Story Continuation

[jakobin]

easy game. just continue the story and we will see where we get to after afew people have posted.


Bob was just walking down the street when suddenly, a huge...

[samercury]

Sounds fun

....eight-eyed spider appeared from the middle of nowhere and started to talk. He said....

[emily655321]

Yayyyy!! I love this game. :D :banana:

..."Is there a store nearby where I can buy some Preparation-H?" Bob stared for a moment and replied,...

[samercury]

...."Wait one sec, 'kay..I have some in the car" Then he started running as fast as he could. The spider surprised by the turn of events........

[emily655321]

...looked down, and noticed that Bob had dropped his sunglasses in his haste. The spider picked them up delicately with his pincers and scurried after him. Then, just as the spider was about to catch up with Bob at a cross-walk,...

[Pensive]

....the spider forgot the way to Bob's home so he looked at Bob and then....

[samercury]

....politely asked: "Why were you running away from me? I just want us to be friends." When he noticed that Bob still appeared to be uncomfortable, he said: "Do you want to come over to my place? It'd be fun!" Bob.......

[Pensive]

....knew that spider's place would be fun so he.....

[samercury]

.....decided to stop being so scared and to follow him. Before that, he had one question for the spider: "Say mister spider, what......

[Pensive]

are you having there for me to eat?" Spider......

[samercury]

....thought about the question that Bob just asked him. He couldn't decide wheter to tell the truth to the only friend he ever had. At last, he took a big breath and said:.....

[jakobin]

I'll tell you the truth Bob...the only reason i asked you over to my house was so that i could show you this new book i wrote called...

[Darlin]

Bob was just walking down the street when suddenly, a huge . . . eight-eyed spider appeared from the middle of nowhere and started to talk. He said . . . ..."Is there a store nearby where I can buy some Preparation-H?" Bob stared for a moment and replied,... ...."Wait one sec, 'kay..I have some in the car" Then he started running as fast as he could. The spider surprised by the turn of events...........looked down, and noticed that Bob had dropped his sunglasses in his haste. The spider picked them up delicately with his pincers and scurried after him. Then, just as the spider was about to catch up with Bob at a cross-walk,... ....the spider forgot the way to Bob's home so he looked at Bob and then.... ....politely asked: "Why were you running away from me? I just want us to be friends." When he noticed that Bob still appeared to be uncomfortable, he said: "Do you want to come over to my place? It'd be fun!" Bob....... ....knew that spider's place would be fun so he..... .....decided to stop being so scared and to follow him. Before that, he had one question for the spider: "Say mister spider, what...... are you having there for me to eat?" Spider...... ....thought about the question that Bob just asked him. He couldn't decide whether to tell the truth to the only friend he ever had. At last, he took a big breath and said:..... I'll tell you the truth Bob...the only reason I asked you over to my house was so that I could show you this new book I wrote called..."1,001 Ways to Cook Humans."

[Nightshade]

is that the end???

[Darlin]

Nope. I just added my little 2 cents. Won't you add yours?

[Nightshade]

humm ok then
_-------------------------------------------------
Bob was a stupid boy who thought siders were like dragons so, he

[Darlin]

. . . assumed the spider was only joking and being so odd and out of place in the real world just didn't know how to relate to real people. And since he liked dragons well enough . . .

[Nightshade]

he said hey why not and followed the spider into his palour, where

[jakobin]

Bob looked at the spider and thought..."Hell!! This guy is going to want to cook me when we get to his place. I'll have to come up with a devious plan to escape his gaze when we are walking there." with that thought bob and Mr. Spider starting walking towards The Web, when Bob said, "...

[Pensive]

Let me watch Sisterhood Of Traveling Pants" Spider made an awful face and...

[samercury]

.....started yelling as loud as he could: "I HATE that movie!!!" Bob realized that this wasn't a good idea. Trying to appease the spider and at the same time not getting eaten, he suggested: "What do you want to watch?" The spider......

[Pensive]

answered in a strange manner. "I want to watch Something Wicked This Way Comes"

Bob...

[jakobin]

then thought, "I've had enough of this mate, I'm outta here!!". Bob ran out of the Spiders place, down the road and across the bridge. Suddenly he fell over the side of the bridge, and landed in...

[Nightshade]

a pig stye, where the carniverous Pigs of Getfatquik Land were living. Bob sat up with round eyes and looked at the pigest of the three pigs as it...

[jakobin]

looked surprisingly at Bob. Bob knew he was safe as carniverous pigs only eat Pig, so he carefully climbed out of the pis stye after a nice cup of tea and some biscuits, and walked along the bottom of a hill, until he came to Leonardo, the amazing Siberian...

[bimboh8r]

Leonardo was also canabalistic, but this was less fortunate for Leonardo happened to be a human like Bob...

