Minimalist Poetry Contest

[DanielBenoit]

In discovering the wonderous virtues of the statement "less is more" I figured that I'd create a contest in which each contestant writes a short and minimalistic poem about a chosen picture or subject (i.e., the judge can choose either a picture or a subject for the contestants to write about.)

I'm sure most of you guys know the qualifications that fit a so-called minimalist poem, which can be anywhere from a couple of words to a couple of lines or maybe two stanzas.

Ok, let's see how this goes, I'll be the first judge.

The subject is: morning.

[Virgil]

His stomach growled.
Where's breakfest?
She stopped and raised her lip.
They would both go hungry to work.

:p :p

[hack]

Purple fingers stretch across the overarching clouds
Banked, piled side by each with cracks between and
Deepest purple showing through soft edges of dawn

[DanielBenoit]

Two posters, yay, I guess it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Btw Virgil, your blog on maximalism was an inspiration :p


Ok, deadline is on the Feburary tenth, sound good everyone?

[NickAdams]

It's hard to say.
I sleep through most.
I hear good things though.

Like yesterday's and today's ...
The younger enjoyed eggs and the older, toast.
But, I really don't know.
I hear good things though.

[Virgil]

Btw Virgil, your blog on maximalism was an inspiration :p


Thank you Daniel. Even if you don't agree, I hope it openned up a way of looking at writing for you. :)

[qimissung]

medusa's needle tears
prise nighttimes' grip
from its' concrete ledge

[MorpheusSandman]

A sharp light
Dissects
The western horizon

Another night
Killed
By another
Dawn

[littlewing53]

believing the light
looking forward to dawn

[Babyguile]

This morning
smitten clouds recede at their seams
to reveal the small shy mouth
of a new sun -

offering its maternity
to the stale-scented air,
slowly creating an
exquisite morning.

[DanielBenoit]

Deadline tomorrow! :willy_nilly:

[The Comedian]

"COME ON FEEL THE NOIZE! GIRLS ROCK TH . ."
Slap! Silence.

The gloaming is orange.
The coffee is unmade.
Disturbed but alive, I smile.

[paparod]

She came,
like the scampering shrew
on the darkness of the eaves

[Silas Thorne]

I woke asleep today
checking my email I lost an hour,
time for coffee.

[DanielBenoit]

Ok, I'm in a poetic mood and am going to judge now. It's only 2 hours early so what? :p

So as a word of warning: POLLS ARE CLOSED (that doesn't make much sense does it?) and THE RESULTS ARE BEING CALCULATED. . . . . . .

RESULTS:

Virgil: Very clever and rather cute. I can imagine so much about you and your wife in that situation with just those few words (see minimalism is better :p j/k)

hack: Oh what a painting you have composed! This was my original choice, but then I changed my mind since it's vividness was not entirely emblematic to the understatment of minimalism. Still a wonderful portrait though.

NickAdams: Very very good. I like the playfulness of "I hear good things though" as well as the almost masterful touch "The younger enjoyed eggs and the older, toast." Too bad you've "slept through most", it's the best time of day for me :p

MorpheusSandman: I very much liked the simplicity of this one, and well as the breaks of the second stanza.

littlewing53: This was good, but maybe a bit too minimal. I was left wanting a bit more. That said, your avatar fits in perfectly in accompiment with your poem :p

TheDave: An exquisite poem too. I especially liked "small shy mouth" and "stale-scented air". In fact, I rather envy your use of metaphor and description which is so fresh so clear that it's like a bright morning all by itself. This was definitely a finalist.

The Comedian: Funny how similar yours and Virgil's is, I suppose you both know what the married working life is like :p Good-humour as always.

paparod: Oh how sublime! Too bad that there's so many great poems here, because it breaks my heart that I can't make you the winner along with qimi. Like TheDave's it's so wonderfully vivid and unfolds a whole atmosphere and enviroment to me (though both in a very different way). So beautiful, like music! I have a hard time believing that this was done in only three lines. Please post more!

SilasThrone: Funnily enough, while paparod and TheDave's poems are like Romanticism for mornings, this poem plays like Naturalism, for it is so emblematic to my mornings. The first line made me think "oh, that's me!" :p


And the winner is. . . . .
qimisung!

Well I do have a weakness for the use of references to Greek mythology in poems (or any kind of mythology that is), but this one left me rather cold. That is, on first reading. For upon second reading I found the final line with "concrete ledge" to just explode in sublimity of description. Funny enough, I read it again and changed my mind and decided on NickAdams poem for the winner. But then I read yours again one more time and was once more overtaken by the pitch perfect choice of words. They ring a tone and image that seems beyond analysis and description. Ack, I really I don't have I bias for your poetry, I really hope I don't :p


A friendly acknowledgment of paparod's poem is given as well. It has been so difficult in deciding between the two of you.

Great, great job everyone. This is probably the best poetry contest I've participated in so far.

[qimissung]

Thank You, Daniel-san; I would like to say you are very perceptive. This was a most interesting contest, and I found all of the entries fascinating and beautiful. I loved NickAdams-he only hears about the mornings-I wish. And paparod's was also a favorite. I love shrews, not the kind you can tame, though.

Wow. Thank you, Daniel. I am honored. The point of it all is in the writing for me; all of these are winners.

I'll have a new subject very soon, after I've taken it all in...:)

[Babyguile]

Well this was my first contest entered and I found it quite exciting! It's great to hear someone say good things about your work and you were fair, balanced and sincere ChrisBenoit so thank you for being a great judge.

Qimi is a worthy winner indeed and all poems were of very high standard and so diverse! I guess I'll have to try even harder next time can't wait for the next prompt bring it on! :D

[hack]

I think you made a fine choice.
There were so many good pieces
that you could not have done otherwise.
Mine was a bit wordy (especially for me).
I liked the look of it on the page though,
and felt that the minimalism was expressed
primarily through the mention of a single color
and a single word connecting it to the theme.
I truly liked them all, but if I were to judge
(for what it is worth), I might have picked
Nick's. Thankfully, the choice was not mine.
Good job all.

[Virgil]

Congrats Qimi. I guess this will be a new contest here for us to participate in. Fun. :D

[The Comedian]

Good contest Daniel -- very fun -- thanks for starting it.

qimissung -- congratulations! I really enjoyed your poem and many others submitted here.
Oh, and paparod's was my favorite one of those submitted too.

[qimissung]

Thank you all. I hope the next minimilist poetry contest will have as many entries. Thank You, Daniel, for starting this. It was inspired.

The next subject: a journey

[Dark Muse]

Into the Unknown

Face forward in the salty breeze
across the endless sea promising
untold possibilities, with the hope
of catching dreams beneath the waves.

[qimissung]

Nice Dark Muse! Thanks for being the first to jump in the water.

[autolycus]

Much held him back
And then he walked
Much greeted him
And he was not

[hack]

green juniper sail
on a breaking sagebrush sea
tacking through time's tides

[Virgil]

I walked from 66th street to the shore
and met her beneath the Verazano Bridge.
The moon lit the bay, the surface shimmered.
She wore a red halter with her cleavage glowing.
Her arm around my neck was tender.

[firefangled]

you fight for distance folding the maps
brain survives the body’s traffic

earth breaks on the bone of shore
with its stuttering tongue

distance breaks you from a past
conjoined to cruelty

[Pendragon]

The morning brings light,
the light brings life,
the life brings joy,
the joy brings peace.
the peace brings us back to light

Pendragon

[hack]

Hey, you guys are good!
excellent stuff

[Silas Thorne]

Well, this is on topic, but not minimalist. :) Oh well!

The Journey:

The song is lost, the song is lost and done.
The song is lost, a new song treds what road?
I looked, the words to journey by are gone,
the song is sung, the song is sung and done.

Yet without walking on, the song is lost, the song is sung,

the song is lost, a new song treds what road?

[qimissung]

Wow! What riches! This is going to be fun.

[krymsonkyng]

To measure miles in steps
Watch the scenery change

To measure a journey
Watch your attitude shift

[The Comedian]

Removed. . .

[qimissung]

Thank you everyone for your entries. This contest will end February 26.

