aloft

[amuse]

i am in the kitchen
studying o-chem
making muffins.

my despondency
leaks into the batter
out of the D-glucose
onto the blender and
under my tongue;
i taste the swirls of
pain the absence of
her laugh, her
smile, the absence of
her angel eyes

and am startled when

handel breaks
in upon my
silence with "hallelujah!"
and various other
choral streams

i am perplexed as to
why i hum along -
perhaps i should
volunteer for the
loony bin?

but the music
intrudes again
impales itself upon
my misery
defies me
and says
YOU WILL BE HAPPY

i feel her tiny
hand in mine

and she places in it
a jewel
which i can barely lift
it is so big, my
baby's heart
the purest
most delicate
heart in the world

i am tired and clumsy
overwhelmed and sad;
and so afraid that
it might burn me
but handel
reassures me
"you will do it;
you will bear
and display this
unearthly wonder
for the rest of your life"

"hallelujah" i hear again:
a streaming repetition of
bliss and joy

i see that my sorrow is
heavy because i have been
weak i will need
strength like never before
to hold onto what
she has given me.

i haven't got any now
but the music has;
i notice as it
caresses me that
the world has started
to tip upright again.

[Riesa]

I'm in tears, amuse. I see you. Brave and strong, a wonder.

[Virgil]

amuse

I've enjoyed your other poems on this subject, but I think on this one for me you crossed from pathos into bathos. The emotion, while certainly honest, is too heavy handed: "my despondency/leaks into the batter," "i taste the swirls of/pain," "impales itself upon/my misery." Unlike the other poems where you let us feel the pain from the situation, here you tell us of the pain through mawkish metaphors.

Here's the part of the poem I think was the most engaging:

i feel her tiny
hand in mine

and she places in it
a jewel
which i can barely lift
it is so big, my
baby's heart
the purest
most delicate
heart in the world

Notice how you don't even mention your emotions here; you just describe the imaginative situation. The emotion comes through.

I hope you don't mind the criticism. I think you can improve this poem by replacing those metaphors with descriptive flashbacks.

[Koa]

Just great to see amuse, it's been a while!