How wisely can time be managed?

[Maximilianus]

Lest I forget, I have a friend who more often than not is telling me about how wisely he uses his time. The thing is that he's been trying to get me into some mystical talks regarding some books I should read in order to have a talk about the matter with him. Not that I'm uninterested, but I have other priorities to deal with that I can't postpone, and I'm beginning to feel unsure as to which point he understands my position.

I'm not assuming the role of a victim, which actually I believe I am not, but I think my time is not as mine as his time is his. He seems to have more time for himself, while I have my time divided between "my time" and "the times of others". Just today I was working at my PC and I had to interrupt what I was doing to look for a spoon my mom had lost, and if it's not this, then it's something else, and so on everyday during the whole day. I have people and tasks at home that I have to take care of, because if I don't then no one else will and, seemingly, my friend doesn't have a similar situation and that's how he can do whatever he wants.

However, I feel a certain guilt because he's a good friend and I feel I'm constantly disappointing him. I wish I could find a better balance between "my time" and "the times of my others" so I could finally have that book debate with him, if there's even a chance for such a thing as a "balance of time".

So do you really believe there's a way to make a wise use of your time when your time does not belong only to you, without killing many hours of sleep? Does "a wise use of time" even exist as a method? If so, would you share your method with me before I get hopelessly despaired?

[kasie]

Isn't it called prioritising? Clearly, kindness and help to your mother is a priority with you. (You've just earned lots of Brownie Points from this old lady. :D ) But should your friend make demands on your time, in the form of requiring you to read a certain book, even with the best of intentions, when this does not appear to be a great necessity to you? Perhaps he thinks you are too easily distracted and allow the needs of others to over-ride your own needs and feels his book will allow you to prioritise these demands? Whether or not you agree is entirely up to you. Personally I fight shy of anyone demanding I read a book - I like to choose my own reading matter. :)

[Jozanny]

Is this really about time management, or a relationship with which you're uneasy? I am not sure if you are shielding yourself with one over the other. I am poorly disciplined with time, especially this year; my writing suffers, but physically I'm exhausted and recently I fell out of reach of calling for help, and was on the floor trapped under my wheelchair for five hours. Discomfort on my side has increased, though I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Ailing sometimes triumphs over will, and time can often be misread on the basis of how we perceive it.

[Virgil]

Oh I used to manage my time so well. I even took a class on time management and that really helped a lot. Then I discovered the internet and I blow an awefull lot of time here. When I was managing my time well, I was making a yealry goals list, then a monthly plans list, and then a weekly action list. I would prioritize the weekly action list and get at them. I would also grade my monthly plans list as to how I did, and then it would mostly work out for the year. Hope that helps.

By the way, not only do I take care of my household, I take my mother all over and take care of her issues, and when my mother-in-law has a need I try to help there too. We have family responsibilities that require our sacrifice.

[Maximilianus]

Isn't it called prioritising? Clearly, kindness and help to your mother is a priority with you. (You've just earned lots of Brownie Points from this old lady. :D ) But should your friend make demands on your time, in the form of requiring you to read a certain book, even with the best of intentions, when this does not appear to be a great necessity to you? Perhaps he thinks you are too easily distracted and allow the needs of others to over-ride your own needs and feels his book will allow you to prioritise these demands? Whether or not you agree is entirely up to you. Personally I fight shy of anyone demanding I read a book - I like to choose my own reading matter. :)
:lol: Brownie Points, I like that.
Well I like choosing my own reading too. My friend is a bit of a philosopher and another bit of a mystic, but he's good, only rather a fanatic compared to me. I don't wholly dislike his readings but I'm not a fan of them either, so to some point I think I've been running away from it, so to speak :p
Thank you for your comments kasie :)

Is this really about time management, or a relationship with which you're uneasy? I am not sure if you are shielding yourself with one over the other. I am poorly disciplined with time, especially this year; my writing suffers, but physically I'm exhausted and recently I fell out of reach of calling for help, and was on the floor trapped under my wheelchair for five hours. Discomfort on my side has increased, though I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Ailing sometimes triumphs over will, and time can often be misread on the basis of how we perceive it.
Well I don't actually mean to shield myself or that I'm having an uneasy relationship with my friend. As a matter of fact, we are very similar, only that he puts more eagerness on his mystical researches while I'm more concentrated on my everyday earthly duties, which don't really bug me that much.
I have a similar problem with time, a lack of discipline and sometimes exhaustion. I'm very sorry that you're having health issues, and yes, a bad health conquers will. I hope you get better soon Jozanny, and thank you for your opinions.


