Utterly Amazing!

[MayanFrau]

_ the foreigner of the world of wombat a survival of New Year t of
management t. of most _, of which suport Wombat of the nation aeººå¹³
of SONY measured the value, possible Pepsi-voltage est of the voltage
of Kolabaum of beb lucky for beb of est _ not a Pepsi-voltage of the
voltage of Kolabaum, for est est possible lucky person? _ the east
material problem or requests, that to necessit of t, t? _ true, that
east file signific of question t t necessit. _ only Juan est Girardi
of duvid of preocup of the full chain, he, if remarkable ours ajud of
the work of the creation no, derrub probable 12 of the personnel of
the relative of responsability 10 of the history of revealer d of the
detail of est great for the rectangle of the piece of carreg of
transformarsi for the work of the station, começ and with suport of
the pseudonym to with the bandaged eyes _ that rectangle of the food
-- Uranian considerable that fixed station t of including of the work,
that the Uranian t exausted. _, that of est t exausted, exact he Gods
nonsuggested of tooth 5 of divinity of est, but of t that each est
that orders, with all _ you est you if neutonio of higo and fig _ with
the false organization this history, that turned continuous loss of
possible of est _ since then that continu or or, continuous series of
the continuation...

[kathycf]

I don't wish to seem unkind, but the only thing that strikes me as "utterly amazing" about your piece is it's sheer incomprehensibility. It seems that you are trying out some sort of imitation of stream of consciousness. It may serve you better to hone your skills with more straight forward prose and when you master THAT to the best of your ability, then try to be more "creative". Even Faulkner and Joyce wrote prose that was straight forward and their steam of consciousness (although not hugely accessible) was not random nonsense words on a page....it did make sense after a fashion.

I am not trying to hurt or discourage you, and hope that you will not take my remarks as that....I am just saying that you need to focus on develpoing the foundation of your art, BEFORE you branch off into the, well...the artsy stuff. :)

[Truth&Light]

Truly amazing Mayanfrau. I read your previous post and was instantly enthralled. This is another master piece of art and literature. The power you display through the written word is without doubt beyond reproach. Can't wait for the next installment.

Continue the good work! I look forward to the continuation! :thumbs_up

[B-Mental]

umm, utterly confusing... would be a good title. Truth&Light, you must have gotten it, please translate this "masterpiece" otherwise I'm going to think that you and MayaFrau exist only on the same keyboard. I don't consider it stream of thought...the words are foreshortened, misused, words don't complement each other, and lets try to lay off the word 'of'...


_ that rectangle of the food-- Uranian considerable that fixed station t of including of the work,... of 3 of times of misused


_ the foreigner of the world of wombat a survival of New Year t of
management t. of most _, of which suport Wombat of the nation aeººå¹³
of SONY measured the value, possible Pepsi-voltage est of the voltage
of Kolabaum of beb lucky for beb of est _ not a Pepsi-voltage of the
voltage of Kolabaum of 13 uses of each of is better seved by a comma.

good luck writing, its obvious you have a long way to go.

[kathycf]

Truth&Light, you must have gotten it, please translate this "masterpiece" otherwise I'm going to think that you and MayaFrau exist only on the same keyboard.


This is another master piece of art and literature. The power you display through the written word is without doubt beyond reproach. Can't wait for the next installment.

After reading MayanFrau's introduction to the "Trilogy" piece, and then looking at what Truth&Light has to say, I am going to agree with you here, B-Mental. I think "Truth" is MayanFrau's alter ego, and I must say I think that sort of thing is pretty immature. Without trying to seem cruel, grandiosity and nonsense words do NOT make art.

[kandaurov]

Profile created and then a comment on this piece on the very same day... no more posts afterwards...

Wow, faking identities for praise!

That is low.

[optimisticnad]

is it in english? i recognise some words?

[kathycf]

Profile created and then a comment on this piece on the very same day... no more posts afterwards...

Wow, faking identities for praise!

That is low.

Well, to be fair, I was only speculating on that as I also think B-Mental was. I don't have any proof, just my own ideas after reading some other stuff written by MayanFrau.

I certainly agree with you that if true, it is pretty low.

[aeroport]

Well, to be fair, I was only speculating on that as I also think B-Mental was. I don't have any proof, just my own ideas after reading some other stuff written by MayanFrau.


Er, you mean, her other post?

[kathycf]

Er, you mean, her other post?
Um, yup.

After reading MayanFrau's introduction to the "Trilogy" piece, and then looking at what Truth&Light has to say...I think "Truth" is MayanFrau's alter ego
It struck me that the use of language was pretty similiar between the two posts, ostensibly by two seperate people. I must confess, at first glance I considered both "the Trilogy" and "Utterly Amazing" to be elaborate pranks, but I based my initial "constructive" criticism in this thread based on the premise that the piece was meant to be read seriously.

However, I can't see any point to ever bothering to respond to any further post this individual makes. There are too many people here who are honestly seeking feedback for their writing and it seems better for me to focus on them.