hedbanger
09-19-2007, 02:52 PM
When I was just a baby, my mother would tell me of a place that thrived on complete nonsense. This was the birthplace for the strange and the insane, and consequently it was full of magic. Of course, as a baby I merely heard the cut-down versions of these tales. It was only recently that a passing magic man and his daughter recounted the tales to me in full. Only then did I understand the meaning behind the ridiculous rhymes and here I have decided to pass them on.
Before you can understand the tales, you must understand the magic man and his daughter. The man was born in East India and his daughter in China. Recently they'd been traveling all along the English countryside, spinning stories for food. The pair had lived poor for their entire lives, and the young woman was nine months pregnant, adding to their desperation. Neither of them dressed, or acted, or sounded like anything of this world. Yet, despite their strangeness, they swore that their stories were true, and I was inclined to believe them.
Most of these tales occur in the tiny town of Buckingshire, a day and a night’s walk from London. In those days, it was a very short walk from such a large city… and yet Buckingshire remained isolated. The reason why is anyone’s guess. As the magic man and his young gypsy expressed the stories vibrantly from behind a thick wall of flames, I assumed the sheltered Londoners hadn’t the stomach for the characters residing in Buckingshire. Do you?
Peter, Peter, pumpkin-eater,
Had a wife and couldn’t keep her;
He put her in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her very well.
Peter Pickering was the most handsome young man in Buckingshire, born just south of the intersection of Old Dirt Road and Dreary Lane. While he could have had almost any young maiden in the town, he only had eyes for Teresina. Unfortunately for him, Teresina was also lovely and had several suitors. It seemed he’d picked the one woman he couldn’t have.
Peter was determined, however, and once he noticed Teresina had a love of money, he set about making a fortune. You see, as a child he’d traveled to nearby London and found all sorts of strange plants the explorers had taken from a new world. Among these was the pumpkin, a plant Peter found was the delicious subject of a pie. He moved outside of the town, just below Scrabble Hill, where he purchased a small farm and grew these new fruits. Suddenly, everyone in the town wanted to own a pumpkin, especially around All Hallows Eve. Scary faces could be carved in these pumpkins to scare off the malicious spirits rumored to roam around midnight. As a result, the unusual new fruit sold faster than any in Buckingshire.
Seeing the wealth Peter had acquired, Teresina agreed to marry Peter, but she quickly found that the money did not bring her happiness. Furthermore, Peter had a controlling, paranoid air about him that frightened Teresina, and there were rumors circulating that she was seeking comfort in the arms of other men. Soon enough the whole town was joking. Peter Pickering had a wife, but he couldn’t seem to keep her.
Unfortunately, much to her horror, her lovers were soon turning up missing. Everyone in the town had their suspicions, but there wasn’t any solid evidence against Peter, and thus a case was not brought against him. Meanwhile, the town saw less and less of Teresina, until finally in late October she disappeared all together. Search parties went everywhere, but no one could find her. Her brother, Jack Sprat, was interviewed, Peter was interviewed, the whole town was interviewed! But still no sign of where Teresina could have gone.
No one knew what happened until Pumpkin-Carving season was in full swing, and Little Corrik Blue found Teresina’s frowning head in an empty pumpkin shell, where Peter had kept her, and kept her very well.
Before you can understand the tales, you must understand the magic man and his daughter. The man was born in East India and his daughter in China. Recently they'd been traveling all along the English countryside, spinning stories for food. The pair had lived poor for their entire lives, and the young woman was nine months pregnant, adding to their desperation. Neither of them dressed, or acted, or sounded like anything of this world. Yet, despite their strangeness, they swore that their stories were true, and I was inclined to believe them.
Most of these tales occur in the tiny town of Buckingshire, a day and a night’s walk from London. In those days, it was a very short walk from such a large city… and yet Buckingshire remained isolated. The reason why is anyone’s guess. As the magic man and his young gypsy expressed the stories vibrantly from behind a thick wall of flames, I assumed the sheltered Londoners hadn’t the stomach for the characters residing in Buckingshire. Do you?
Peter, Peter, pumpkin-eater,
Had a wife and couldn’t keep her;
He put her in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her very well.
Peter Pickering was the most handsome young man in Buckingshire, born just south of the intersection of Old Dirt Road and Dreary Lane. While he could have had almost any young maiden in the town, he only had eyes for Teresina. Unfortunately for him, Teresina was also lovely and had several suitors. It seemed he’d picked the one woman he couldn’t have.
Peter was determined, however, and once he noticed Teresina had a love of money, he set about making a fortune. You see, as a child he’d traveled to nearby London and found all sorts of strange plants the explorers had taken from a new world. Among these was the pumpkin, a plant Peter found was the delicious subject of a pie. He moved outside of the town, just below Scrabble Hill, where he purchased a small farm and grew these new fruits. Suddenly, everyone in the town wanted to own a pumpkin, especially around All Hallows Eve. Scary faces could be carved in these pumpkins to scare off the malicious spirits rumored to roam around midnight. As a result, the unusual new fruit sold faster than any in Buckingshire.
Seeing the wealth Peter had acquired, Teresina agreed to marry Peter, but she quickly found that the money did not bring her happiness. Furthermore, Peter had a controlling, paranoid air about him that frightened Teresina, and there were rumors circulating that she was seeking comfort in the arms of other men. Soon enough the whole town was joking. Peter Pickering had a wife, but he couldn’t seem to keep her.
Unfortunately, much to her horror, her lovers were soon turning up missing. Everyone in the town had their suspicions, but there wasn’t any solid evidence against Peter, and thus a case was not brought against him. Meanwhile, the town saw less and less of Teresina, until finally in late October she disappeared all together. Search parties went everywhere, but no one could find her. Her brother, Jack Sprat, was interviewed, Peter was interviewed, the whole town was interviewed! But still no sign of where Teresina could have gone.
No one knew what happened until Pumpkin-Carving season was in full swing, and Little Corrik Blue found Teresina’s frowning head in an empty pumpkin shell, where Peter had kept her, and kept her very well.