Oh I used to manage my time so well. I even took a class on time management and that really helped a lot. Then I discovered the internet and I blow an awefull lot of time here. When I was managing my time well, I was making a yealry goals list, then a monthly plans list, and then a weekly action list. I would prioritize the weekly action list and get at them. I would also grade my monthly plans list as to how I did, and then it would mostly work out for the year. Hope that helps.

By the way, not only do I take care of my household, I take my mother all over and take care of her issues, and when my mother-in-law has a need I try to help there too. We have family responsibilities that require our sacrifice.

Hmm... this method of making lists sounds like really useful. I'm gonna try it and see if it works for me. Though I blow an awful lot of time surfing the web too; it's like I'm addicted :p
Yeah, a family demands time and sacrifice and it doesn't bother me. It's just that I wish I could find some more minutes to dedicate to my friend, so that he doesn't assume I'm not interested in having talks with him. Thank you for your suggestions Virgil :thumbs_up

[Virgil]

Hmm... this method of making lists sounds like really useful. I'm gonna try it and see if it works for me. Though I blow an awful lot of time surfing the web too; it's like I'm addicted :p
Yeah, a family demands time and sacrifice and it doesn't bother me. It's just that I wish I could find some more minutes to dedicate to my friend, so that he doesn't assume I'm not interested in having talks with him. Thank you for your suggestions Virgil :thumbs_up

It's not just making the list, but evaluating how you did against them at the end of every week and every month. The self evaluation part is important. You're welcome. :)

[Annamariah]

I'm not very good with time management either, I find starting things somehow very difficult. I've always managed to do all my schoolwork within deadline, but usually it's mostly on the very last night when I don't have any other choice (my grades are still good, however). I also have health issues that distract me, meaning my skin. It's been in an increasingly bad condition for several years now, and often I cannot sleep because of it and it distracts my concentration in the daytime too.

If you don't feel like a victim and doing things for others doesn't bother you (I agree with Kasie, it is admirable :) ), are you really in need of a change? Maybe you could ask your friend to tell you what are the basic points of this book he wants you to read, if you don't feel like you've got the time and will to read it yourself. In that way you could have at least some discussion, and if you find it interesting, perhaps you'll find time for actually reading the book later. I'm sure your friend must understand that there are situations in life when you just don't have time for everything you want to do, and you have to prioritise :)

[Jozanny]

I used to keep a schedule for my writing, and it sort of still ticks in my head, but this has been the year of the fantastically incompetent public housing landlord, for which a string of obscenities isn't good enough, coupled with some really unforseen problems with an HMO who booted me off their rolls. I don't know how long it is going to take me to find my way back to my comfort zone. I had it in the ghetto more than I have it now, ironically, because I need an attorney, and I am morally just wasted, really. In my 20's I could take all this and keep fighting.

I am not that far from 50 now.

Thank you for the well wishes Max; most of this I think is arthritis protesting, though I had to reschedule what I will discover about that. Like Virgil, I am allowing LitNet to take up too much of my time, but I love to talk and no one tells me to shut up in here :)

[Maximilianus]

I'm not very good with time management either, I find starting things somehow very difficult. I've always managed to do all my schoolwork within deadline, but usually it's mostly on the very last night when I don't have any other choice (my grades are still good, however).
I too have the habit of postponing till the final hour, with not always a big success :p

I also have health issues that distract me, meaning my skin. It's been in an increasingly bad condition for several years now, and often I cannot sleep because of it and it distracts my concentration in the daytime too.
So sorry :( You're under a medical treatment, right?


