AuntShecky
02-12-2010, 03:15 PM
Sixty Stories by Donald Barthelme. New York: G.P. Putnam, 1981.
1. In “The Glass Mountain,” one of the stories in the volume, each of the 100 sentences begins with a consecutive number.
2. I'm not writing a full 100 sentences about this book, but I easily could.
3. Various websites typically have posted contrary information about Donald Barthelme (1931-1989), even down to the correct pronunciation of his surname – is it “Barth-el-MAY” or “Bar-tHELM” with a silent “e”?
4. Some sites cite his humor (very evident, though it’s not always “dark”); others label him –a bit too facilely- as “post-modern,” “surrealistic,” or “deconstructive” (a la Jacques Derrida, I guess.)
5. Now be honest: hasn't it ever occurred to you that life is senseless, more often than not consisting of a series of chaotic non-sequiturs?
6. The book was on the top shelf next to The Teachings of Don B.
7. The flyleaf of the copy of the book has this inscription, handwritten in a fine-point marker pen: “George –The best thing about giving books is inscribing them. And I'd like to inscribe this one: To Ann-Margaret –Thinking of those wonderful sixty nights in Saint-Paul-de-Vence-or was it Saint-Jeur-de-Luz? Henry.”
8. At least I think it says “Henry,” as I always have a hard time deciphering the prep school penmanship of the ruling class, especially those pretentious signatures.
9. My name is not George, Ann-Margaret, or Henry.
10. Do the math: Dividing the total number of pages in the volume (457) by 60 will tell you the average length of the individual stories.
11. My calculator from the dollar store says it comes to 7.1666666. . .(to infinity.)
12. Not quite a nice, round number now, is it?
13. The main character in the story called “A Shower of Gold” goes on a quiz show called “Who Am I?” in which the contestants are asked all manner of existentialist questions.
14. Even under the threat of being “punished,” Peterson can't really say whether or not he is interested in absurdity.
15. “You may not be interested in absurdity,” the producer tells him, “but absurdity is interested in you.”
16. Talk about absurd-- as if philosophical ontology were a subject for a tv show!
17. Even on a highbrow channel like PBS.
18. Years ago the movie critic for the New Yorker, Pauline Kael (or maybe it was Judith Crist–I keep getting those two gals mixed up) condemned the practice of film-makers who use neon signs to decry the “soullessness of neon.”
19. “How I Write My Songs” reeks with banality in order to satirize it.
20. And it works.
21. We've all gotten pretty darn comfortable with logical, linear, literal narratives, haven't we?
22. And overly enchanted by symbols.
23. “Do today’s stronger egos still need symbols?”
24. Time shifts backwards, forwards, sideways.
24. Characters with interchangeable names wander in and out.
25. Fairy tales in contemporary settings seem incongruous, but modernity may be even odder than the strangeness of fairy tales, right?
26. On the other hand, a plumber’s helper is an effective tool for climbing a mountain made out of glass.
27. You know, like a plunger.
28. Who the hell is Rosemary?
29. Susan Sontag wrote, “Real art has the capacity to make us nervous.”
30. Language is already limited, as if it were a portion-controlled item in a supermarket.
28. Somehow I think Donald Bar-thel-may is teaching me to think outside the shrink-wrap.
29. There are times when all I want to do is cry, just like the father who can't stop weeping after he gets runs over by a carriage and dies.
30. Inside the Policeman’s Ball it may look like Camelot but horror is lurking everywhere.
31. Don asks the musical question: when God died, where did that leave the angels?
32. “A bank?”
33. “The Gods not yet done with us.”
34. “Still trafficking, not dead.”
35. Are you really, really, really the King of Jazz?
36. At times I couldn't fight the urge to ask myself, “Why can't I get this?”
37 . “Where although you entertain the foremost arts and intellectuals of your time you grow progressively more despondent and depressed.”
38. It’s a cliché I know, but I “laughed aloud.”
39. It’s difficult not to want to stand up and cheer for this guy's originality.
40. “Everything he does is significant!”
41. Have you ever given birth to an emerald?
42. Miss Mandible, report to the Principal’s Office immediately!
43. “We resume the scrabble for existence in the sweet of the here and now.”