[TheFifthElement]

On the path between daylight and darkness
sleep takes us –

electric journeys; technicolour dreams.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Every neuron has a destiny.
Every night
is morning’s unrequited love.

[DanielBenoit]

Beginning:

Odysseus,
mighty warrior


End:

Next


step





into







silence

[qimissung]

This contest is now closed. I'll have the results in the next few days. Thanks to everyone who entered!

[qimissung]

I would like to thank all of you who chose to enter this contest. I had a lot of fun judging this one. My criteria: who melded best what they said with how they said it. I guess that would be usual with anything one writes, but since this is a minimalist poetry contest, I was more aware ot that than usual.

Dark Muse faced forward into possibility.

Autolycus-our journey begins when we figure out how to take that first step.

Hack, loved the line "Green juniper sail."

Virgil, yours was one of my favorites, a walk that ends in romance. Sigh.

firefangled-breaking with a painful past is a worthwhile journey indeed.

Thank You, Pendragon, for bringing us full circle. :)

SilasThorne, the most poetical, of course.

krymsonkyng, yours was the true measure of a journey. Thank You.

Fifth took us into technicolor dreams

And Prince mused on morning's unrequited love, a master, as always, with few words.

But for me, this journey takes me to Daniel Benoit. His poem resonated so strongly between what was said, and what was not, and took me farther than I planned to go. And isn't that the point of an odyssey?

So, Daniel, choose the next topic, please.

[DanielBenoit]

Aww thanks qimi! I am once again flattered and honored.

Next topic: memory of childhood

[Dark Muse]

Flashback

Flashes
like floods
remembered blood
glimpsed from the darkness
trembling with fear
helpless
behind the closet door
screams still
echo within
dreams.

[krymsonkyng]

pebble black eyes
pearl teeth
blood

I first met
death
in a gopher trap

[DanielBenoit]

Thanks for the quick jump guys! :D

Deadline is. . . .say, March 15?

[autolycus]

nipple heavy
mother's mammary
muscle heaving
father's flung flight

[Pendragon]

I've only had one home
It's where all my memories lie
The house fell down in a flood
I was just 15

That white clapboard house on Maple Street
Haunts me in my dreams
A childhood full of innocence
Every golden memory

Pendragon

[The Comedian]

Here's my minimalist song and dance.

The Early Travels of Young Man

Rosetta Stone
Sometimes Spanish home
Choose your own
Adventure prone

Option one, option two
It doesn't matter what I do.

[hack]

alfalfa

in a field
half a snake
protrudes
from one bale
in the row
of dew scented
pillows of hay

[ktr]

One Time -

Something happened.
Regret.

[Virgil]

The girl in que in front of me
standing beneath the 6th Station of the Cross
hands folded in prayer,
eyes locked shut with inward memory
waiting for the confessional door to open
was wearing a pink frizzled blouse
with her skinny arms bare.

When the door openned,
she turned, the chestnut of her eyes met mine,
the gold of the crucifix across her chest
glowed in the candle light
and she entered.

I was eight years old too,
and I being next
rushed in mind and heart
to roll out my list of sins.

[DanielBenoit]

The contest is now closed.

I'll post results very soon. Probably this evening.

[NickAdams]

:blush: Thanks.

I've been away for awhile, but I hope I can join the next.

[DanielBenoit]

Sorry guys, I'm getting to it. There's just a bunch of crap going on right now and I'm trying to find the time.

[Virgil]

Sorry guys, I'm getting to it. There's just a bunch of crap going on right now and I'm trying to find the time.

I was wondering what happened. :lol:

[qimissung]

Sorry guys, I'm getting to it. There's just a bunch of crap going on right now and I'm trying to find the time.

Crap like in baby crap? :)

[DanielBenoit]

Hey everybody, I'm exhausted and am unable to think (just returned from a family party). I would like to say that I enjoyed everyone's poems, but the one that I liked the most was Virgils for its personal subtly and skill in understatment.

So Virgil it's your turn :D

[Virgil]

Hey everybody, I'm exhausted and am unable to think (just returned from a family party). I would like to say that I enjoyed everyone's poems, but the one that I liked the most was Virgils for its personal subtly and skill in understatment.

So Virgil it's your turn :D

Yay! Thanks Daniel.

Let's see, how about for a subject: musical memory.

[qimissung]

Congratulations, Virgil. I liked yours very much!

[billl]

Whoa, I clicked this link on a whim, and saw the stuff you all just did, and then Virgil's new idea. And then decided to try it out:

Juke Box Fury

Speakers in the window
Letting the neighborhood know
The boy over there and his friends
Can lay claim to all hours before dawn.

The small yard like a field
Girls far off, old friendship sealed
and Rickie Lee Jones' lyrics
Teach of women to schoolboys on the lawn.

[hack]

Good job Virgil, all the poems were quite good I thought.

[toni]

First of June
Sitting on wooden floorboards
Summer awakening
To the sweet sounds of vinyl records
You and me
We take a stroll through Abbey Road
We hold hands and embrace summertime
Within the winds of rock n' roll



Much thanks to DanielB for editing:)

[Virgil]

Am I also supposed to have a deadline? Let's make it April 15th.

[PrinceMyshkin]

The girl in que in front of me
standing beneath the 6th Station of the Cross
hands folded in prayer,
eyes locked shut with inward memory
waiting for the confessional door to open
was wearing a pink frizzled blouse
with her skinny arms bare.

When the door openned,
she turned, the chestnut of her eyes met mine,
the gold of the crucifix across her chest
glowed in the candle light
and she entered.

I was eight years old too,
and I being next
rushed in mind and heart
to roll out my list of sins.

I don't often look in on this thread so I missed this glorious poem! How magnificently you weave together the quotidian, the sacred and the inchoate sexual.


the chestnut of her eyes met mine,
the gold of the crucifix across her chest
glowed in the candle light
and she entered.

is like one of those moments in a chaste Victorian novel when one suspects that something erotic is about to take place - or is it one's concupiscent imagination?

[Dark Muse]

Harp Strings

My bones

~vibrate~

like the
harp strings
beneath your
fingers stroke.

Is it:

my soul
-or-
my body

you play?

with those
sweet
melodies

that still
linger
in my
dreams....

[Virgil]

I don't often look in on this thread so I missed this glorious poem! How magnificently you weave together the quotidian, the sacred and the inchoate sexual.



is like one of those moments in a chaste Victorian novel when one suspects that something erotic is about to take place - or is it one's concupiscent imagination?

:lol: Thanks. Actually I think I learned this from you and your poems.

[Pendragon]

The Guitar Teacher

He taught me to play
When I was a boy
I didn't know many chords
But he said I was ready
Sink or swim methods
Taught me all I know
Playing by ear
To the beat of my own drummer
Now he's old and feeble
His hair almost gone
But I feel his presence
Each time I play guitar

Pendragon

[qimissung]

thick spicy Scilian pizza
a nun hands me a Scilian coin and
God's hand reaches out to
touch my fingers;
clots of people stroll through the night
their nightengale voices raised in song
a magnificent robust chicken
and wine, and bullets in the night;
the maze of streets do
not cure my wanderlust
and on every street corner
this song with a sweet ache
wanders like a stag into
the forest, like a fawn into my heart
Guantanamera
guajira, Guantanamera

Qimissung

[paradoxical]

When I First Heard the Blues


a man on Bourbon St.
sweating, plays guitar,
an old Gibson plugged
into a Marshall amp

glass slide on frets
and turned up so loud
I thought we would all
vibrate off the ground

[blank|verse]

descant

plastic descant
splashed in piss of disinfectant

[Heathcliff]

New Dance

There's a fast parade of colours,
we struggle to find a groove.
So a change forms in the rhythm,
beginning to bust a move.

A sea of silhouettes,
as people move their feet.
Now we'll spend the night dancing,
to this new-found, funky beat.

[hack]

Clutching the phrase
Monk left out for me
I slip into dreams,
Misterioso

[Virgil]

Without further ado, while all the entries were really good (there is something to a short minimalist poem that brings out the best in everyone) I will award the winning poem to Billl.



Juke Box Fury

Speakers in the window
Letting the neighborhood know
The boy over there and his friends
Can lay claim to all hours before dawn.

