Sentences you don't want to hear the end of. [Archive]

Jouzou

11-05-2006, 10:16 AM

This game is directly from one chess forum.
"Dear passengers, this is your captain. Does there happen to be a doctor..."

RobinHood3000

11-05-2006, 10:18 AM

Haha, great idea!!

“Good evening, Mr. Hood, I’m with the Reaper family. My name is Grim, and I’ll be...”

Jouzou

11-05-2006, 10:54 AM

"When we pulled you over, the alcohol content of your blood was..."

kathycf

11-06-2006, 02:41 AM

The parachute? I thought you packed it, OH...!"

imthefoolonthehill

11-06-2006, 03:26 AM

I like you as a person but,

RobinHood3000

11-06-2006, 06:48 AM

"It's not you, it's...well, actually, it IS..."

kathycf

11-06-2006, 01:11 PM

Oh, look at all the pretty birds flying over my head...hey wait a minute, they are going to....

Virgil

11-06-2006, 02:28 PM

Your car engine has siezed. It's going to cost...

papayahed

11-06-2006, 03:00 PM

Your car engine has siezed. It's going to cost...

That one sent shivers down my spine!!

AimusSage

11-06-2006, 03:09 PM

I think you are...

Nightshade

11-06-2006, 03:48 PM

Im sorry madam that credit card appears to be....

Pendragon

11-06-2006, 03:57 PM

How about one that actually happened to me!

"Excuse me, sir, but would you mind acting as if everything is normal this evening. You see, your roommate in this hospital is an escapee from ..."

OH YEAH! That's a formula for a stress-free night! :rolleyes: I didn't sleep a wink until they came and got him!

Virgil

11-06-2006, 04:05 PM

Pendragon

11-06-2006, 04:23 PM

:lol: I love it, Pen. That is so funny, but I bet it wasn't when it happened.No, it wasn't Virgil! I mean, I knew the dude was strange, I had woke up one night to find him standing over me just staring vacantly. So I learned to sleep lightly. But when they told me about the MP's coming for him, and to act normal so as not to tip him off, I was in stark terror! No, I didn't tip him off, but when they came in and jumped him, I hid behind the bed! :lol:

Serenata

11-06-2006, 04:26 PM

"Yes, the lab tests have confirmedit, we have to remove ..........."

Virgil

11-06-2006, 04:58 PM

No, it wasn't Virgil! I mean, I knew the dude was strange, I had woke up one night to find him standing over me just staring vacantly. So I learned to sleep lightly. But when they told me about the MP's coming for him, and to act normal so as not to tip him off, I was in stark terror! No, I didn't tip him off, but when they came in and jumped him, I hid behind the bed! :lol:

Oh my God. It sounds like a great story. Perhaps for the next short story contest.

RobinHood3000

11-06-2006, 06:00 PM

Haha, my condolences, Pen!

"I'm dreadfully sorry, but I have explosive..."

Shalot

11-06-2006, 06:59 PM

"I'm dreadfully sorry, but I have explosive..."

Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you that this restroom is out of .....

RobinHood3000

11-06-2006, 07:11 PM

The good news is, I just finished cleaning your restroom. The really good news is, I just discovered a new species of...

toni

11-06-2006, 10:24 PM

I emailed National Geographic... They are interested in the species and would klike to..

cuppajoe_9

11-06-2006, 11:32 PM

"Side-effects may include..."

toni

11-06-2006, 11:40 PM

Verbal diarhhea..... Is there a cure for...

cuppajoe_9

11-06-2006, 11:42 PM

"Sorry folks, but..." (Particularly whilst aboard an aircraft).

toni

11-06-2006, 11:43 PM

The left wing got blown away... Does anyone have....

OZEED

11-07-2006, 04:41 AM

remember when I told you that I stayed over at my friends house, well......

shinigami

11-07-2006, 07:50 AM

Congratulations Mr and Mrs --insert last name here-- you have a... I think that's a boy, or is it a girl.. Oh my gosh! It's bo----

(The sentence didn't end.. technically...)

toni

11-07-2006, 07:53 AM

According to Ms. Windermere, Oscar's love for Constance is....

shinigami

11-07-2006, 07:57 AM

Why is your head ----

toni

11-07-2006, 07:58 AM

Whatever is that thing on your........

shinigami

11-07-2006, 08:00 AM

Is that thing you just ate ----

toni

11-07-2006, 08:04 AM

The best thing about being young is....

