. I actually still care about the two of them, and that just doesn't seem to matter anymore. To them, and their troops, I'm an outlier, because I won't play by the rules, and I want the institutions to do better, to really practice what they preach about my self-control of my own life--they will practice it, but not if you leave, or try something that wound up being too difficult, or were betrayed. It gets buried, like anything.

Even if my other aunt finds me some suburban place, it will not really fix anything; it is the same system, same programs, same issues, and I don't know my way around there anymore.

What I really want to do is get on a bus and drive away-- and that would really *fix* things for me.... maybe I should.

[Paulclem]

I need outlets that I don't really have anymore myself, and I have no viable option I can think of to solve it. My ex so called activist friend was out on the bench today, and I get upset because he won't tell me how his partner is doing (other than dying) so we quarreled. I never really liked the one on the bench, but the partner, a transvestite, once had the mind to keep up with me, and if we do not have a future as friends, I grieve him for the past--even the one on the bench, too. He is as *in the life* as they come, and has behavioral issues, but has capacity for affection.

I am just no longer welcome, either in the loser activist group, Disabled In Action, or the higher end advocacy center, which functions as a provider, and screws about 20% of the disabled employees/consumers that it gets its hands on, and I've long since fallen in that margin.

The problem with letting it *go* is I don't have anything to go to. None of the other providers would hire me or give me adequate support, not these days--the one that hurt me is the best--the others, as I said, aren't there to give me any kind of stepping stone, and their aides are as bad if not worse than what my erstwhile superiors offer.

There is the local UCPA chapter, and I am going to email them, but I am not really interested in their recreation activity schedule.

I cannot really live online. I already know that. I can't move, and a transfer in the system takes 15 to 20 years, and by then I will probably be nursing home fish food.

I could try another book club at B&N, but I just don't really know how to find new doorways and move on; it is, by nature, harder to gather friends at near fifty. You do tend to hold on to those you have, but mine are gone.

The reason I pushed the poor bloke was that I was trying to find some way back to get him to acknowledge me, that we once had a past. He told me to be quiet and I said no and then he claimed he was going to tell the manager I was harassing him. I don't know if he did, but I suppose that plateau of accomodation the dying partner still extends isn't going to happen.

I would not care if I had a better class of friends. I am not perfect, goodness knows. I take things too hard when I get hurt, but I am not a monster. From the grapevine in this community that is, evidently, a matter of debate.

****************

My family blames me for having come to the city 23 years ago to make my own way, and each side, me, and my folks, are neither entirely wrong nor entirely right, but most people who realize they need a change have the luxury of enacting it, and quite honestly, I no longer know how.

I cannot go back into the traditional work force without dooming myself to failure--not because disabled individuals cannot work--but because I need resources which are no longer available, and I cannot learn how to drive now; it would be moot, even ridiculous--so I have no options for regaining a secure salary and repairing my credit, I cannot even sit in my wheelchairs too long.

I called my aunt and told her about J---, because I feel bad. I actually still care about the two of them, and that just doesn't seem to matter anymore. To them, and their troops, I'm an outlier, because I won't play by the rules, and I want the institutions to do better, to really practice what they preach about my self-control of my own life--they will practice it, but not if you leave, or try something that wound up being too difficult, or were betrayed. It gets buried, like anything.

Even if my other aunt finds me some suburban place, it will not really fix anything; it is the same system, same programs, same issues, and I don't know my way around there anymore.

What I really want to do is get on a bus and drive away-- and that would really *fix* things for me.... maybe I should.

I'm sorry for your predicament Joz. It seems as though you've got a lot to contend with.

I hope you get something sorted.:thumbs_up

[Jozanny]

I promised myself not to get too personal here Paul, and I always slip up, and it annoys me, as I cannot expect posters to pull a solution of of their hats. *Jay's* (fake name) position is that because I have gone off on him I am excluded, no longer exist, and they all treat me that way. The old guard. The new people don't know, don't care, and I am not the only person in the world to get burned the way they burned me, and I didn't do anything by the legal, statutory deadline, so, okay. I have a screw loose on this--but all he had to do was reply to me the way others would if an old friend was in the hospital--and that is why I sniped. It has been ten years and he cannot give me the normal social courtesy he can give to those not on his hit list.

They have the numbers, and such power as intimidating angry demonstrators have. All I have is me, and the ableist majority still kicks when it chooses, but I will be okay, and I will try to do better to cut it out.

[Paulclem]

I promised myself not to get too personal here Paul, and I always slip up, and it annoys me, as I cannot expect posters to pull a solution of of their hats. *Jay's* (fake name) position is that because I have gone off on him I am excluded, no longer exist, and they all treat me that way. The old guard. The new people don't know, don't care, and I am not the only person in the world to get burned the way they burned me, and I didn't do anything by the legal, statutory deadline, so, okay. I have a screw loose on this--but all he had to do was reply to me the way others would if an old friend was in the hospital--and that is why I sniped. It has been ten years and he cannot give me the normal social courtesy he can give to those not on his hit list.