The small yard like a field
Girls far off, old friendship sealed
and Rickie Lee Jones' lyrics
Teach of women to schoolboys on the lawn.

What I was looking for is for the poem to be suggestive of possibilities unmentioned. I think that's what separated Billl's poem a tad from the rest.

Billl, you can pick the next subject. :)

[billl]

YEAH! I stumbled upon these contests, then had some fun searching my memories for musical moments that had some kind of 'thing' happening--and then hammered some sudden words into shape. Rare poem for me these days, so quite fortunate to be a winner. Thanks, Virgil, the check is in the mail.

Next topic: PARTNERS

Deadline: May 1st, (a Saturday), at noon.

[Dark Muse]

Two to Tango

Limbs entangled
rhythm flows
move
counter-move
come hither-not
games
gliding across
the floor.

Stolen
touches
to the music's
beat
step
step
turn
step

Together
pulled-apart
friction
created.

Flashing eyes
flashing smiles
flashing gold
caught in lamplight
colors twirl
and blur.

Two souls
two bodies
moving
as one
in cat
and mouse
flirtation.

[billl]

Whoa! Definitely meant to be read ALOUD, Dark Muse. Lots we can do reading that one...

[hillwalker]

Wow. Suggestive writing at its best - let the reader's imagination flux and flow.

This is one I wrote long ago in my monochrome youth but perhaps it fits the bill :

GADGET

My hand can cover you (so);
the little hair, warm,
scented like lips.
My fingers close, gently,
bend to touch your damp flesh –
the smooth hollowed belly above,
my grip slowly caressing,
untethering your passion,
the hand-shake.

[billl]

Wow, again--even the reason for the edit simmers.

[Pendragon]

Together we move
As the music flows
I want to go wherever
Your body goes
Watching you shine
Dance after dance
Hearts grow closer
To true romance
Making a moment
Meant for just me and you
I'll always be saving
The last dance for you

Pendragon

[hack]

Congrats billl, good job.
All the entries were excellent.

WE

We're as near
as taters in their bags
or elbows thrown
by Shakespeare's hags

Side by side
we make our stand
as close as oceans
come to land

And as the flower
and the bee
without you
there is no me

[Virgil]

Not sure if I'll be around at the deadline, but here's my entry.


Partner

Under the rising morning
after a night of whistling mortar shells
and the sough scramble of rodents
in the hedges

having caught a hugger-mugger
doze with the butt of the M4
cinched into my underarm

Charlie, unshaven, droopy eyed
leaning like a pelican
tossed me a matutinal MRE
and laughed.

[paperleaves]

I don't know how to delete this, but I posted a poem in the wrong thread. Sorry! Great poems, btw. :)

[krymsonkyng]

As happenstance is happy chance
so happiness a finer mess
than any guess would dare profess
keep dancing on, oh dance!

A spinning world keeps bodies hurled
about in random tandem time.
Two entwined find new ties to bind
eyes locked to eyes, they twirled!

Twist step, step to. Kissed lips bled through.
a way to sway away the day
they hold the center point in place
before they fall in two.

[billl]

A really tough job, choosing one over all of these great poems. I picked Pendragon's. Some of the others were wilder and pushing boundaries (which I love) but I especially liked the message here, as well as the nice job of making directness interesting and artful.




Together we move
As the music flows
I want to go wherever
Your body goes
Watching you shine
Dance after dance
Hearts grow closer
To true romance
Making a moment
Meant for just me and you
I'll always be saving
The last dance for you

Pendragon

[krymsonkyng]

Congrats Pendragon!

[Dark Muse]

A very beautiful poem

[Virgil]

Good job Pen! I enjoyed it. :)

[hillwalker]

Hear hear. A beutiful love poem well-executed.

H

[Pendragon]

Thanks everyone. Billl, I was honored to be your choice among such other great poems.

We will use the subject: Spring

Deadline: May 20th

Now get out there and write, write, write! :patriot:

[hack]

Good choice
Great job Pen!

[blank|verse]

Daddy

what's a cuckoo?

[Dark Muse]

Beltane Fires

Before the bonfire
hands unite
beneath warm twilight

Flowers garland
maiden's heads
as lovers join

Goddess blessing
love unfurls
a new life

to be born!

[Haunted]

the three belles


today’s the day:
April’s bridal shower

but May’s jealous tears
rained out the wedding

if only she knew...

June blossoms
like a thorny red rose
beautiful and dangerous
the groom is intrigued...

oh drama before
summer solstice

[Pendragon]

Tick tock , time is running out so get your entry in today!

[hack]

Spring

The tight wound
coil of green
Spring
Unfurls its fiddlehead
and spills a shower
of scented gems

[Maryd.]

the three belles


today’s the day:
April’s bridal shower

but May’s jealous tears
rained out the wedding

if only she knew...

June blossoms
like a thorny red rose
beautiful and dangerous
the groom is intrigued...

oh drama before
summer solstice





Hey dear... Is this meant to be a sign????

Well love it.

[Haunted]

Hey dear... Is this meant to be a sign????

Well love it.

thanks Mary!
no, not a sign at all. There's a girl at work called April and I have a friend called May. I guess you can say that they kinda inspired this.

[Cunninglinguist]

I don't care
If I win.
And that is why
I've already won.

[Pendragon]

And the lucky winner is: Violins, please:nopity::nopity::nopity:

Haunted wonderful poetry

[Dark Muse]

Nice poem Haunted!

[hack]

Good one Haunted

[qimissung]

Lovely, Haunted. Just lovely.

[Haunted]

thank you all, I'm soooo honored!! I"ll be back soon with new subject/theme/deadline, etc. Stay tuned.

In the spirit of things, Happy Spring, everyone! :D

[billl]

Great going, Haunted

[Haunted]

ok guys, sorry for the delay. First off I want to thank Pendragon for seeing merit in my little poem among other wonderful entries...oh, and hiring 3 violinists for the announcement, Pen, that must have cost a fortune! :D

Once again, thanks everyone for the kind words, really really really appreciated it.

here's the next round...

subject: towel (I know, it's weird but humor me ;))
deadline: 6/22

have fun!

[Maryd.]

Way to go baby.... Haunted knew you could do it. A big fat mwah to you angel.:biggrin5:

[BienvenuJDC]

Just a towel
that is all I'll need

To cover me in the cold
or to wipe my wounds
when I bleed

Soft terry cloth fabric
it is soothing to the touch
the edges are frayed, I fear
but useful when I begin to tear

Such security that it has brought
the worn fabric wrapped around
up against my face it is placed
the baby blue friend of mine
despite the laughs that abound

Just a towel
that is all I'll need

[Pendragon]

The Towel

Wrapped in a towel she gracefully walks
From the bathroom into our boudoir
Her hair all wet and her face all a shine
This lady whom I share my life with
I have see her in gowns of the purest silk
And faded denim with tie-dyed shirt
I have seen her in her wedding gown
And at the beach in a swimsuit
But if I don't see her in nothing at all
I love my treasure wrapped up in a towel

Pendragon

[BienvenuJDC]

Pen......awesome poem...(you aren't allowed to post something better than mine, so you're going to have to remove it...j/k)

[DanielBenoit]

My nickname (i.e. summer song)

as a kid
I once
saw a cartoon
with a talking-
towel

violin strings
vaporizing streams

I once
had a
friend
with a towel
tattooed to his
right shoulder
so that he wouldn't
have to go
without it

Mozartian rhythms
steamy showers

I once was six
and whenever I
introduced myself
I would say:

"hello, I am Daniel
but you can call me Towel."

[krymsonkyng]

Mind the weave when mending minds,
Bend the winding 'round wound wounds
To find why and end my woman's cries.
A towel of vowels to wipe away tears
And fears found fresh below
Eyes of iron and blood and seawater.

[moonbird]

Matt. Ashley. Cameron. Will. Tyler. Emily. Jacob. They go on and on.
Finally there are only two left: scrawny little Nick, and scrawny little me.
It's Andrew's turn to pick. He studies us closely, like a jockey examining a horse.
He makes his decision. Slowly he raises his hand and points... to me.
Inside myself I cheer, pretending not to notice the broken look on Nick's face.
Together my team and I run to grab the dodgeballs.
For now, I am safe.

