the end

[spally]

a thousand deaths and you'd never know.
another test you can't help but fail.
the time it takes you to finally see,
it will all be too late for me.
the time has come and it is coming to and end.
from all the things we talked about.
to end of night ,
the morning day,
the birds will sing,
as i walk away.
good times and bad,
we helped when we could.
now all i see is this blank page of our book.
its the last page and its waiting for words.
as i write them and as i try,
the words will not seem to stay alive.
their dying as they hit the page,
striving for our memories.
light is dimming and i ca hardly see,
yet the words still pour from me.
growing up and changing more.
our time together had come to end,
this is the last of our friendship book.
our memoies and good-bye things.
is is my thousandth death,
and still you didn't see,
you are the friend i was meant to leave.0
now its too late for me
to fix the test you failed.
now the birds sing this end with me,
the end.

[blp]

Spelling mistake in the first line.

Spally, there's nothing to grab onto here. Who, what, when, where and how? Look, to give really crude examples:

1
The awfulness I feel
is indescribable
a terrible, lost, lonely, feeling
cold as can be

or

2
a cracked skull grins at me
the way you used to
before your old fiat
became a fireball on the turnpike

Pleaaaase give us some stuff. It doesn't have to be as melodramatic as example 2, but something.

[imrad]

its soooo..... final. i like.

[Bandini]

its soooo..... final. i like.

Final is the last word I would use to describe it! No need to get wrapped up in spelling etc. - but come on!

'fraid it doesn't do it for me. Liked that melodramatic example!

[Bandini]

aww! Just seen yor animation on your profile - pathos!

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Sorry again Spally, but you could add this to the end of your last poem and no-one would notice the join. Try and separate the poem into verses, with a definite, distinct theme for each. Try to use specifics instead of generalities. Try to use a change of mood or direction somewhere within the poem. This is just more of the same I'm afraid.