RobinHood3000

11-07-2006, 08:12 AM

You didn't eat that, did you? You did? Um...IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE --"

shinigami

11-07-2006, 08:12 AM

I'm sorry but do you remember the thing I borrowed last month... it kinda ---

RobinHood3000

11-07-2006, 08:27 AM

"You know, your girlfriend really likes my..."

shinigami

11-07-2006, 08:33 AM

What? The deadline is -----

Pendragon

11-07-2006, 11:18 AM

"Of course those mushrooms are safe to eat, my husband knows which ones..." (Select finger to run down throat to induce vomitting here...:sick: )

Virgil

11-07-2006, 11:20 AM

Surprise class, today we are having an exam on....

Pendragon

11-07-2006, 11:23 AM

Another real one from me. I'm laying on the bed, with no shirt on reading a book. My oldest son walks in and drops something on my bare stomach. "Hey, dad, what kind of snake is..." And it WAS a small Copperhead, which are poisonous. Thank God, I am much faster than I appear to be! :lol:

kilted exile

11-07-2006, 12:03 PM

"you know, if you would....."

Virgil

11-07-2006, 12:33 PM

Jouzou

11-07-2006, 12:40 PM

"Honey, guess what? I saw the most lovely pair of shoes in the shop window! And they cost only..."

Dixie Chick

11-07-2006, 03:47 PM

Good afternoon, this is the dean at your son's school....

Virgil

11-07-2006, 04:23 PM

Phone rings. Picks it up. "Mr. Virgil, are you sitting down at the moment? Well you're...has just been in ..."

OZEED

11-08-2006, 05:06 AM

*GASP*..............

*DOUBLE GASP!*

Vada Dagon

11-08-2006, 06:08 AM

Due to recent budget cuts our company needs to perform some cutbacks and therefore....

toni

11-08-2006, 06:23 AM

You have a twin, don't you, the guy who escaped from prison looks...

Virgil

11-08-2006, 07:56 AM

Last night, what was your wife doing with....

Stefan

11-08-2006, 08:02 AM

We are not very sure of your diagnostic, but we are sure that the autopsy will clear things out...

shinigami

11-08-2006, 08:38 AM

I saw you die!! Why are you ----

Pendragon

11-09-2006, 01:09 PM

"Considering the case very cafefully, Mr. Harris, I sentence you to..."

PS Virgil and Ozeed: You think you gasped! I'll bet I could have beat Jackie Chan's hand speed getting that snake caught behind the head and off my stomach! My son is one of these daredevil types that doesn't have enough sense to be afraid of anything. It could have been worse. We have rattlesnakes here in these mountains! :lol:

shinigami

11-10-2006, 07:13 AM

If you curse that person to hell, you must go there yourself ----

Pendragon

11-10-2006, 11:33 AM

"Dear _____. You have been chosen for jury..."

Pendragon

11-10-2006, 11:34 AM

"Dear ______. Your military service draft number has been..."

Pendragon

11-10-2006, 11:41 AM

Another real one that I got over the phone! "In examining your recent CAT scan, there appears to be a tumor..."

Fortunately, the person reading the CAT scan didn't know what he was talking about as the experts they sent me to for emergency surgery confirmed. Talk about nearly giving a man a heart attack! My doctors had him severely reprimanded, and he almost lost his job!

Shalot

11-10-2006, 09:50 PM

I do apologize for the inconvenience but we are unable to complete your request because.... (this is coming from some customer service rep who works for a company that just took your money and gave you bad products or services and tells you that since you signed the agreement before the purchase you are absolutely not entitled to any kind of recompense...:flare: )

kathycf

11-12-2006, 12:17 PM

I ran out of kindling wood, so I used a couple of lottery tickets I saw on the table as...

Virgil

11-12-2006, 12:21 PM

Here's one that actually happened to me. And to let people know, I do get sea sick.

We are sorry to inform you, but this boat is headed for rough seas. If anyone needs a barf bag, please raise your....

Jouzou

11-12-2006, 12:54 PM

Hello. My name is [incomprehensible gibberish]. I come from Finland and...