[autolycus]

On a lonely planet
I and towel are one
Wet he is hard as steel
Heavy as lightnings feel
I flick him at the foe

On a lonely planet
I and towel are one
Dry she is soft as foam
Draped like daylight at home
Caressing my flesh dry

I am alone, planet
Now my towel is gone
O hear my keen lament
How love for linen went
Loved poorly? No, too well.

[hack]

the dog made a mess
fine end for a noble fir
in this paper towel



__________________

[krymsonkyng]

autolycus gets my vote. Can we vote? I'm voting.

[caddy_caddy]

Sorry wrong post .

[hack]

autolycus gets my vote. Can we vote? I'm voting.
If we can vote, I pick krymsonkyng,
I don't think we get to vote, but if
you vote, I'm voting.

[krymsonkyng]

If we can vote, I pick krymsonkyng,
I don't think we get to vote, but if
you vote, I'm voting.

For you,
more gratitude than a politician
less than comes from a verdict of "innocent",
and about as much as comes with waking up.

[hack]

and that is why I voted yesterday
I may not wake tomorrow;

but do not take my vote in jest
I only mean, I think yours best

[Haunted]

Am I being voted down as judge?

[hack]

I would not be so bold.
Perhaps we could call it
a petition. Cries in the
wilderness, as it were.
Bowing gracefully to
your hearts desire.
...peace...

[krymsonkyng]

Vive la revolution!
counting coup 'til The Coup
in a state of exhilaration
in an exile nation
but
if opinions are explosive
ours are but roman candles
beside your smart bomb.

[Haunted]

Am I in the twilight zone? I thought the subject is towel but I'm seeing all sorts of stuff.

if the thread has become self voting free style poetry, which I think is an excellent idea, and everyone is a better judge than me, may I submit my resignation. Thank you folks. Now take it away!

[krymsonkyng]

Am I in the twilight zone? I thought the subject is towel but I'm seeing all sorts of stuff.

if the thread has become self voting free style poetry, which I think is an excellent idea, and everyone is a better judge than me, may I submit my resignation. Thank you folks. Now take it away!

Nonononono! I apologize, what started as a compliment turned into a game that shouldn't have happened. Your opinion is superior here, please don't resign! You earned the right to pick the winner with your wonderful belles.

[hack]

I fear that it is my fault that my jest was mistaken
for something it was not, I meant no slight, to anyone.
My apologies. Carry on as though I had some sense,
I will try to follow suit...peace...

[BienvenuJDC]

**shreds resignation**
**Places her majesty back on her throne**

"Your towel, my Lady!!"

[The Comedian]

My Old Blue Towel

Last year's lake --
Yesterday's

Warm shower
And hot sweat.

Pool chlorine,
Ancient tears,
Probably
Some piss too.

Blue towel,
You have the
Residue
Of my all.

[Haunted]

Vote away for the winning poem. I'll add up the counts once you're done voting.

[BienvenuJDC]

I like the one about the towel...

[Haunted]

I like the one about the towel...

:lol:

Which towel?

[krymsonkyng]

If we each vote so that each get one vote we can force Haunted to decide the winning vote...

Who's in?

[Haunted]

If we each vote so that each get one vote we can force Haunted to decide the winning vote...

Who's in?

nice try but that would be cheating...

[Pendragon]

Well, the last winner is required to judge the contest, voting by contestants is moot. All I would say is that in the interest of fairness, if we are going to change this rule to allow voting, we reformat the game. Poems would have to be in by a certain time, then posted in voting format, so that none know the authors.

[qimissung]

I know this is late, but I had wanted towrite one about this, so here it is.

The fluffy towel

I wanted one
I needed one
And so I set out on my quest
Although I was not aware at the
Time that that was what I was doing
And I spent many dark nights
Bewailing my lack thereof
And subsequent darker nights
Hurling myself into countries
Where no one knew my name.
Not even myself

Perhaps there is one on the horizon
Clean and smelling of the sun

[Haunted]

I was looking forward to your entry Qim!

[qimissung]

Thank you, Haunted. :)

[Haunted]

okey Pen, fair enough. People wanted to vote, I thought about it and I couldn't see what worthwhile thing I can offer to anyone so I just wanted to accommodate their wishes. For those who are having trouble staying awake or worse, experiencing braincell degeneration while reading this, take :chillpill: :chillpill: in the morning, :chillpill: :chillpill: at night.


BienvenuJDC — Terry is the title for a poem about a terry cotton security blanket. By personifying this special security blanket as a friend in need, I started reading the title as a person's name, Terry. The double entendre works magic for me.

Pendragon — Senual. Mesmerizing. I read it again and again. Poems like this never get old.

DanielBenoit — I couldn't get this out of my mind: a / friend / with a towel / tattooed to his / right shoulder / so that he wouldn't / have to go / without it. Who would think of that? Brilliant!!!

krymsonkyng — Here's a poem that took towel to the next level: as a metaphor of words weaved together to console. The sentiment is very touching.

moonbird — A rarely seen prose poem with a set of characters depicted so vividly. But the code word is towel and so unfortunately for Matt, Ashley, Cameron, Will, Tyler et al, they're sent home empty handed. Next time be sure to scroll up several posts to locate the designated theme.

autolycus — His and Her towels, and yes, there's such a thing as towel love. This is unique and lovely.

hack — Simply...minimalist poetry at its best. A not so pleasant relationship between a dog and a fir conveyed in just a 17 word haiku.

caddy_caddy — "sorry wrong post"? Had you just changed one word to read "sorry wrong towel", you would have won this contest :D

Comedian — I can always count on you to deliver a whole new way of looking at things. Ingenious.

qimissung — the title "The fluffy towel" makes me want to read it. And what a treat it is. I'm so loving the last 2 lines.


I enjoyed each and every piece, but in the end it was down to just two. I had the toughest time picking "the one", so I went to the mountains in Montana, sat on a rock and did some serious soul searching. After 4 days / 5 nights, I got a vision. Dog poop!!!

And the winner is.....*drumroll* hack!

[hack]

For all of those who said that I could
not write for s***, take that. For the
rest of you, thanks(for not voting).
Thank you Haunted. In the acceptance
speech that I had preprepared, I see
that I should say something about my
inspiration for the piece. Perhaps I
should let it speak for itself...piece...

After a brief celebration,
I will return with particulars.

[qimissung]

Congratulations, hack. Your contribution was "minimally invasive." Well done!

[krymsonkyng]

Congrats Hack!

[The Comedian]

That's some fancy writin' there, hack. Nice work!

[Pendragon]

Nice win, Hack.

[hack]

Thanks for the warm feeling.

Now on to other things:

The new theme is a color, any color, you choose, only one though.
Entries will be accepted if posted BEFORE AUG 1
There will be style points awarded for brevity, so think small.

[Haunted]

July 1? is it a typo

[hack]

July 1? is it a typo

It does seem a little rushed, doesn't it?
Sorry, I forgot what calender we were using.

[Haunted]

It does seem a little rushed, doesn't it?
Sorry, I forgot what calender we were using.

I guess it would be enough time to write a 5 word poem...

[hack]

I guess it would be enough time to write a 5 word poem...
maybe only 3: a chartreuse blur

[Haunted]

does originality count?

roses are blue

[Dark Muse]

Purple Haze

The color of a bruise,
your hyacinth eyes
shades of pain and passion
violets falling from a
twilight sky.

[Pendragon]

Red is anger, blue tranquility,
Green is jealous, yellow a coward
Brown is beautiful, black in darkness
Purple is fuzzy, silver pure
Orange a sunset, gold riches
And white is absent

Pendragon

[Haunted]

His Green Eyes



so dear.

dazzling.

distant.

dilated.



it’s so
definitive

and i’m so
in denial



the vet said
their eyes
never close right
when they
die

[Maryd.]

Aw dear... How sad. Kisses to you.

[Haunted]

thanks so much Mary xoxoxo

[qimissung]

I'm sorry, too, Haunted.

[qimissung]

The living green
And then the living green,
With lips that linger softly
In a green absinthe dream;
An ardent, burning, fervid
Green, with mantis jaws

[qimissung]

Here's hoping any biases you have won't (uh-hm) color your opinions, Hack. :)

[Haunted]

Thanks Qim, means a lot...