If you don't feel like a victim and doing things for others doesn't bother you (I agree with Kasie, it is admirable :) )
Thank you :D

are you really in need of a change?
Of a change surely, though not of that kind of a change. As I said my friend is a mystic and a philosopher, and I don't really need to become any of those :D

Maybe you could ask your friend to tell you what are the basic points of this book he wants you to read, if you don't feel like you've got the time and will to read it yourself. In that way you could have at least some discussion, and if you find it interesting, perhaps you'll find time for actually reading the book later. I'm sure your friend must understand that there are situations in life when you just don't have time for everything you want to do, and you have to prioritise :)
This is exactly what I will do. Thanks for the idea Anna :thumbs_up

[Haunted]

I hear you, I have the same dilemma. There's so much to do and so little time. Perhaps you should re-think immortality, then you'll have all the time in the world to do everything :D. I think your brain can still read inside a jar. I'll hold the book in front of the jar for you :lol:

[Maximilianus]

I hear you, I have the same dilemma. There's so much to do and so little time. Perhaps you should re-think immortality, then you'll have all the time in the world to do everything :D. I think your brain can still read inside a jar. I'll hold the book in front of the jar for you :lol:

Oh will you? How kind an offer!!! ... :lol:

I will remember to put my eyes inside the jar too, because I basically fear that my brain will fail to detect the characters on the printed pages :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Haunted]

Oh will you? How kind an offer!!! ... :lol:

I will remember to put my eyes inside the jar too, because I basically fear that my brain will fail to detect the characters on the printed pages :lol: :lol: :lol:

:idea: Maybe you should put your hands in there too, because I won't be there holding your books after I die. And you're not going to find me in a jar next to you! :lol: :lol:

[Maximilianus]

:idea: Maybe you should put your hands in there too, because I won't be there holding your books after I die. And you're not going to find me in a jar next to you! :lol: :lol:

Why don't we put our jars together and help each other in our respective miseries? .... :lol: :lol:

[Haunted]

Why don't we put our jars together and help each other in our respective miseries? .... :lol: :lol:

Hey, how are we going to celebrate our 2,473,982,083th birthday? How big will the cake be?? :eek2:

[Maximilianus]

Hey, how are we going to celebrate our 2,473,982,083th birthday? How big will the cake be?? :eek2:

Not so big, so the slices fit in the jars... but big enough to hold 2,473,982,083 candles... no wait... we have a contradiction here... it's a paradox !! One of those things that can destroy the whole cosmos and maybe... IMMORTALITY !! :lol:

[Haunted]

Not so big, so the slices fit in the jars... but big enough to hold 2,473,982,083 candles... no wait... we have a contradiction here... it's a paradox !! One of those things that can destroy the whole cosmos and maybe... IMMORTALITY !! :lol:

yeah, lighting up 2,473,982,083 candles will sure cause a supernova in the very least...

I would hate for the cosmos to end while we're reminiscing our 71,743,249th birthdays! :D

[Maximilianus]

In my 20's I could take all this and keep fighting.

I am not that far from 50 now.
Yes, I know how it feels not to be 20 any more. I'm near 35 myself and back then fighting was much easier indeed. Besides, 15 years ago I didn't have this lower back pain that I'm having now, and my heels and ankles weren't aching either. As you well put it before, ailing triumphs over will.


Thank you for the well wishes Max; most of this I think is arthritis protesting, though I had to reschedule what I will discover about that.
Welcome and best of lucks :thumbs_up :)


Like Virgil, I am allowing LitNet to take up too much of my time, but I love to talk and no one tells me to shut up in here :)
Lit Net is taking much of my time too... evil, naughty Lit Net :D

[Annamariah]

So sorry :( You're under a medical treatment, right?
At the moment I'm taking antibiotics (for the fourth time in 18 months, goodbye immune system...), but there is no medication I could take all the time. I do have several different creams that are supposed to help to keep the symptoms from becoming too bad, but they don't always help either. I guess the only thing that will help is time, they say that after you are 25-30 years old it will get better. Still waiting... :D


This is exactly what I will do. Thanks for the idea Anna :thumbs_up
I'm glad if I could help :)

[crystalmoonshin]

Lit Net is taking much of my time too... evil, naughty Lit Net :D

Same here. I find it hard not to stay logged in here when using the net. Such a hard habit to break.

About managing time, I admit I'm one of the many people who find it hard to identify their priorities. I almost always make to-do lists but never accomplish anything. I'm rather spontaneous and I do what I feel like doing, whether or not it's important for the moment. And I'm a last minute crammer. The good thing is that I learned how to multitask and to finish my work fast. (But my output sometimes suffers...)

