Fractured Titles

[Pendragon]

I started this crazy thread on another forum I'm on, and it's rapidly become a favorite, so I thought I try it here. Just for fun, no disrespect to any author or book written, you take the title of a well-known book, short story, or poem, fracture the title a bit by changing the wording somewhat (the original name should still be clear-- if you are not certain that the book, etc., is well-known enough, include the original name) and add a short, light-heart synopsis of what the "new" tale is about! It can be hilarious! :lol: I'll start:

Moby Richard The Great White Whale's autobiography, in which he tells the "true" story of his harassment by one Captain Ahab...

:) :) :) :)

[nickelsilver]

The Ketchup in the Rye

Disaffected youth works in a New York deli and tries to rebel against the "phoniness" of the eatery's clientele by refusing to serve sandwiches with any condiments other than bright yellow mustard.

[Psycheinaboat]

Moll Philanthropos

The story of a brothel owner who donates much of the income earned by her "scarlet women" to national and international charities.

[Pendragon]

Come on, don't be shy. You can do better.

Dr. Robin Hood and His Dreary Men Dr. Hood, as he now prefers to be called is master of a sanatorium for patients suffering from severe melancholy... :lol: :D

[B-Mental]

For Whom the Taco Bell Tolls - A man falls in love with a short haired woman with a past while aiding the soft shell rebels in their struggle against the hard shell fascists.

[Pendragon]

Ach, come on, dudes!
The Adventures of Sherlock's Bones With the Great Detective long dead, but crime still running wild, he cannot possibly "rest in peace". An so his skeleton goes forth on dark and stormy nights to continue the great man's career...http://www.websmileys.com/sm/evil/870.gif

[Nightshade]

Oi'Va Twis (Ive a Twist) --- The story ofa scheming young lad whose persuit of a better situation in life leads him to becoming a child criminal master mind and the downfall of most people around him .

[Pendragon]

And more...

Riders of the Purple Derriere: Tenderfeet on a six week cattle drive find out six weeks in the saddle is no picnic.

Little Chop of Horrors: Stage play about the French Revolution, featuring the guillotine as the main prop.

Of Human Fondue: Hannibal Lector’s cookbook.

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[Pendragon]

OK. More zany madness. http://www.websmileys.com/sm/aliens/hae36.gif


VARIOUS LEAVES OF GRASS: The consummate pot-smoker’s guide to weed

CALL OF THE MILD: Clark Kent’s autobiography.

OF BLACK BEAUTY: Exquisite volume highlighting the most lovely African-American ladies of the century.

NO LIGHT IN THE ATTIC: Collection of the most boring poems ever written.

ANNE OF GREEN GILLS: Anne takes her first ocean cruise, but discovers the ocean looks funny when you only view it while hanging over a ship’s rail while hurling…

PETER AND WINDY: Poor Pete’s new girlfriend just won’t shut up!

SCORCHING DAYS, WITHERING NIGHTS: A man lost for two weeks in Death Valley tells his story of survival

LORD OF THE FRIES: Ronald McDonald appoints an heir-apparent.

FOR WHOM THE BELLE'S TOAD: A bunch of the usual fairyland princesses argue over whose turn it is to kiss an especially ugly frog owned by Red Riding Hood...

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[Darlin]

Pendragon, you're on a roll! These are hilarious! :)

[mono]

Though I love Ernest Hemingway . . .

The Old Man In The Street: a tragic tale of a man who strolls outside to retrieve his mail, and forgets his home's location.

[Pendragon]

More Madness...

FACTULA: A new type of Nosferatu, they don’t suck your blood, they bore you to death by quoting myriad mindless minutiae…

THE MARK OF SORE-O: Our black-clad hero has vaulted into the saddle and hit the saddle-horn once too often…

FIDDLER ON THE HOOF: A talented horse plays classical violin at Carnegie Hall…

TO CHILL A MOCKING BIRD: A cookbook with such succulent dishes as SAUTÉD FALCON; THE ANYTHING MOVABLE FEAST; TIGER, TIGER, ROASTING RIGHT as well as the title dish…

THE BIG SHEEP: Rabid hunter Ahab Moby’s tale of the Great White Bighorn of The Rocky Mountains…

PETER’S VAN: Pete and his hommies, “The Lost Boys”, travel around the country in a rusty VW van playing music in a band called “Neverland”…

KING ARTHUR AND HIS NIGHTS AT THE ROUND TABLE: Arthur’s knights, lead by the rascally Sir Kay, give their own account of why the King is blind to the true state of “affairs” between Sir Lancelot and The Queen. “’E’s so stinkin’ drunk,” Kay sniggers, “’Tis a bleedin’ wonder someone don’ walk off wit th’ ‘hole castle!”

MUTINY ON THE BOUNCY: Captain Bligh, unaware that the crew have rigged the deck with a trampoline, charges pompously out of his cabin. “Mr. Christiannnnnnnnnnnn—(Boing! Splash!) Instant change of command!

SENSELESS INSENSEABILITY: A book without a single useful fact, meaningless gibberish—thus the U.S. Tax Code or any “How To” book emblazoned with those pregnant words: “Easy to understand instructions”….

FRANKEN’S STEIN: Old Dr. Franken’s favorite beer mug has turned up missing, and since he suspects his neighbor, who has just died last week, and a search of the man’s home turns up nothing, he decides to rob the man’s grave to see if the old reprobate took it with him…

GONE WITH THE WAND: Scarlett ticks off her Fairy Godmother…(now you know)

McBET: Shakespearean comedy about a Scottish Laird who wins a Kingship shooting craps with three witches on a blasted heath…


THE HAM LEFT: Shakespearean play about a Prima Donna who hogs the limelight and how much better the play improves after the cast kicks her off stage…

A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S TOLIET: Poor old Hank, suffering badly from “the trots”, charges out the back door for his outhouse, slips, hits his head on a rock, and wakes up in King Arthur’s times when pluming was even worse!

PRIDE AND PRE-JUCED: Usual cause for most fights in and around bars…

COUGHING FIT: Twain’s humorous story of the first time he tried to smoke a cigar…

DR. JEKYLL & MR. PRIDE: The good news is Dr. Jekyll has perfected his formula. The bad new is, it now turns him into the most insufferable snob in the universe!

JANE EERIE: Why Jane hasn't had a date in ten years…

JANE’S ASTON: Jane, unlucky at love, turns to auto racing in a flashy Aston-Martin automobile…

REBECCA OF DONNYBROOK FARM: They cain’t git no work dun down thar fer fightin’ alla time…

THE HUNTING OF THE BARK: The family dog has laryngitis…

ROMMY OWED AND JULIE ET: Rommy the Gypsy, and Julie, a backwoods gal, met on a dating service. Unfortunately, Julie loves to eat and now poor Rommy has had to borrow from his brother to feed her…

THE LUNCH BACK OF NOTRE DAME: Quasimodo, Esmeralda, and gang take a midday meal out behind the cathedral…
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