The Fire That Burns Blue

[Meggie19]

Hi all!

I just wrote this fatnasy short story, that i entered into a fantasy/sci-fi story contest and i recieved semi-finalist. I would really like to know what you think about it. You can read it here.The Fire That Burns Blue (http://thecreativescoop.blogspot.com/)
I know its kinda long, but dont be afraid to read it lol.

-Meggie

[Dark Miss]

HI
I just read your story. And my initial impression is that it's very good, however do you take a few suggestions?
You have a very solid beginning and the characters seem that they could really develop in many different directions. Towards the middle, it gets a bit murky and it's as though you're trying to hurry the story along. And then the ending is really sudden and everything works out too well. There are so many little things you could tie together to make it more elaborate, that it just seems a waste. If two elementals with (and I'm only guessing) not the best powers available can defeat an even greater mage then why haven't the hundreds of the other mages done that already? Please, don't get me wrong, I guess I'm just a very picky editor. Also in the future, it makes for a really enjoyable read if you correct the spelling and grammar mistakes, at least in the copy you post. Really, over all it's a very solid piece of writing! And you've got some potential. Good Luck!

[Meggie19]

Yea alot of that hurrying in the middle was do to the fact that i was trying to get it done in time for the deadline, and trying to juggle that with high school (i had been putting it off for awhile lol). But it wasn't meant to be a stand alone story, and i am working on a sequel right now, which im not entering into a contest, so no deadlines to worry about. And thank you very much for your advice, i need it. As soon as i finish the sequel i will post it here.

[Dark Miss]

I can't wait :)