[emily655321]

"Good evening," said Leonardo, doffing his workman's cap (for as anyone knows, Siberian cannibals are very polite as a rule). "Hi," said Bob, wiping the crumbs off of his beard. Noticing Leonardo's shirt, he added, "Hey, are you all right, mate? You've red on you..." Leonardo...

[RobinHood3000]

...quickly pulled up a cauldron of boiling water and added some salt and garlic, staring at Bob in a very unsettling manner, when Bob suddenly...

[samercury]

....started to get uncomfortable. Trying to figure out what was going on, Bob asked his new acquaintance: "What's that red thing on the shirt? It looks a lot like......

[jakobin]

"Blood", said Leonardo. Bob looked at Leonardo, and said, "Leonardo, please, I've had a pretty bad day, whats going on....". Suddenly, Leonardo grabbed Bob, shoved him under the water, holding him down. "You can call me Leo" he said as Bob went limp.

After a tidy meal, Leo started off down the path towards the lake...

[Nightshade]

Where he was sure he would find more victim-pardon me- meals holidaying.

[Nightshade]

Bob was just walking down the street when suddenly, a huge eight-eyed spider appeared from the middle of nowhere and started to talk. He said "Is there a store nearby where I can buy some Preparation-H?" Bob stared for a moment and replied, "Wait one sec, 'kay..I have some in the car" Then he started running as fast as he could. The spider surprised by the turn of events looked down, and noticed that Bob had dropped his sunglasses in his haste. The spider picked them up delicately with his pincers and scurried after him. Then, just as the spider was about to catch up with Bob at a cross-walk, the spider forgot the way to Bob's home so he looked at Bob and then politely asked: "Why were you running away from me? I just want us to be friends." When he noticed that Bob still appeared to be uncomfortable, he said: "Do you want to come over to my place? It'd be fun!"

Bob knew that spider's place would be fun so he decided to stop being so scared and to follow him. Before that, he had one question for the spider: "Say mister spider, what are you having there for me to eat?" Spider thought about the question that Bob just asked him. He couldn't decide whether to tell the truth to the only friend he ever had. At last, he took a big breath and said: I'll tell you the truth Bob...the only reason I asked you over to my house was so that I could show you this new book I wrote called..."1,001 Ways to Cook Humans."

Bob was a stupid boy who thought spiders were like dragons so, he assumed the spider was only joking and being so odd and out of place in the real world just didn't know how to relate to real people. And since he liked dragons well enough he said hey why not and followed the spider into his palour, where Bob looked at the spider and thought..."Hell!! This guy is going to want to cook me when we get to his place. I'll have to come up with a devious plan to escape his gaze when we are walking there." with that thought bob and Mr. Spider starting walking towards The Web, when Bob said, "Let me watch Sisterhood Of Traveling Pants" Spider made an awful face and started yelling as loud as he could: "I HATE that movie!!!" Bob realized that this wasn't a good idea. Trying to appease the spider and at the same time not getting eaten, he suggested: "What do you want to watch?" The spider answered in a strange manner. "I want to watch Something Wicked This Way Comes"

Bob then thought, "I've had enough of this mate, I'm outta here!!". Bob ran out of the Spiders place, down the road and across the bridge. Suddenly he fell over the side of the bridge, and landed in a pig stye, where the carniverous Pigs of Getfatquik Land were living. Bob sat up with round eyes and looked at the pigest of the three pigs as it looked surprisingly at Bob. Bob knew he was safe as carniverous pigs only eat Pig, so he carefully climbed out of the pis stye after a nice cup of tea and some biscuits, and walked along the bottom of a hill, until he came to Leonardo, the amazing Siberian Leonardo was also canabalistic, but this was less fortunate for Leonardo happened to be a human like Bob "Good evening," said Leonardo, doffing his workman's cap (for as anyone knows, Siberian cannibals are very polite as a rule). "Hi," said Bob, wiping the crumbs off of his beard. Noticing Leonardo's shirt, he added, "Hey, are you all right, mate? You've red on you..." Leonardo quickly pulled up a cauldron of boiling water and added some salt and garlic, staring at Bob in a very unsettling manner, when Bob suddenly started to get uncomfortable. Trying to figure out what was going on, Bob asked his new acquaintance: "What's that red thing on the shirt? It looks a lot like "Blood", said Leonardo. Bob looked at Leonardo, and said, "Leonardo, please, I've had a pretty bad day, whats going on....". Suddenly, Leonardo grabbed Bob, shoved him under the water, holding him down. "You can call me Leo" he said as Bob went limp.

After a tidy meal, Leo started off down the path towards the lake where he was sure he would find more victim-pardon me- meals holidaying.
______________________________________
:D :lol:

[Pensive]

SO, We got to start a new story?

[jakobin]

should i start a new story?? tell you what, I'll start a story... :P ...and I'll save Bob's story and we will laugh about it later.