They have the numbers, and such power as intimidating angry demonstrators have. All I have is me, and the ableist majority still kicks when it chooses, but I will be okay, and I will try to do better to cut it out.

It's fine.It doesn't hurt anyone to get stuff off your chest. :D
You don't have to justify yourself here to anyone.

[Jozanny]

It's fine.It doesn't hurt anyone to get stuff off your chest. :D
You don't have to justify yourself here to anyone.

Thank you. In very broad terms, I know that I am not as strong as I used to be, or once thought I was, and I am not trying to set myself up as the righteous among the wicked, no. I did go off, on the boss who prevaricated, and I flipped out on Jay too, over the phone, because he was her nominal superior, and nominally involved.

Whatever she did to me, I am not proud of my depressive episode that came in its wake, but he refuses to see that I was terribly, terribly hurt, and not attacking him, even back then. Just bewildered. They all hate each other but protect each other when it comes to having stabbed me in the back. People write books about this. Institutional closure, the like.

I have the stones to complain now, but then I did not.

However futile it might be, I am going to raise my voice, because reform has to start somewhere, even as old as it is; the only way I am every going to find peace is to push, and keep at it. I am starting at the state, then I am going to the national committee, and so on.

The institutional system suffers from corruption, although I guess individuals who do not know much about IL would be surprised to learn that this is the case. It is localized, state by state basis, but it is the fault of how it was set up under the 504 rehab act. Britain has its own system, but I know Australia's is similar to ours.

[blazeofglory]

I need outlets that I don't really have anymore myself, and I have no viable option I can think of to solve it. My ex so called activist friend was out on the bench today, and I get upset because he won't tell me how his partner is doing (other than dying) so we quarreled. I never really liked the one on the bench, but the partner, a transvestite, once had the mind to keep up with me, and if we do not have a future as friends, I grieve him for the past--even the one on the bench, too. He is as *in the life* as they come, and has behavioral issues, but has capacity for affection.

I am just no longer welcome, either in the loser activist group, Disabled In Action, or the higher end advocacy center, which functions as a provider, and screws about 20% of the disabled employees/consumers that it gets its hands on, and I've long since fallen in that margin.

The problem with letting it *go* is I don't have anything to go to. None of the other providers would hire me or give me adequate support, not these days--the one that hurt me is the best--the others, as I said, aren't there to give me any kind of stepping stone, and their aides are as bad if not worse than what my erstwhile superiors offer.

There is the local UCPA chapter, and I am going to email them, but I am not really interested in their recreation activity schedule.

I cannot really live online. I already know that. I can't move, and a transfer in the system takes 15 to 20 years, and by then I will probably be nursing home fish food.

I could try another book club at B&N, but I just don't really know how to find new doorways and move on; it is, by nature, harder to gather friends at near fifty. You do tend to hold on to those you have, but mine are gone.

The reason I pushed the poor bloke was that I was trying to find some way back to get him to acknowledge me, that we once had a past. He told me to be quiet and I said no and then he claimed he was going to tell the manager I was harassing him. I don't know if he did, but I suppose that plateau of accomodation the dying partner still extends isn't going to happen.

I would not care if I had a better class of friends. I am not perfect, goodness knows. I take things too hard when I get hurt, but I am not a monster. From the grapevine in this community that is, evidently, a matter of debate.

****************

My family blames me for having come to the city 23 years ago to make my own way, and each side, me, and my folks, are neither entirely wrong nor entirely right, but most people who realize they need a change have the luxury of enacting it, and quite honestly, I no longer know how.

I cannot go back into the traditional work force without dooming myself to failure--not because disabled individuals cannot work--but because I need resources which are no longer available, and I cannot learn how to drive now; it would be moot, even ridiculous--so I have no options for regaining a secure salary and repairing my credit, I cannot even sit in my wheelchairs too long.

I called my aunt and told her about J---, because I feel bad. I actually still care about the two of them, and that just doesn't seem to matter anymore. To them, and their troops, I'm an outlier, because I won't play by the rules, and I want the institutions to do better, to really practice what they preach about my self-control of my own life--they will practice it, but not if you leave, or try something that wound up being too difficult, or were betrayed. It gets buried, like anything.

Even if my other aunt finds me some suburban place, it will not really fix anything; it is the same system, same programs, same issues, and I don't know my way around there anymore.

What I really want to do is get on a bus and drive away-- and that would really *fix* things for me.... maybe I should.

I really feel sorry for the problems you have and indeed as a friend I wish all your troubles get over