1. In “The Glass Mountain,” one of the stories in the volume, each of the 100 sentences begins with a consecutive number.
2. I'm not writing a full 100 sentences about this book, but I easily could.
3. Various websites typically have posted contrary information about Donald Barthelme (1931-1989), even down to the correct pronunciation of his surname – is it “Barth-el-MAY” or “Bar-tHELM” with a silent “e”?
4. Some sites cite his humor (very evident, though it’s not always “dark”); others label him –a bit too facilely- as “post-modern,” “surrealistic,” or “deconstructive” (a la Jacques Derrida, I guess.)
5. Now be honest: hasn't it ever occurred to you that life is senseless, more often than not consisting of a series of chaotic non-sequiturs?
6. The book was on the top shelf next to The Teachings of Don B.
7. The flyleaf of the copy of the book has this inscription, handwritten in a fine-point marker pen: “George –The best thing about giving books is inscribing them. And I'd like to inscribe this one: To Ann-Margaret –Thinking of those wonderful sixty nights in Saint-Paul-de-Vence-or was it Saint-Jeur-de-Luz? Henry.”
8. At least I think it says “Henry,” as I always have a hard time deciphering the prep school penmanship of the ruling class, especially those pretentious signatures.
9. My name is not George, Ann-Margaret, or Henry.
10. Do the math: Dividing the total number of pages in the volume (457) by 60 will tell you the average length of the individual stories.
11. My calculator from the dollar store says it comes to 7.1666666. . .(to infinity.)
12. Not quite a nice, round number now, is it?
13. The main character in the story called “A Shower of Gold” goes on a quiz show called “Who Am I?” in which the contestants are asked all manner of existentialist questions.
14. Even under the threat of being “punished,” Peterson can't really say whether or not he is interested in absurdity.
15. “You may not be interested in absurdity,” the producer tells him, “but absurdity is interested in you.”
16. Talk about absurd-- as if philosophical ontology were a subject for a tv show!
17. Even on a highbrow channel like PBS.
18. Years ago the movie critic for the New Yorker, Pauline Kael (or maybe it was Judith Crist–I keep getting those two gals mixed up) condemned the practice of film-makers who use neon signs to decry the “soullessness of neon.”
19. “How I Write My Songs” reeks with banality in order to satirize it.
20. And it works.
21. We've all gotten pretty darn comfortable with logical, linear, literal narratives, haven't we?
22. And overly enchanted by symbols.
23. “Do today’s stronger egos still need symbols?”
24. Time shifts backwards, forwards, sideways.
24. Characters with interchangeable names wander in and out.
25. Fairy tales in contemporary settings seem incongruous, but modernity may be even odder than the strangeness of fairy tales, right?
26. On the other hand, a plumber’s helper is an effective tool for climbing a mountain made out of glass.
27. You know, like a plunger.
28. Who the hell is Rosemary?
29. Susan Sontag wrote, “Real art has the capacity to make us nervous.”
30. Language is already limited, as if it were a portion-controlled item in a supermarket.
28. Somehow I think Donald Bar-thel-may is teaching me to think outside the shrink-wrap.
29. There are times when all I want to do is cry, just like the father who can't stop weeping after he gets runs over by a carriage and dies.
30. Inside the Policeman’s Ball it may look like Camelot but horror is lurking everywhere.
31. Don asks the musical question: when God died, where did that leave the angels?
32. “A bank?”
33. “The Gods not yet done with us.”
34. “Still trafficking, not dead.”
35. Are you really, really, really the King of Jazz?
36. At times I couldn't fight the urge to ask myself, “Why can't I get this?”
37 . “Where although you entertain the foremost arts and intellectuals of your time you grow progressively more despondent and depressed.”
38. It’s a cliché I know, but I “laughed aloud.”
39. It’s difficult not to want to stand up and cheer for this guy's originality.
40. “Everything he does is significant!”
41. Have you ever given birth to an emerald?
42. Miss Mandible, report to the Principal’s Office immediately!
43. “We resume the scrabble for existence in the sweet of the here and now.”