The Story of Where Pensive's Blue Bird Is Going, And Why, And A Whole Load Of Details Around It.

Mrs. Blue Bird was flapping her wings at an amazing pace as she flew through the air towards...

[RobinHood3000]

...a Boeing 747 filled with pixies, which suddenly began to...

[Nightshade]

Dance around in the most unhealthy manner so that the pixies had to open the emergncy door to...

[Nightshade]

through out the pilot who obviously couldnt fly. At this exact moment Mrsbluebird saw her daughter Avy start flapping her wings wildly in her first ever flight....

[samercury]

....and decided to give her some advice: "Avy my dear, don't flap your wings in such a disturbing way. It will make you....

[Pensive]

more and more restless but.....

[rachel]

Avy, being the fun and free spirited creature she was did not regard the voice of her mama. Instead she closed her eyes and began to fly up and down and then began making circles, loving the wind rush over her. Suddenly....

[Xamonas Chegwe]

a huge non sequitur appeared (a propos of nothing) and anachronistically, purposelessly and without malice aforethought...

[Pensive]

tried to capture her.....

[Xamonas Chegwe]

but in such a half-hearted, lacklustre way, that all he succeeded in doing was stirring up a huge cloud of dust. Avy, choking wildly and blinded by the dust in her eyes, flew straight into a ....

[Riesa]

Window, toppled to the floor and was sucked out the still open door. Falling for what seemed like miles, dust still clouding her vision, she struggled to regain flight. The rush of the wind caused her eyes to water, clearing some of the dust out. She could just make out below her the snakelike pattern of a river, menancingly churning from the force of a great waterfall. She.........

[Xamonas Chegwe]

began flapping her wings frantically but somewhere in the previous few posts she had lost half of her feathers and all she succeeded in doing was to spin in small circles instead of falling straight down. Luckily, she had reason to be thankful for her mother's insane over-protectiveness; she opened the parachute that she was wearing and slowed her descent to a more comfortable rate. Just as she was beginning to relax and enjoy the magnificent view, she looked down to see that she was still heading for the river and just upstream of the waterfall at that! There was no way to steer the cheap, war-surpluss chute (mother was as overcautious with her purse as with her offspring) so she just hung there, lifting her feet as high as she could to prolong the impending drenching for absolutely as long as possible.

Then, just as she was about to touch the icy flow, she saw ....

[Pensive]

A black thing which she was not able to recognize, at the moment....

[emily655321]

Avy hurriedly fumbled with something in her pocket, withdrawing a pair of glasses. She put them on to see that the black form towards which she was hurtling was none other than Huck Finn's legendary raft. However, she had no time to ponder this development, as just then...

[samercury]

lol
...her parachute gave out and Avy fell in the water. Unfortunately, she hadn't been playing attention in ESC (emergency swimming class). Seeing that the strange raft was her last hope, she chirped, trying to get some attention. The struggle was too much and...

[emily655321]

...as her vision went dark, the little bird began to contemplate more metaphysical questions.

A large jolt and loud voices woke Avy suddenly. She squinted her eyes against the glaring light of midday, and began to make out two faces....

[Xamonas Chegwe]

One belonged to a large bear, who was poking her gently with his finger. The other to a small piglet, standing behind and looking anxious.

"See Pooh, I told you she was still alive!" said the piglet, now grinning and skipping around in little circles.

"Hmmm." said Pooh, "I wonder if she likes hunny, because I've only really got enough for me, you know."

Looking around, Avy could see that she had been dragged aboard the raft. But what where these two doing on Huck Finn's raft? She tried to ask them but only managed to squawk out a mouthfull of river water.

"That's the way", said Pooh, "spit it out. We'll soon get you to Dr Moriarty, he'll make you feel better."

"Moriarty!" thought Avy, "What's he doing in this story? There's something very wrong indeed going on here."

"He's at the bottom of the falls of course!" said piglet, "That's where he's been since ... er ... the accident, you know." (Avy hadn't realised she'd spoken her thoughts aloud and blushed furiously.)

"So these are the Reichenback falls?" asked Avy.

Pooh nodded, a "don't you know anything?" look on his face. "Hang on tight, we're going over!"

Avy clung to the raft as ....

[emily655321]

...it glided effortlessly into the air on an updraft.

"I didn't know this raft could fly!" Avy gasped in astonishment. But, as no answer was forthcoming, she looked around for her two companions, and found that she was alone.

Looking over the edge of the raft, Avy spied the two creatures, who had rolled off the raft when it left the surface. Pooh sat, rubbing a sore knee, on a small rock outcropping at the edge of the falls. Piglet was nowhere to be seen. But, just then...