[blank|verse]

sunflower

It is the colour of desire:
spent, forsaken,
and blanching to sorrow.

[krymsonkyng]

The misty view
of morning dew
where Sol peeks through
and smiles.

[DanielBenoit]

edited. . . .

[autolycus]

he had always thought
death a different colour
but it all went white

[Virgil]

Let me get back into this. Here's my entry.


Peel back the red
Of the bedspread
For the springy
Squeal of rose-touched
Lust.

[aliengirl]

The misty view
of morning dew
where Sol peeks through
and smiles.

It is really very sweet and sublime. So few words and yet it says so much. Wish you good luck!

[Virgil]

I'm not the judge here but after reading this poem, I lost any hope of writing anything more sublime than this for the contest.


It is really very sweet and sublime. So few words and yet it says so much. Wish you good luck!

Hold on a second. We have a tradition of not trying to influence the judge in these contests. There is no rule obviously but that has been our working procedure.

[DanielBenoit]

Hold on a second. We have a tradition of not trying to influence the judge in these contests. There is no rule obviously but that has been our working procedure.

Sorry, it was unintended as I had no thoughts of influence in my head. I'll edit it and save it for after the judging. Thanks for pointing that out Virgil :)

[Virgil]

Sorry, it was unintended as I had no thoughts of influence in my head. I'll edit it and save it for after the judging. Thanks for pointing that out Virgil :)

I know you didn't, and that's why I didn't say anthing at first. And I wasn't angry or anything, just trying to point the unwritten rule out. After the judging we usually all chime in with our thoughts. :)

[hack]

I feel a little out of my league, that I should judge you. The entries are all quite wonderful, an embarrassment of riches.

Dark Muse: A perfect purple poem.

Pendragon: Very good stuff, but too many colors for the parameters here.
It is hard to ride herd on free range poets.

Haunted: Hauntingly sad and touching poem. My sympathies dear.

Qimissung: Beautiful, wistful, fierce.

Blank/Verse: Yours is a stunning flash of yellow and, though you meant the single blossom, I am reminded of the marvelous film, "Everything Is Illuminated".

Krymsonkyng: Evocative, though I am drawn to the image of clear, colorless dew.

Autolycus: Marvelous. The haiku form is a personal favorite. English haiku is fraught with difficulties, and though it may not approach the original Japanese expression, when it works it can be stunningly beautiful.

Virgil: Short, with heat, smoldering red.

Overall, too many exceptional choices, but choose I must.

Blank/Verse, I choose your flash of unspoken yellow.

[miyako73]

Burnt lotuses refusing to wither,
broken bones from kneeling bare,
mudded pieces of torn saffron robes,
scent of incense and fetid stench,
where does he exist amid all these?

[Virgil]

sunflower

It is the colour of desire:
spent, forsaken,
and blanching to sorrow.


Very nice. I would have picked yours too.

I enjoyed everyone's entry. Something about this minimalist poetry contest that brings out the best.

Looking forward to the next subject. :)

[blank|verse]

Thanks hack! And well done to everyone who entered, there were some great entries - including yours Virgil, thanks for the message of congratulations.

I've not seen 'Everything is Illuminated' but presume it is the film-of-the-book. The idea actually came as I was trying to write about the Tour de France! And then I 'borrowed from the myth kitty' (see the tale of Clytie from 'The Sun in Love', book 4 of Ovid's Metamorphoses). Glad you liked it.


NEW COMPETITION - the theme is WATER.

(I think this is wide-ranging enough - it could be 'natural' water - the sea, rivers, streams, lakes, rain; 'domestic' water - showers, baths, tap-water; or any other type, as long as it's water!)

I would like to set a deadline of Sunday, 15th August, so there is the chance of holding two competitions per month. I don't think this is too demanding, but please let me know if you think otherwise, and I'll change the deadline to the end of the month.

Hints: I like poems - particularly in this thread - to be short and sharp. Make every word count. Less is more! I don't want to enforce line limits but I will look more favourably on the shorter entries - as long as they are sufficiently potent! Think also about the rhythm and sound of words. I like music in poetry.

...And I would also like to support what Virgil said about 'cheerleading' comments under entries - while it's good people enjoy the poems, please keep any such comments until after the competition has closed. It's just not cricket! Thank you.

Good luck!
b|v

[DanielBenoit]

Sakura

Spring comes late upon these rocks
Wett'd, the sun casts
Its ire upon the spring.

[Pendragon]

A single drop of water
Leaves a trail along my cheek
Tears for what might-have been

[miyako73]

Deleted.

Just read the judge's mechanics. My poem had multiple meanings-- not sharp. Sorry.

[qimissung]

Congratulations, blank|verse. Yours was good.

Here's my entry for the next one:

The wild horses stampede past my window
Whither goest thou, without me?
It matters not; I will let the rain cry in my stead.

[Virgil]

Here's mine.


Sand and Water

God knows my distance of sand and sin,
The accumulated dust of desert and debt,
And offers an ablution to the flesh,
A soaking, quenching wonder
So that the skin shrivels, is soothed
But finally blossoms.

[Haunted]

overnight snow



we weren’t aware
the rain changed
over to snow
and snow has melted
into slush

my boots squishy
socks soggy
all the while standing
on tiptoe
for the longest
goodbye
kiss

[autolycus]

gathers, ungathers
tide of affairs, man river,
has its way withall

[NikolaiI]

my demons are gone
dissolved into the water
merely shadows they.

[breathtest]

did you feel
the crystalline shapes
of water
on your toes
as i did?
my happiness
for a moment
was all told.

[Bar22do]

On a rocky, foamy shore
the sign read «No bathing»,
but we all did and
then sat wet, tracing the sunset,
lucky and happy.

[Dark Muse]

My Liquid Heart

Your eyes
a watery grave

like these
liquid tongues
which I swim through

in the hopes of
finding you
somewhere
beneath

where only
my reflections
meet.

[blank|verse]

There's been a veritable flood of entries so far (ho, ho) and the standard is high, so thanks for the submissions.

Anyone else wanting to make my life more difficult has until this SUNDAY 15th AUGUST to do so. :willy_nilly:

Cheers,
b|v

[Hawkman]

Water

Drip

Water is patient

Drip

All it needs is time

Drip

It penetrates and seeps

Drip

It’ll wear you down

Drip

Until you crack

Drip

Drip

Drip

[miyako73]

Summer’s Malaria

When blooms crisp and curl,
It is not your blood I crave,
But sweat on your lips.

[blank|verse]

Right, time's up.

Thank you to all the entrants for posting a wonderful selection of poems for me to choose from.

I've not decided on the winner yet, but I'll do so as soon as I can, with my usual rambling, pedantic thoughts about each poem.

Thanks,
b|v

[blank|verse]

Daniel Benoit – Sakura (I learnt after a quick Google check) being cherry blossom – an image often used in haiku. The poem opens and closes with 'spring', bringing the reader full circle (although the second might be a water spring rather than the season, which is a nice play on words). The main distraction is the abbreviated word 'Wett'd' – how is it pronounced? I notice the poem has 17 syllables – the same as a haiku, but in a different order from the standard 5-7-5 (excuse my ignorance if this is another form I'm not aware of). Nothing wrong with that of course, but I wonder if you elided this word deliberately to cram it into this syllable count, and if that was the best decision for the poem? And the syntax suggests the 'sun' is 'wett'd', which I found confusing.

Pendragon – Simple. Effective. Nicely ambivalent – is the 'single drop of water' actually a tear or not? What is the 'might have been'? It's well achieved. If I'm being picky (I usually am!) the 'single drop' becomes the plural 'tears' in the third line, and I don't think you need to hyphenate 'might-have'. The rhythm of the first two lines is nicely achieved; maybe a colon after 'cheek' would be useful just to check the reader before the final line is delivered.

qimissung – The poem opens with a brilliant, arresting image and I think I would have liked more description of this as it doesn't strike me as the everyday occurrence the poem makes it seem. Could more have been made of this to tie it in metaphorically with the theme of 'water'? The main difficulty for me is the second line, as I'm no fan of archaic language in modern poems. Still, a poem drenched in longing and futility.