[Maximilianus]

I guess the only thing that will help is time, they say that after you are 25-30 years old it will get better. Still waiting... :D
I hope it gets better by then. Try to be patient Anna :)

Same here. I find it hard not to stay logged in here when using the net. Such a hard habit to break.

About managing time, I admit I'm one of the many people who find it hard to identify their priorities. I almost always make to-do lists but never accomplish anything. I'm rather spontaneous and I do what I feel like doing, whether or not it's important for the moment. And I'm a last minute crammer. The good thing is that I learned how to multitask and to finish my work fast. (But my output sometimes suffers...)

Maybe we should do what Virgil does. As he put it, it's not only making the list, but also evaluating what we did compared to what we wrote on it. The problem I have experienced the most is having to do what I really dislike. It's as if I never end up doing it completely, so it turns out to be a total failure because if I hopefully did a bit of it, it was unwillingly. However, I know this happens to everyone. We can't always do what we really like, but we can try to make our lists so that most of their items match our very nature and so we wouldn't have to accomplish so many unpleasant tasks :)

[blazeofglory]

This sounds interesting and relevant to me for this problem is common to many of us. While we try to be individualistic as this is what today ideas of liberty all about, kind of idée fixe. All I feel is man must not simply try to consolidate his sense of freedom into his personal or self fulfillment. In fact we enjoy things in common or in togetherness. You want to cry because someone there is there to watch you or understand your feelings. Of course we cry alone also, but tears and bursts of laughter are things shared mostly.

What I say seem irrelevant to management of time questioned here, but the point I want to put forward is we must have enough times for others, and having or apportioning enough time for others do not mean we are depriving us of our moments

[Maximilianus]

What I say seem irrelevant to management of time questioned here, but the point I want to put forward is we must have enough times for others, and having or apportioning enough time for others do not mean we are depriving us of our moments

It's completely relevant, blaze. This is exactly a good part of my dilemmas regarding time management. Thanks for your opinions.

[blazeofglory]

In point of fact time is a term we fail to understand. Time is likened to a stream that moves eternally.

We understand time by measurement-past, present and future. In reality there is no time and this cannot be measured.

We try to grasp time and own it. Whereas it cannot be owned at all.

[Maximilianus]

In point of fact time is a term we fail to understand. Time is likened to a stream that moves eternally.

We understand time by measurement-past, present and future. In reality there is no time and this cannot be measured.

We try to grasp time and own it. Whereas it cannot be owned at all.

I agree, though I guess we have no other means than that of time to organize our lives and what we do with them.

[blazeofglory]

I agree, though I guess we have no other means than that of time to organize our lives and what we do with them.

In fact getting overly conscious about time leads to a state of stress in life. While in management or in offices we must be very conscious about time but in real life if you are too much aware about it and want to make the most of it you will simply stress your life.

[blazeofglory]

I agree, though I guess we have no other means than that of time to organize our lives and what we do with them.

In fact getting overly conscious about time leads to a state of stress in life. While in management or in offices we must be very conscious about time but in real life if you are too much aware about it and want to make the most of it you will simply stress your life.

If you are spiritually really ocnsicous you go above time and space in life. Time is not that important in spirituality. There is a state of timelessness.

Time is a sheer measurement and nothing else and it kind of delimits our existence narowing down our horizon.

[Maximilianus]

In fact getting overly conscious about time leads to a state of stress in life. While in management or in offices we must be very conscious about time but in real life if you are too much aware about it and want to make the most of it you will simply stress your life.

If you are spiritually really ocnsicous you go above time and space in life. Time is not that important in spirituality. There is a state of timelessness.

Time is a sheer measurement and nothing else and it kind of delimits our existence narowing down our horizon.

I completely agree with you, blaze. Time is a real stressing burden, even being just a concept. It makes us one-eyed entities, with only one eye left to find the way to really important destinations.

[BibliophileTRJ]

So do you really believe there's a way to make a wise use of your time when your time does not belong only to you,....

Your time DOES belong to you. You just have to decide who and what you are going to give your time to. Mom is a good choice.... the internet is probably not (depending upon what you're doing on the 'net).

You COULD choose to keep all of your time for yourself... you just won't have any friends or education or employment....



It's not just making the list, but evaluating how you did against them at the end of every week and every month. The self evaluation part is important.