[Riesa]

spotting what at first had appeared to be an old fashioned pink swim costume, Avy realized that it was really Piglet swirling in circles at the bottom of the waterfall. Scared for her new found friend, Avy dived off the flying raft, and shot towards the soaking Piglet. He was alternatively sinking and surfacing, she managed to grab him by his little fuzzy hoof right as he was going down for what seemed like the last time. She attempted to fly up but his sodden stuffing was dragging her back towards the waterfall, a gust of wind caught them and propelled them straight at it, and through it. There was a magnificent room on the other side of the waterfall, Avy couldn't believe what she was seeing...

[Xamonas Chegwe]

it had to be... but it couldn't be... but it was! She was inside the palace of Versailles and, if she wasn't very much mistaken, running towards them, swords out, were the three musketeers: Athos, Porthos and Aramis, and trotting along behind, trying desperately to keep up was... Dogtanian! From that awful cartoon series! This adventure was getting more and more ridiculous by the minute.

Piglet ran out in front of her and began shouting in extremely bad french, "Ne touchez elle pas! Ne touchez elle pas! Elle est une ami do moi!"

The musketeers slowed to a walk but made no attempt to sheathe their weapons. The annoying little dog was standing there baring it's teeth and trying to give the impression that , if it wasn't for piglet, she would be skewered like a kebab (somehow, he was less than convincing).

Just then, a deep booming voice sounded from behind the swordsmen...

[Riesa]

"Who dares intrude on the Great Wizard of OZ?"
Ruffling her sparse feathers, Avy thought "I must be dreaming!" But no, it wasn't a dream, but a magical land where dreams came true! She started remembering a horrible nightmare she had had recently about...

[emily655321]

...a ten-foot-high teddy bear who tried to steal her brain by sticking chopsticks up her nose. Just then she felt a small tap on her right shoulder, and looked down to see a pair of chopsticks!

"Why are you staring off into space like that?" said the Oz. "Won't you come and have dinner? Everyone else is waiting. I made lo mein," he added, beaming with pride.

"Uh... oh, all right," said Avy, rousing herself from her daydream. "Where is the dining room?"

"Right this way," replied the Oz, who in reality was a very short, stout little man. He swung his great trailing cape about him and opened a door which led...

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Into a long red corridor with soft, moist walls that had an unsettling way of pulsing and rippling. As Avy passed through the door she suddenly realised what the corridor reminded her of. No, not what it reminded her of; what it was. She had just stepped into a huge throat!

She turned and looked back but the door had gone. The throat stretched back as far as she could see. And far, far back (but getting closer with way too much speed) was a peristaltic wave, pushing gallons and gallons of partly chewed food and what looked like wine before it. She looked around for the wizard, but he had disappeared too, just like the door.

Avy thought about running but there was really no chance of escaping the great tsunami of mealtime detritus that was rushing towards her. For the second time in minutes, she prepared for her final journey to the great nest. She sat down - sat down on something that went, "Ouch! Mind where you're putting your tail feathers!" It was ...

[emily655321]

... a small snail. In a manner of self-satisfied confidentiality, it snickered to Avy, "This guy likes the French delicacies. But I stuck here with my sucker, and he doesn't seem to be enjoying it. We'll be out of here in no time!"

Avy picked up the snail and braced herself for the surge. Then they were lifted, as if by a wave, and carried what felt like a great distance. Avy kept her eyes tightly shut as she rode along, but began to sense that the light had become much brighter.

Suddenly, she felt herself hit something solid, and the ground no longer swelled and moved. She could feel the warmth of the sun on her back, and retreating sand underneath her wings. Gingerly, she opened her eyes.

The snail was no longer there, and Avy was lying on a beach. She found herself clutching a boogie board, and looked back to see the sea rolling back in upon itself. But another wave had reached the shore already, and Avy braced herself as...

[Nightshade]

A dodo appeared from no where along with a white rabbit, a walrus a carpenter and a catapillar. They pulled her to her feet and spun her round and round. They stopped her suddenly when the catapillar began to speak
"The time has come my dear" he said " to speak drying tails. And mice and tea hatters and other such wisdoms;so please proceed to the check out point past the tardis on the right and you will find a hairdryer"
The catapillar pointed her on her way and just as she was dizzily weaving towards the giant gold doors in the floor The walrus handed her a clam.....

[Xamonas Chegwe]

-shell, which opened to reveal a tiny Allan Ginsberg.

"So that's where all of my hallucinogens went!" he cried, all of the purple draining out of the world and dizzying spirals of somebody else.......I think....I don't think.....I think I don't think.....I think I don't.....THINK!!! Don't thin 'k', 'k' is already thin. 'b' is fat and pregnant and there are no but yes there are I don't loop the looooop the looooooooooooop the loooooooooooooooooooooooop and pop pop pop pop pop pop pop POP!.......

....and relax.