Virgil - Tackling a big issue here! There's a nice rhythmic balance to the alliterative first two lines and to the poem as a whole. The use of 'ablution' is a nice touch, suggesting both religious and domestic cleansing. Perhaps I would have liked some more tension in this; the narrator's world-view is clearly that of a believer – the 'soaking' has been sent to cleanse his soul, and succeeds in doing so, with miraculous effects. Redemption here seems too easily won, or merely given. One is left wondering if life really is this easy.

Haunted – That is a long goodbye kiss! Nicely achieved; nature's transformative powers can't distract the enrapt lovers. Nice use of 'sh' sounds in the middle of the poem ('slush' and 'squishy') that effectively evoke the scene. Do you need 'has' in line 4? A sweet poem.

Autolycus – A standard haiku but certainly non-standard syntax which leaves the content open to interpretation. The second line suggests a city centre with business people going about their 'affairs' down busy streets, suggested by the kenning 'man river'. It's quite abstract and unsettling but thought-provoking.

NikolaiI – Another haiku, with its demanding syllable-count, which might explain the abrupt ending and inverted syntax. I find the last line a blemish on what is a good effort, but one which is perhaps a bit too abstract and generalised – what 'demons'? What 'water'? Autolycus's entry gave the reader more to think about, I felt.

breathtest – 'The crystalline shapes | of water' – take a bow for that one! And it's nicely ambivalent – does the narrator mean 'snow' or is this simply a complex description of water? (Probably the latter – who stands barefoot in snow? Don't tell me… a snowman!) It's an intriguing poem although I felt the ending was a bit weak. The narrator wants this experience of nature to be shared, but it seems his 'happiness' doesn't extend beyond this to include the poem's addressee, leaving the narrator open to accusations of a certain selfishness. (Yes, I know – I'm reading too much into things again…!)

Bar – This has a wonderful simplicity in content and execution, and is beautifully evocative of a moment of happiness gained through disobedience. (A controversial moral!) Maybe a comma after 'sat' (line 5) would slow things down nicely and accentuate the 'wet – sunset' internal rhyme. And although I like the 'rocky – lucky' echo, I do want to change that 'telling' ending to a more 'showing' one! (What about: 'tracing the sunset, | our clothes drying | on the wooden sign'?) Still, nicely written.

Dark Muse – Somehow, only you could have written this! It's well balanced between metaphorical abstraction and simple narrative. 'Liquid tongues' is brilliant, building on the 'heart' of the title and the 'eyes' of the first stanza, themselves suggesting the sea, or another body of water, in the phrase 'watery grave'. (Maybe a different word should have been used in the title, though.) All of which suggests, synechdochically, the body which doesn't materialise; the reader is left only with the parts. Technically, the assonantal 'beneath – meet' half-rhyme that closes the poem is spot-on; just as the reflections meet, but not the bodies of the poem's narrator and addressee, so the words also meet, but not as one might expect, and would get, with a full-rhyme.

Hawkman – I thought this was the most formally inventive, and it works well. The repetition is effective and disconcerting in its insistence, and the use of 'you' in the later lines brings home the implication of water torture. I would have liked more poetry in the 'non-drip' lines to build on the strength of the idea, but it's a good piece.

miyako73 – Tinker, tinker! I thought the first entry was an interesting poem – perhaps it needed a bit of work but you should definitely return to it, so maybe you were right to change. This haiku is effectively sinister and gives a voice either to the disease itself or perhaps a mosquito carrier. The first line prefigures the theme of death well.

AND THE WINNER IS: DARK MUSE

Congratulations Dark Muse, and thanks to everyone who entered.

[Dark Muse]

Oh wow, I cannot beleive I won, with so many other great poems.

[Virgil]

Congratulations Dark Muse. I really liked the notion of swimming through liquid tongues. Very suggestive in a number of directions. :)



Virgil - Tackling a big issue here! There's a nice rhythmic balance to the alliterative first two lines and to the poem as a whole. The use of 'ablution' is a nice touch, suggesting both religious and domestic cleansing. Perhaps I would have liked some more tension in this; the narrator's world-view is clearly that of a believer – the 'soaking' has been sent to cleanse his soul, and succeeds in doing so, with miraculous effects. Redemption here seems too easily won, or merely given. One is left wondering if life really is this easy.
Well, there was the distance and the accumulation of dust and debt. This is minimalist after all. :wink5: (And by the way, theologically redemption is easily given. One just has to ask.) Thank you for your comments. :)

[miyako73]

congratulations, Dark Muse!

"miyako73 – Tinker, tinker! I thought the first entry was an interesting poem – perhaps it needed a bit of work but you should definitely return to it, so maybe you were right to change. This haiku is effectively sinister and gives a voice either to the disease itself or perhaps a mosquito carrier. The first line prefigures the theme of death well."

I've got OCD so I tinker a lot :)

Summer's Malaria is dryness, thirst, or longing.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you!

I will have the next subject up shortly, just as soon as I think up something good.

[Dark Muse]

The creator of this contest said we may use either a subject or a picture so I thought I would mix things up and offer something a little different.

So here is the next subject for the contest:

http://www.alaska-in-pictures.com/data/media/1/aurelia-aurita_1700.jpg

Be creative and have fun, deadline will be posted shortly.

[DanielBenoit]

Daniel Benoit – Sakura (I learnt after a quick Google check) being cherry blossom – an image often used in haiku. The poem opens and closes with 'spring', bringing the reader full circle (although the second might be a water spring rather than the season, which is a nice play on words). The main distraction is the abbreviated word 'Wett'd' – how is it pronounced? I notice the poem has 17 syllables – the same as a haiku, but in a different order from the standard 5-7-5 (excuse my ignorance if this is another form I'm not aware of). Nothing wrong with that of course, but I wonder if you elided this word deliberately to cram it into this syllable count, and if that was the best decision for the poem? And the syntax suggests the 'sun' is 'wett'd', which I found confusing.


Thank you for your input :D

As for the use of elision, I deliberately did that merely because I thought it looked nice. Besides, I counted the word as two syllables anyway.

As for the "wett'd" "sun" I had the image of water thrown onto a stove with that chaotic and wrathful noise that follows of water boiling into vapor. That particular second line was meant to contrast the peaceful spring with the wrathful force of the sun brought about by two contrasting forces.

Btw, I just want to say that I really appreciate the honesty you showed in judging these poems, a real thumbs up for you :D

[Bar22do]

Congratulations Dark Muse! Your poem is really marvelous!

Thanks B/V for all your detailed, instructive, comments on the entries.
Re mine, I thought I didn't need a comma after "sat" as I found "sunset" echoed "sat wet" rather well. But I'll give it a thought, also to how to change the last line.

It was great to participate!
Best to all!
Bar

[krymsonkyng]

Subaqueous constellations,
their world would crush
human blood and bone.
Jelly survives.

[Haunted]

Haunted – That is a long goodbye kiss! Nicely achieved; nature's transformative powers can't distract the enrapt lovers. Nice use of 'sh' sounds in the middle of the poem ('slush' and 'squishy') that effectively evoke the scene. Do you need 'has' in line 4? A sweet poem.

BV, you're absolutely right, "has" is not needed. I edited that and posted it to the A Short Collection of Trashy Poems thread. Check it out, it reads so much better. Thanks so much!


Dark Muse, congrats!!

[Dark Muse]

Kry, thanks for kicking things off with a great first entry.

I will wait untill I get a few more entries before deciding upon a good deadline to set.

[angliholic]

Hi,
I find this thread entertaining and informative!

Here is my whimsical whim. Correct me where I go wrong. Thanks.




The dark sky is fantastic,
through a misty eye,
as the deepest blue water,
with pearls scattering everywhere,
as well as
enigmatic as a blue jellyfish,
a will o’ the wisp,
or a whimsical wheel,
glowing and floating alone
in the boundless universe.

[Pendragon]

Blueberry Jellyfish floating along
Is it the dark depths of the sea
Or in the blackness of space
Is it terrestrial or celestial
Is it real...

Pendragon

[miyako73]

Diving Into Oblivion

Into the deepest depth
Where there are no hints of light,
I will follow the traces
Of your poison and tentacles,
Never to come back
To the world that stings my soul.

