Stopwatch

[Jolly McJollyso]

.....

[Adolescent09]

I praise you for your tenacity but chastise you for some of the strong language freely exercised in your writing as if it casually augmented your style. A more genuine effect in your piece could be obtained if you used words which provoked meaning rather than insinuate vulgarity. The gates of a world unlocked by the written word would be far greater and truer if profanity was outcast!


It's good nonetheless. I would just suggest that the profanity be omitted. I have always hated profanity in literature, even when Steinbeck used the word 'da**' in The Grapes of Wrath (which happens to be one of my most favorite books).

[Jolly McJollyso]

Profanity is useless. I never say anything if it's profane. All words have their place; I wouldn't dream of casting any of them out of usage!

Also, thank you for praising my tenacity, but what exactly do you mean by that? How is this story tenacious?

[Adolescent09]

I wasn't calling the story tenacious... I was calling you tenacious. I see you have posted quite a few stories in this category which shows that you are persistent/consistent with your work. I personally believe you show talent... keep it up :)

[Shalot]

did you say there was more coming? I can't wait to read the rest!

[Jolly McJollyso]

There is indeed more coming...eventually.