Avy blinked. She was back in the plane. The book she had been reading still on her lap. Her mother was arguing with the flight attendant, saying something about, "...of course I haven't had too many peyote cocktails. I know my limits better than you. I'm a sharehiolder in this airline you know. I can have your job!" Avy wondered what a peyote cocktail was made of exactly. She remembered sneaking a sip of mummy's just before things started to get real weird. Still, things were back to normal now. So all's well that ends well.

She looked out of the round, airplane window at the pale blue clouds and pink sky, watching the lazy pines and sycamores fly past, and fell into a blissful ....

[emily655321]

... coma.

The End.

[emily655321]

The Story of Where Pensive's Blue Bird Is Going, And Why, And A Whole Load Of Details Around It.

[Dedicated to Jakobin, who began it.]

[Chapter 1]

Mrs. Blue Bird was flapping her wings at an amazing pace as she flew through the air towards a Boeing 747 filled with pixies, which suddenly began to dance around in the most unhealthy manner so that the pixies had to open the emergncy door to through out the pilot who obviously couldnt fly. At this exact moment Mrsbluebird saw her daughter Avy start flapping her wings wildly in her first ever flight and decided to give her some advice: "Avy my dear, don't flap your wings in such a disturbing way. It will make you more and more restless but Avy, being the fun and free spirited creature she was did not regard the voice of her mama. Instead she closed her eyes and began to fly up and down and then began making circles, loving the wind rush over her. Suddenly a huge non sequitur appeared (a propos of nothing) and anachronistically, purposelessly and without malice aforethought tried to capture her, but in such a half-hearted, lacklustre way, that all he succeeded in doing was stirring up a huge cloud of dust. Avy, choking wildly and blinded by the dust in her eyes, flew straight into a window, toppled to the floor and was sucked out the still open door. Falling for what seemed like miles, dust still clouding her vision, she struggled to regain flight. The rush of the wind caused her eyes to water, clearing some of the dust out. She could just make out below her the snakelike pattern of a river, menancingly churning from the force of a great waterfall. She began flapping her wings frantically but somewhere in the previous few posts she had lost half of her feathers and all she succeeded in doing was to spin in small circles instead of falling straight down. Luckily, she had reason to be thankful for her mother's insane over-protectiveness; she opened the parachute that she was wearing and slowed her descent to a more comfortable rate. Just as she was beginning to relax and enjoy the magnificent view, she looked down to see that she was still heading for the river and just upstream of the waterfall at that! There was no way to steer the cheap, war-surpluss chute (mother was as overcautious with her purse as with her offspring) so she just hung there, lifting her feet as high as she could to prolong the impending drenching for absolutely as long as possible.

Then, just as she was about to touch the icy flow, she saw a black thing which she was not able to recognize, at the moment. Avy hurriedly fumbled with something in her pocket, withdrawing a pair of glasses. She put them on to see that the black form towards which she was hurtling was none other than Huck Finn's legendary raft. However, she had no time to ponder this development, as just then her parachute gave out and Avy fell in the water. Unfortunately, she hadn't been playing attention in ESC (emergency swimming class). Seeing that the strange raft was her last hope, she chirped, trying to get some attention. The struggle was too much and as her vision went dark, the little bird began to contemplate more metaphysical questions.

A large jolt and loud voices woke Avy suddenly. She squinted her eyes against the glaring light of midday, and began to make out two faces. One belonged to a large bear, who was poking her gently with his finger. The other to a small piglet, standing behind and looking anxious.

"See Pooh, I told you she was still alive!" said the piglet, now grinning and skipping around in little circles.

"Hmmm." said Pooh, "I wonder if she likes hunny, because I've only really got enough for me, you know."

Looking around, Avy could see that she had been dragged aboard the raft. But what where these two doing on Huck Finn's raft? She tried to ask them but only managed to squawk out a mouthfull of river water.

"That's the way", said Pooh, "spit it out. We'll soon get you to Dr Moriarty, he'll make you feel better."

"Moriarty!" thought Avy, "What's he doing in this story? There's something very wrong indeed going on here."

"He's at the bottom of the falls of course!" said piglet, "That's where he's been since ... er ... the accident, you know." (Avy hadn't realised she'd spoken her thoughts aloud and blushed furiously.)

"So these are the Reichenback falls?" asked Avy.

Pooh nodded, a "don't you know anything?" look on his face. "Hang on tight, we're going over!"

Avy clung to the raft as it glided effortlessly into the air on an updraft.

"I didn't know this raft could fly!" Avy gasped in astonishment. But, as no answer was forthcoming, she looked around for her two companions, and found that she was alone.