[angliholic]

Diving Into Oblivion

Into the deepest depth
Where there are no hints of light,
I will follow the traces
Of your poison and tentacles,
Never to come back
To the world that stings my soul.

Hi, miyako,

Your poem is succinct, yet mysteriously sad and beautiful.
I really like it!
You're really good at words.
You're very imaginative!
Good for you!

[Dark Muse]

Great entires so far.

and here is the deadline:

Deadline September 15th

[Haunted]

existence


i am a globe
of zapping blue lights
in the expanse of space
looking foward to when
the electromagnetic shell
bursts and blasts every
living atom in this orb
into magnificent
oblivion

[DanielBenoit]

I said 'hello' to the jellyfish in the sky
It hasn't said 'hello' back.

I'm sure it's busy.

[autolycus]

We wondered why
the Milky Way
stayed in one place

When we were gods
we looked back and
saw the condom.

[Bar22do]

Lensed

A droplet caught
at the workings of life,
carefully inconclusive,
shifting a little, pulled back.
A consonant imploding
in a shape, shifty-eyed,
grimaced by pain
and already muzzled.

[Hawkman]

In the aftermath,
a lie broke
and unleashed the void.

[breathtest]

it was more a lamp than a fish,
she said,
and i felt on display while it glowed
and lit up everything,
i felt naked.

[hillwalker]

AURELIA AURITA

Medusa’s star-born amulet
a lover’s eyes locked in regret
so easily you draw us in
make all immobile in your spin

[RaoulDuke]

Musings on the physical appearance of a Jellyfish

Moon Jellyfish
Looks a bit like a petri dish.
But with fronds and other appendages.

[tailor STATELY]

Oh Haunted, I love your entry !

Mine: Formatting will be added later (time permitting). I want the words to form a closed circle (Haunted's influence)... perhaps an animated .gif rolling like a wheel in place. If I cannot craft the poem as such please imagine how it might have been.



αωε


The universe is

truly wonderous
.

Just imagine

what we miss
.

© tailor STATELY

9/11/2010

[toni]

The jellyfish overlord
ascending
from cosmic dystopia

[Dark Muse]

Thank you all for the great entries, sorry for the short delay, but the deadline is now up, and I will have the results in ASAP.

[Dark Muse]

Once again you have given me an almost impossible task in judging this contest. Everyone did a wonderful job and I loved reading how everyone perceived the picture as I have a fascination with jellyfish.

There were several I wished I could name the winner, and it was so hard to choose, but in the words of The Highlander "There can be only one"

krymsonkyng: The opening lines are just superb. I loved your use of language within this poem, and the unique view you took upon the subject. This is a short poem that does carry a great impact to it. The very last line gave me a bit of a chuckle. Well done.

angliholic: Your poem was absolutely beautiful. I loved the imagery you conveyed and the wonderful, whimsical ethereal feeling. There was a mysticism to your poem which I quite enjoyed.

Pendragon: As always you do have a wonderful way with words. I loved the your use of the word blueberry to describe the jellyfish, and I loved the depth within your words, the ending of the poem with the question Is it "terrestrial or celestial" was fantastic I thought.

miyako73: I love the almost femme fatale element you bring into the poem, you make the jellyfish sound like it could be a metaphor for a mysterious "black widow" of a woman who has enchanted you. The ending I thought was beautiful. Only one minor suggestion, I think the poem would have flowed a little better if you left out the and in "Of your poison and tentacles," and simply let it say Of your poison tentacles.

Haunted: Beautiful poem with some wonderful descriptions used. I loved "zapping blue lights" and "electromagnetic shell." I really like the cosmic feeling of the poem and think it expresses some very profound thoughts. Also much appreciated the way in which the shape of it almost resembled a jellyfish.

DanielBenoit: As always you can be relayed upon to bring something completely different to the table, and yet strangely in your rather simple and humorous words, there can be found a depth of thought. An idea of the vastness of the ocean, and the loneliness of the universe.

autolycus: I have to admit your poem took a couple of reads to grasp it, and even then I am not entirely certain that I do understand it, but I think I have an idea of its meaning. There are some beautiful expressions in this poem, especially in the first stanza, and I must admit the ending does come as quite an unexpected surprise.

Bar22do: I love your take upon the image. A truly original approach and a poem that really does make one think. I particularly enjoyed the lines "carefully inconclusive" and "consonant imploding" I will admit that the meaning leaves me a bit baffled, but it was a pleasure to read.

Hawkman: Wow! You do know how to use minimalism to its utmost effect. This was truly brilliant and each line falls like a blow. A very powerful work. It stats out with a bang and it ends in fireworks. Beautiful and yet filled with a sense of sadness.

breathtest: I loved the tone of your poem, there is an ironic humor in your words, and it produces a nice atmosphere. The opening lines peak the interest right away, there is something almost playful in it. This poem feels like a snapshot, in which one imagines there must be many layers in the relationship between these two people.

RaoulDuke: I loved "Moon Jellyfish" that I thought was a great line. Your poem is a rather light-hearted and playful approach to the topic. I enjoyed your humorous and rather unique musings upon the strange appearance of a jellyfish.

tailor STATELY: A whimsical poem which captures the idea that there is yet still so much out there which we do not understand, which we have not even discovered, and how truly wondrous our universe really is. And the idea that the ocean is like a universe of its own.

toni: I always enjoy poems that make me laugh. This poem puts me in the mind of a jellyfish Darth Vador and I found the idea quite amusing. I thought the last lines "cosmic dystopia" were great.