Years ago when I owned a business and a home I was a compulsive list maker. (it served me well... enabling me to remain focused enough on all of the demands on my time and meet them well enough to be relatively successful) It was the evaluation part that led me realize that none of the things I was doing were making me happy.

i.e.

In fact getting overly conscious about time leads to a state of stress in life. .

So, I got selfish and decided to keep all of my time for myself.... I sold my business and "ran away" from all of the things that placed demands on my time.

Now I live in an ever-present NOW. I eat when I'm hungry, I sleep when I'm tired, I read when I want, I sail all the time, I explore new (to me) lands, I fish, I swim, I write when the mood strikes, I climb mountains & plumb caves, I learn all I can about everything around me. I do what I want when I want just because I want to.

Sounds ideal doesn't it? Nobody places demands on my time.

There is only 1 MAJOR DRAWBACK....
Nobody places demands on my time!!
I don't feel needed, I don't feel helpful, or even useful.
It's almost unbearably lonely not having to do anything for anybody.

So, I guess in summation, my advice to Maximilianus (the original poster) is to give what time you can to others and keep what you need for yourself. Only you can draw that line. (and where that line is will need to change often... allow it to do so)

[caddy_caddy]

So do you really believe there's a way to make a wise use of your time when your time does not belong only to you, without killing many hours of sleep? Does "a wise use of time" even exist as a method? If so, would you share your method with me before I get hopelessly despaired
Yeh WISE people make a wise use of THEIR time.:D ( like Virgil)
I think time is always ours and it is WE who decide to give it to others .
I do like and hope to prioritize my time ( still trying); it sounds more flexible than managing. Some people are very strict about their time schedule and they are not willing to change it for whatever reasons. They become PROGRAMMED like machines .

[Maximilianus]

Sorry for not replying before to the last posters :redface:


Your time DOES belong to you. You just have to decide who and what you are going to give your time to. Mom is a good choice.... the internet is probably not (depending upon what you're doing on the 'net).

You COULD choose to keep all of your time for yourself... you just won't have any friends or education or employment....
Agreed :nod:



Years ago when I owned a business and a home I was a compulsive list maker. (it served me well... enabling me to remain focused enough on all of the demands on my time and meet them well enough to be relatively successful) It was the evaluation part that led me realize that none of the things I was doing were making me happy.
Interesting really, so... you changed your line of work radically? Are you happier now?




(...)

So, I got selfish and decided to keep all of my time for myself.... I sold my business and "ran away" from all of the things that placed demands on my time.

Now I live in an ever-present NOW. I eat when I'm hungry, I sleep when I'm tired, I read when I want, I sail all the time, I explore new (to me) lands, I fish, I swim, I write when the mood strikes, I climb mountains & plumb caves, I learn all I can about everything around me. I do what I want when I want just because I want to.

Sounds ideal doesn't it? Nobody places demands on my time.

There is only 1 MAJOR DRAWBACK....
Nobody places demands on my time!!
I don't feel needed, I don't feel helpful, or even useful.
It's almost unbearably lonely not having to do anything for anybody.
A deep analysis. I feel you are right.


So, I guess in summation, my advice to Maximilianus (the original poster) is to give what time you can to others and keep what you need for yourself. Only you can draw that line. (and where that line is will need to change often... allow it to do so)
Thank you Biblio, your words have inspired me to allow some changes :)


Yeh WISE people make a wise use of THEIR time.:D ( like Virgil)
I think time is always ours and it is WE who decide to give it to others .
I do like and hope to prioritize my time ( still trying); it sounds more flexible than managing. Some people are very strict about their time schedule and they are not willing to change it for whatever reasons. They become PROGRAMMED like machines .
Yea, it's true. I would really hate to become a machine. I love variations because I feel that our variable behavior is what makes us an interesting species.

[blazeofglory]

Time is something we have named, and think once more the meaning of it. We have named it after the revolution of the earth or by the movement of the solar system.

See where is time? Yesterdays, today, tomorrows are understood in terms of events only.

Time is a relative term.

Here what I say has no relevance but the subject itself promoted me to write these lines.

We are in fact too much obsessed with time.

Too much awareness of time restrains us and in fact if we rise a little above the concernedess of time we will be relieved of the burden of events. To put it differently, to make us too much aware of time means to delimit our existence.
Maybe that is why eastern philosophies assert that we must be in a timelessness and spacelessness to be closer to truth.