Looking over the edge of the raft, Avy spied the two creatures, who had rolled off the raft when it left the surface. Pooh sat, rubbing a sore knee, on a small rock outcropping at the edge of the falls. Piglet was nowhere to be seen. But, just then, spotting what at first had appeared to be an old fashioned pink swim costume, Avy realized that it was really Piglet swirling in circles at the bottom of the waterfall. Scared for her new found friend, Avy dived off the flying raft, and shot towards the soaking Piglet. He was alternatively sinking and surfacing, she managed to grab him by his little fuzzy hoof right as he was going down for what seemed like the last time. She attempted to fly up but his sodden stuffing was dragging her back towards the waterfall, a gust of wind caught them and propelled them straight at it, and through it. There was a magnificent room on the other side of the waterfall, Avy couldn't believe what she was seeing it had to be... but it couldn't be... but it was! She was inside the palace of Versailles and, if she wasn't very much mistaken, running towards them, swords out, were the three musketeers: Athos, Porthos and Aramis, and trotting along behind, trying desperately to keep up was... Dogtanian! From that awful cartoon series! This adventure was getting more and more ridiculous by the minute.

[emily655321]

[Chapter 2]

Piglet ran out in front of her and began shouting in extremely bad french, "Ne touchez elle pas! Ne touchez elle pas! Elle est une ami do moi!"

The musketeers slowed to a walk but made no attempt to sheathe their weapons. The annoying little dog was standing there baring it's teeth and trying to give the impression that , if it wasn't for piglet, she would be skewered like a kebab (somehow, he was less than convincing).

Just then, a deep booming voice sounded from behind the swordsmen "Who dares intrude on the Great Wizard of OZ?"
Ruffling her sparse feathers, Avy thought "I must be dreaming!" But no, it wasn't a dream, but a magical land where dreams came true! She started remembering a horrible nightmare she had had recently about a ten-foot-high teddy bear who tried to steal her brain by sticking chopsticks up her nose. Just then she felt a small tap on her right shoulder, and looked down to see a pair of chopsticks!

"Why are you staring off into space like that?" said the Oz. "Won't you come and have dinner? Everyone else is waiting. I made lo mein," he added, beaming with pride.

"Uh... oh, all right," said Avy, rousing herself from her daydream. "Where is the dining room?"

"Right this way," replied the Oz, who in reality was a very short, stout little man. He swung his great trailing cape about him and opened a door which led Into a long red corridor with soft, moist walls that had an unsettling way of pulsing and rippling. As Avy passed through the door she suddenly realised what the corridor reminded her of. No, not what it reminded her of; what it was. She had just stepped into a huge throat!

She turned and looked back but the door had gone. The throat stretched back as far as she could see. And far, far back (but getting closer with way too much speed) was a peristaltic wave, pushing gallons and gallons of partly chewed food and what looked like wine before it. She looked around for the wizard, but he had disappeared too, just like the door.

Avy thought about running but there was really no chance of escaping the great tsunami of mealtime detritus that was rushing towards her. For the second time in minutes, she prepared for her final journey to the great nest. She sat down - sat down on something that went, "Ouch! Mind where you're putting your tail feathers!" It was a small snail. In a manner of self-satisfied confidentiality, it snickered to Avy, "This guy likes the French delicacies. But I stuck here with my sucker, and he doesn't seem to be enjoying it. We'll be out of here in no time!"

Avy picked up the snail and braced herself for the surge. Then they were lifted, as if by a wave, and carried what felt like a great distance. Avy kept her eyes tightly shut as she rode along, but began to sense that the light had become much brighter.

Suddenly, she felt herself hit something solid, and the ground no longer swelled and moved. She could feel the warmth of the sun on her back, and retreating sand underneath her wings. Gingerly, she opened her eyes.

The snail was no longer there, and Avy was lying on a beach. She found herself clutching a boogie board, and looked back to see the sea rolling back in upon itself. But another wave had reached the shore already, and Avy braced herself as a dodo appeared from no where along with a white rabbit, a walrus a carpenter and a catapillar. They pulled her to her feet and spun her round and round. They stopped her suddenly when the catapillar began to speak
"The time has come my dear" he said " to speak drying tails. And mice and tea hatters and other such wisdoms;so please proceed to the check out point past the tardis on the right and you will find a hairdryer"
The catapillar pointed her on her way and just as she was dizzily weaving towards the giant gold doors in the floor The walrus handed her a clam-shell, which opened to reveal a tiny Allan Ginsberg.

"So that's where all of my hallucinogens went!" he cried, all of the purple draining out of the world and dizzying spirals of somebody else.......I think....I don't think.....I think I don't think.....I think I don't.....THINK!!! Don't thin 'k', 'k' is already thin. 'b' is fat and pregnant and there are no but yes there are I don't loop the looooop the looooooooooooop the loooooooooooooooooooooooop and pop pop pop pop pop pop pop POP!.......

....and relax.

Avy blinked. She was back in the plane. The book she had been reading still on her lap. Her mother was arguing with the flight attendant, saying something about, "...of course I haven't had too many peyote cocktails. I know my limits better than you. I'm a sharehiolder in this airline you know. I can have your job!" Avy wondered what a peyote cocktail was made of exactly. She remembered sneaking a sip of mummy's just before things started to get real weird. Still, things were back to normal now. So all's well that ends well.