and the winner is........

~~~~~~DRUMEROLL~~~~~

Hillwalker

What can I say? But brilliant work! Your use of Medusa caught my eye right away being I have a falsification with her, and your poem had such a wealth of deep emotion within it, and so much power. It was made up of elegantly beautiful lines and was masterfully crafted.

[tailor STATELY]

Congratulations Hillwalker !

[miyako73]

"of your poison tentacles"? Nope. I very much respect the English language. Besides, using "and" gave a sense that I was talking about two things: death and ripples, their traces.

[angliholic]

AURELIA AURITA

Medusa’s star-born amulet
a lover’s eyes locked in regret
so easily you draw us in
make all immobile in your spin


AURELIA AURITA!
What a romantic and poetic name!

And congratulations, Hillwalker,
Your poem is really short yet most expressive!

[Haunted]

congrats Hill, beautiful and complex.

[Bar22do]

Yours is a wonderful poem hill, I loved it since I first read it! congratulations!

[hillwalker]

Thank you everyone - caught me unawares slightly as I had not realised the judging was over. Give me a while to collect my thoughts and I shall return.

[hillwalker]

Ok, thanks DarkMuse - you certainly earned your crust this month (so many entries and of such high standard). I feel humbled that you saw something in mine you enjoyed.... and thanks everyone else for making such a contest of it

My challenge for you this month after much thought (ten minutes actually) is to write a geo-poem about one place:

a geo-poem is a poem inspired by a certain location that holds particular significance to the writer.

Being such a globally varied community I am expecting my senses to be overloaded long before the end.

Deadline - 14th October. Good luck.

H

[krymsonkyng]

In the city of humans there is surplus
unemployment.
Teeming bodies touring narrow sidewalks, roads congested
with Toyotas and Hondas.
Welcome to the New Flower of old Abyssinia
forgotten by the west, invested in by the east, and growing.
"Hey mama" a 10 year old flirts, taking Jenn's hand,
"Watchoo doin' later?" His counterpart quietly picks her
pockets from behind. Dancing in the bars, Foreigners soaked
in Tej, St. Georges, eating Anjerra with forks instead of their hands.
There are seven eggs on the steeple. A man legs through crowds
that never cease to exist, just thin, as late becomes early becomes late.

[autolycus]

everything is burnt metal
concrete dust builds buildings
roads, sweepings, all infra
structured ulterior disease

sing a bloody pore, so called
but the trees, ah the trees
save everything like packed
green bandages over seas

[Dark Muse]

Blood and Sand

Ancient stone
beneath my fingertips
ghosts of the past
alive within
my collective memory.

So much agony
and glory won
in battles fought

upon this sand.

[AdoreroDio]

Aurora Borealis

Ribbons of light dance
above darkened waters
the crisp fall sky is
sprinkled with stars
This must be a dream...

[Pendragon]

I like to come here when I'm lonely
The spirit of the forests sooths my soul
It's a quite little spot in the sunshine
A nice place to fall apart
You can have this world and all that is in it
Sunshine and shadow, happiness and pain
Give that circle of stones in these mountains
A nice place to fall apart

Pendragon

[breathtest]

is loneliness a location,
or is that just my mind?
sometimes i don't even
know if thoughts are real.

[DieterM]

“Land of God”

City of Red and saffron and caraway seeds
Jasmine towers and cinnamon minarets
Oranges blossom before crimson earth walls
A God of legends holds up the sky
For barrows pulled by mules and men with
withered faces above white djellabahs
Cobras hiss fairy-tales and offer mint-tea and Gazelle Horns
A dark-haired, tanned and wiry young guy winks
His white-teethed smile means ‘Come with me and live!’

[Haunted]

Google Earth




between the Atlantic
and the Pacific

+

between Blue Ridge Mountains
and the Rockies

+

between thick groves
and desert dunes

+

between Interstate 540
and County 83

+

between a curvy driveway
and an odd shaped pond

+

between open french doors
and a puckered headboard

+

between your arms
and your voice

+

between a gasp
and a long sigh

+

there lies the heartland
where I long to be

[Janine]

I like this poem very much, Haunted. It really built up to those final two lines nicely. The way you kept it to two lines each and put the plus signs between is quite clever.

[Haunted]

aw thank you Janine :)

[hillwalker]

Thanks everyone for your entries - a wealth of imagery to work my way through.

The deadline has passed so no more entries - and I shall have my decision asap.

H

[hillwalker]

Wow, what a job. I would be in danger of repeating myself if I commented in too much detail on the merits of each of the 8 entries since they all met the challenge so well. Each succeeded in evoking a certain place extremely effectively.

Some were intensely colourful and sensual – reading them was like embarking on a journey to a different world.
Others were more internalised – focusing on the emotional impact of a place rather than on its fundamental qualities.
But having re-read these several times, I have finally picked the best of what was a fine bunch :

AdoreroDio – much as I loved this little gem I think it was intended as a belated entry for the previous month’s comp, so better luck next month.

krymsonkyng – the West meets the Third World head-on. I love the image of ‘foreigners soaked in Tej’ and that enigmatic closing expression. This blend of imagery and reflection worked really well and as soon as I read it I felt this certainly had the makings of a worthy winner…..

autolycus – impressions of a war-ravaged landscape – I appreciated the use of subtle brush-strokes requiring the reader to take a step or two back from the canvas to discover the entire picture

DarkMuse – I would guess a bull-ring from the title, but it could be any ancient patch of desert – simple but effective

Pendragon – your trademark human touch – a secret place of simple beauty perfectly drawn

breathtest – a truly minimal poem – the internal landscape of the existentialist thinker perhaps

DieterM – very rich, exotic imagery – exactly what I had hoped to find when setting this particular topic. This was another very strong contender for the prize,

BUT the winner has to be

Haunted – not only because of the clever conceit of zooming in on that special place using Google Earth’s amazing technology, but also for the skill in which you sweep the reader with you into that intimate, microcosmic landscape of human emotion. Every couplet is a gem of understatement; in a word, this was ‘masterful’.

Congratulations Haunted – and thanks everyone else for making it such a pleasure to read your words.

H

[Pendragon]

Congratulations Haunted :iagree:

[AdoreroDio]

Haha, actually it was meant for this one but that's okay I can see how the mistake could be made. I wrote about the place where I live where at certain times you can see the aurora borealis along the shore of Lake Superior :}

Congrats Haunted! :] a well deserved win.

[hillwalker]

In that case, apologies Ado - your lovely piece seemed to fit so well with Dark Muse's picture. Excse me now while I go and kick myself.....

H

[Dark Muse]

Haha mine was acutally about the Roman Coliseum

[Maryd.]

Way to go Haunted... Mwah.
xo

[Virgil]

Oops, I missed this one. Too busy I'm afraid. Congrats Haunted. :)

[Janine]

Haunted, I told you I was impressed with this poem. You did a spendid job and well deserve the honors!

[DieterM]

congrats, haunted. when I read your piece, I immediately knew I didn't run a chance of winning because yours was the best (I thouroughly enjoyed all the others, mind you, mine included ;)) but, hey, I recognize a master-piece when I see one). should I be jealous? I should. Am I? Nope, never, don't even know what jealousy means... lol

[Haunted]

Hill, thanks so much!!!! I didn't think I stood a chance! Thanks to everyone for your kind words. Dieter, you kidding right? My jaw dropped when I read yours!

I was thinking of a theme for the next round and I kept coming back to this one: anniversary.

I don't want to extend it to more than 4 weeks so let's have all the entries in by Friday November 12 at 11:59pm. Happy anniversary! ;)

[krymsonkyng]

Cuts in the doorframe,
candles in cake,
they say the flame that burns brightest is soon snuffed
but the mounting light of each year
best marks the growth of our romance
and amazes more than fireworks.

[DieterM]

First breath

Shellfish gets the sun's attention
Owl hoots deep in the forest
Unconscious happiness ends in a tunnel
Sudden light and noise and smells
Woman screams, doctor says,
'Alright! 'Tis a boy, Mrs. M.'

[Haunted]

Just one week to closing, hurry in and post your entries :)

theme:
anniversary

deadline:
Friday November 12 at 11:59pm

[zoolane]

Anniversary.

Anniversary is here again.
I sit and crying.
Staring at the photo.
Gold chain in my hand.
A tear drop fall.
Touching my hand.

[autolycus]

Anniversary will do for me
I am eclectic

Will go for any rhyme scheme
Gloss, literary flourish
A sucker for metric potency
Or low-hanging punnets

Annually cryptic
Anniversary will do for me

[Pendragon]

It's coming on mid-November
Another year's golden promises nearly gone
Bridges burned and gone in flames
One final scene, one fading frame
One more year spent in a crowd but all alone

I don't recall just how I discovered it was over
No particular hour, I forget the exact day
But cold November rolls around
One more year of falling down
And watch the hours like minutes fade away

Was a cold night in November 1960
When my tiny cry split the universe apart
For a while my own birthday
Was happy in its own way
Now sometimes I wish I could stop its start

I fell apart around the fourth of July
But my birthday is the date I fear the most
November comes and means that one more year
Of pain still exists here
The memories of yesteryear haunt me like a ghost

So I take myself another shot of courage
Watch the days and years just slip on by
Raise a glass to cold November
To drown my sorrows and make me remember
No one is there to lean on when you cry

Pendragon

[Haunted]

ok, have to admit that I was really surprised when I saw poems about birthdays coming in. I never thought of birthdays as anniversaries. I consulted with a veteran writer friend and he said birthday itself is an anniversary. Fine. I would still say happy birthday to my friends on their birthdays, not happy anniversary, and I'm going to leave it at that.

In terms of poetics every entry is a gem in its own rights.

krymsonkyng, endearing memories and romance throughtout while the metaphor of fire burns warmer at each milestone.

DieterM, thanks for sharing this beautiful autobiographical event, the most vivid imageries of childbirth I've seen.

zoolane, a tear jerker of a poem. It speaks for so many who went through a similar moment.

autolycus, discombobulatively clever! kudos

Pendragon, such an affecting piece, this certainly made the case for a birthday as a worthy anniversary of heartbreaking remembrances.




And the winner is....





*drumroll*





*rimshot*



krymsonkyng. Every word glows. Congrats!

[zoolane]

Well done Krymsonkyng

[krymsonkyng]

Thank ye kindly and a great showing all who participated!

Next subject: Surgery. (Roommate just got some pretty routine knee work done, so it's on my mind.)
Deadline: 10 December.

[autolycus]

Congrats, krymsonkyng, for your luminous exercise in wordsmithing! :) And thanks for the new title.

[Dark Muse]

Awareness

White lights
faces above
blurred around the edges
sounds distant
colors fading
rearranging,
paralyzed,
voiceless,
white hot pain
beneath the cold knife,
a heart beat of awareness,
panic

WAIT!!!!!!