twiz
10-16-2005, 02:24 PM
For my English homework, I had to write 3 story openings. I thought I'd post them here to gain helpful input...
The first one:
"Although fluorescent images of Father Christmas smiled at anyone happening to pass by, the afternoon was bleak. Rain gushed down the platform in great rivers as the woman in the red coat hurried onto the train. She had known from the moment she'd woken up that today was the day, the day her destiny would finally be fulfilled. This excited her, but also filled her with a terrible fear of what was to come. How had she got herself in so deep? Her life had changed completely over the last few months. She felt like a bystander, watching as her own life passed her by. But now was not the time for thinking. Now was the time for action. She smiled nervously to herself as the train sped on through the torrents, carrying her off into the darkness of the approaching night."
The second one:
"Sarah had often wondered what it would be like to just let loose and escape the confines of her sleepy town. She'd jump in the car, drive towards the horizon and never look back on her endlessly monotonous life. But now as she watched her husband sleeping on the other side of the bed, she knew in her heart this could never happen. To many people depended on her everyday. Oh how she wished she could leave it all behind! But for what? A few hours of freedom before Paul came looking for her? She was stuck where she was, and there was nothing she could do about it. She lifted the sheets over her face, and fell into an uneasy sleep."
The third one:
"As Adam drove, he became increasingly aware of an extremely strange phenomenon in the sky. As far as the the eye could see, the sky was turning a deep shade of green. He'd never seen anything like it. Sure, he'd watched a lot of spectacular sunsets, and seen some strange cloud formations in his time, but never in all his years anything as bizarre as what was happening now. He wouldn't tell Gemma, but this terrified him. “What's happening to the sky?” he asked Gemma, trying to sound casual. “I don't know Addy, but it sure is strange...” Gemma replied, her voice laced with curiosity."
The first one:
"Although fluorescent images of Father Christmas smiled at anyone happening to pass by, the afternoon was bleak. Rain gushed down the platform in great rivers as the woman in the red coat hurried onto the train. She had known from the moment she'd woken up that today was the day, the day her destiny would finally be fulfilled. This excited her, but also filled her with a terrible fear of what was to come. How had she got herself in so deep? Her life had changed completely over the last few months. She felt like a bystander, watching as her own life passed her by. But now was not the time for thinking. Now was the time for action. She smiled nervously to herself as the train sped on through the torrents, carrying her off into the darkness of the approaching night."
The second one:
"Sarah had often wondered what it would be like to just let loose and escape the confines of her sleepy town. She'd jump in the car, drive towards the horizon and never look back on her endlessly monotonous life. But now as she watched her husband sleeping on the other side of the bed, she knew in her heart this could never happen. To many people depended on her everyday. Oh how she wished she could leave it all behind! But for what? A few hours of freedom before Paul came looking for her? She was stuck where she was, and there was nothing she could do about it. She lifted the sheets over her face, and fell into an uneasy sleep."
The third one:
"As Adam drove, he became increasingly aware of an extremely strange phenomenon in the sky. As far as the the eye could see, the sky was turning a deep shade of green. He'd never seen anything like it. Sure, he'd watched a lot of spectacular sunsets, and seen some strange cloud formations in his time, but never in all his years anything as bizarre as what was happening now. He wouldn't tell Gemma, but this terrified him. “What's happening to the sky?” he asked Gemma, trying to sound casual. “I don't know Addy, but it sure is strange...” Gemma replied, her voice laced with curiosity."