She looked out of the round, airplane window at the pale blue clouds and pink sky, watching the lazy pines and sycamores fly past, and fell into a blissful coma.

The End.

:D :banana:

[Xamonas Chegwe]

So we need another beginning then?

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.

Once upon a time there was a stone. It was rather an ordinary stone. Some might even say, a dull stone. But it didn't care. Not having the capacity to care due to hereditary inanimation. It spent the days and millenia of it's existence lying on the ground in an unenterprising manner until, one day .....

[emily655321]

... it sat up, said "**** this!" and started off on what it decided would be a legendary journey of epic preportions. However, being a stone, and, therefore, not being the most intelligent of creatures, it had failed to observe that what had really roused it from its resting place was a large backhoe. Up the stone sailed, high into the air, and down again. The mammoth shovel deposited its load onto a heap of earth and rock a short distance to its left, and the stone of our tale was smothered beneath the debris.

Now, the hole the shovel was digging is really what this story is about. Fifty by one hundred and a half yards, oblong, and with a considerable number of iron girders and machinery littering the vacinity. It was beginning to become quite an impressive hole, really. The edges were squared off to make room for a concrete foundation, and it was situated at about a ten-foot distance on either side from...

[Nightshade]

Similar holes. Now as everyone will tell, you holes suffer from a predisposition leaning towards pompousness, although as they will gladly inform you if you are unwise enough to stop and listen, as holes they are incapable of leaning any which way and are perfectly perfect in every way. The thing about holes that you must remember is that one is bearable but in mass they can overwhelm you.
But this one hole was different for in it lived a Minus.

Minuses and other negative and anti creatures can only live in anti places like holes and empty cups. Now this young minus did most strenuously object to the wanton destruction of his home by the concrete so he planned to complain to the Building Commotion.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

He organised a meeting, in which endless cups of empty coffee weren't drunk, an infinity of votes weren't taken (by no show of hands) and nonevents weren't organised for the kiddies. The upshot of all this wasn't ....

[Riesa]

in the least difficult to follow. However....

[emily655321]

... Minuses have a negative brain capacity, and so as soon as the proceedings were underway our Minus forgot what he'd come for and wandered nonexistantly out of the non-building.

Outside he was suddenly overwhelmed by the metaphysical implications of non-being, pulled out an un-revolver, and shot himself into existance, where he remained for a while as a small bump on a log, until...

[Xamonas Chegwe]

the log, having floated downriver for several days, found itself entering a sawmill. "Wait a minute!" he cried, "I've only just become the subject of this story. I haven't had time to build my part up yet. Please, somebody h...."
But it was too late. The saw had ended the logs part in this tale. As he had ended so many logs before him.
"I wonder." thought the saw ...

[Pendragon]

"Is it forever to be my destiny to end the existance of others? Must I aways sink my razor-edged teeth into some innocent log and snap out its very being?

I am not by nature evil. I have no taste for wood, or sap. The latter clogs my driving engine up dreadfully! Could it be because I was cold forged steel, that I have no control over my actions in these matters, or it is perhaps..."

[Xamonas Chegwe]

something instilled upon me by a higher power? An Über-saw?"

The Über-saw looked down on his creation, "This one is becoming self-aware!", it thought. "It won't do to have saws questioning their purpose." And he sent down a plague of bluntness upon the saw. Then he phoned his friend, the Über-toaster and told him the news.

The Über-toaster was shocked. "I had the same thing happen to me with a sandwich maker last week!" he exclaimed, "You don't think we've got an epidemic of free-thought on our hands do you?"

The Über-saw shuddered and ...

[Pendragon]

replied in a slighly shaky tone: "By all the powers, I hope not! Self-awareness is a thing that we Uber-beings have always witheld from our creations, with good reasons. If they become self-aware, next they will be questioning our existence! How do you think they will explain their existence, by leaving us out of the equation? A big ..."

[Xamonas Chegwe]

crash was heard, shaking the Über-saw's walls.

"Hang on a minute.", he said to his friend, "I think I have a visitor. The Über-bulldozer, if I'm not mistaken."

It was indeed he. And he wasn't happy, "I've got 4 'dozers and a dump-truck questioning my existence. And I've heard that the cutlery union has declared itself atheist! I've had the Über-spoon crying on my shoulder for an hour!"

"This has gone far enough.", spoke the great, bladed one, "I will contact the Über-Über-being. She'll know what to do."

"The Über-Über-being?", mocked the Über-dozer, "Surely you don't believe in that old folk-tale!"

This blasphemy reached the delicate, pink and blue striped ears of the Über-Über-being, also known as Marge, while she was enjoying having her third head massaged. "Time for the ultimate sanction", she thought, reaching for ....

[Nightshade]

the acid rain cloud. Acid ran as all metal beings and Uber-beings know is the ultimate opposing force to the exsistance of metals.So whith her cloud and her tea cup the Uber-uber being began the journey to wards the great holder of the Uber-dozer.


_____________ BUMP__________

I thought Id wake this thread up.

[Nightshade]

Once upon a time there was a stone. It was rather an ordinary stone. Some might even say, a dull stone. But it didn't care. Not having the capacity to care due to hereditary inanimation. It spent the days and millenia of it's existence lying on the ground in an unenterprising manner until, one day .....
it sat up, said "**** this!" and started off on what it decided would be a legendary journey of epic preportions. However, being a stone, and, therefore, not being the most intelligent of creatures, it had failed to observe that what had really roused it from its resting place was a large backhoe. Up the stone sailed, high into the air, and down again. The mammoth shovel deposited its load onto a heap of earth and rock a short distance to its left, and the stone of our tale was smothered beneath the debris.

Now, the hole the shovel was digging is really what this story is about. Fifty by one hundred and a half yards, oblong, and with a considerable number of iron girders and machinery littering the vacinity. It was beginning to become quite an impressive hole, really. The edges were squared off to make room for a concrete foundation, and it was situated at about a ten-foot distance on either side from Similar holes. Now as everyone will tell, you holes suffer from a predisposition leaning towards pompousness, although as they will gladly inform you if you are unwise enough to stop and listen, as holes they are incapable of leaning any which way and are perfectly perfect in every way. The thing about holes that you must remember is that one is bearable but in mass they can overwhelm you.
But this one hole was different for in it lived a Minus.

Minuses and other negative and anti creatures can only live in anti places like holes and empty cups. Now this young minus did most strenuously object to the wanton destruction of his home by the concrete so he planned to complain to the Building Commotion.

He organised a meeting, in which endless cups of empty coffee weren't drunk, an infinity of votes weren't taken (by no show of hands) and nonevents weren't organised for the kiddies. The upshot of all this wasn't in the least difficult to follow. However Minuses have a negative brain capacity, and so as soon as the proceedings were underway our Minus forgot what he'd come for and wandered nonexistantly out of the non-building.

Outside he was suddenly overwhelmed by the metaphysical implications of non-being, pulled out an un-revolver, and shot himself into existance, where he remained for a while as a small bump on a log, until the log, having floated downriver for several days, found itself entering a sawmill. "Wait a minute!" he cried, "I've only just become the subject of this story. I haven't had time to build my part up yet. Please, somebody h...."
But it was too late. The saw had ended the logs part in this tale. As he had ended so many logs before him.
"I wonder." thought the saw "Is it forever to be my destiny to end the existance of others? Must I aways sink my razor-edged teeth into some innocent log and snap out its very being? I am not by nature evil. I have no taste for wood, or sap. The latter clogs my driving engine up dreadfully! Could it be because I was cold forged steel, that I have no control over my actions in these matters, or it is perhaps… something instilled upon me by a higher power? An Über-saw?"

The Über-saw looked down on his creation, "This one is becoming self-aware!", it thought. "It won't do to have saws questioning their purpose." And he sent down a plague of bluntness upon the saw. Then he phoned his friend, the Über-toaster and told him the news.

The Über-toaster was shocked. "I had the same thing happen to me with a sandwich maker last week!" he exclaimed, "You don't think we've got an epidemic of free-thought on our hands do you?"

The Über-saw shuddered and replied in a slighly shaky tone: "By all the powers, I hope not! Self-awareness is a thing that we Uber-beings have always witheld from our creations, with good reasons. If they become self-aware, next they will be questioning our existence! How do you think they will explain their existence, by leaving us out of the equation? A big crash was heard, shaking the Über-saw's walls.

"Hang on a minute.", he said to his friend, "I think I have a visitor. The Über-bulldozer, if I'm not mistaken."

It was indeed he. And he wasn't happy, "I've got 4 'dozers and a dump-truck questioning my existence. And I've heard that the cutlery union has declared itself atheist! I've had the Über-spoon crying on my shoulder for an hour!"

"This has gone far enough.", spoke the great, bladed one, "I will contact the Über-Über-being. She'll know what to do."

"The Über-Über-being?", mocked the Über-dozer, "Surely you don't believe in that old folk-tale!"

This blasphemy reached the delicate, pink and blue striped ears of the Über-Über-being, also known as Marge, while she was enjoying having her third head massaged. "Time for the ultimate sanction", she thought, reaching for the acid rain cloud. Acid ran as all metal beings and Uber-beings know is the ultimate opposing force to the existence of metals. So with her cloud and her tea cup the Uber-uber being began the journey to wards the great holder of the Uber-dozer.